@AmyBeth68 I’m not sure about all campuses, but I do know that for sororities in the south, having letters of recommendation from alumni members of the greek organizations is very very important. Put feelers out to any friends or acquaintances who were greek and most are happy to write rec letters. Also, most communities have local Panhellenic groups who will even organize letters and get connections for you. Rush is all about making an impression and finding the group where you fit in best. While you want to be yourself, it’s also important to realize that given the short amount of time, people will be judging you based on appearance/clothing, and personality. Also, each sorority has to make cuts every round so even if they appear to really like you, sometimes you get unexpectedly cut. For most girls, it can be heartbreaking, but in the end they usually end up with a good match. Rush is stressful but also a lot of fun. And once you are in it can be a very positive, rewarding experience. Cost also varies depending on the school. Colleges with big fancy greek houses tend to cost a lot more than ones with chapter rooms or smaller houses. The first year is also usually significantly more expensive than subsequent years. And you will buy A LOT of t-shirts 
I know that at one campus my friend’s daughter pays a couple thousand a year. at UT-Austin my friend’s daughter paid $8000 the first year. This year she lives in the house though and the dues haven’t increased much and it includes room and board. I have heard that at big Greek campuses (Alabama, LSU) are more on the upper end.
@AmyBeth68 I was in a co-ed Fraternity and it was much more laid back than a traditional fraternity, but it will vary from campus to campus and from fraternity to fraternity, of course.
We had dues, but we also had financial aid, and the dues were nowhere near as high as have been mentioned. We had parties but they were low-key. We did a good amount of service and we had zero hazing (it was a point we mentioned every year and made very clear). Many of my closest friends are people I was in the fraternity with.
One chapter at one school is not necessarily representative at all, but I am a fan of the co-ed fraternities.
In contrast to southern schools, my DS’s fraternity in the Midwest has annual dues of $450. He also goes to kind of a nerdy school so the party scene is more muted. His girlfriend is in a sorority and although I don’t know her dues, I do know that they had clothing requirements for rush, but not to the degree mentioned previously. For example, for one event the members all had to be in white jeans but there was no edict about brand or style.
DS is also in a professional co-ed fraternity so the two are not mutually exclusive, by the way.
wow. Did I get lucky that my kids did not go to big Greek schools. That’s quite an unaticipated extra cost! I totally understand the benefit of joining a smaller group to be your “family” at a big school, but $8000 - ouch!
I’m with Genevieve18 aobut co-ed groups - I think they are much less prone to the systematic problems that we see occurring with Greek life (especially the fraternities).
D started out with deferrals & then rejections from both of her EA schools (MIT & UChicago), and she currently has acceptances in hand from 3 of her other reach schools. She’ll be attending a scholarship competition at one of them this week & another sent her a likely letter, so she will visit that campus in April.
We currently have no information on the financial aid packages that will be offered, so (at this point) all of her schools are still in play. She is admitted to her safety school & is waiting on a couple more reach school results on Mar 28th.
We did contact one of her match schools @ 2 months ago to let them know that she wouldn’t be attending (NFW for the financial aid offered), but it seems like the school is now sending us letters & brochures & little trinkets every other day - I guess the marketing department hasn’t gotten the memo yet!
I can already see that April is going to fly by quickly!!
I was in a big, well known traditional sorority during college and, in retrospect, I really wish I had not gone through rush at all. It’s weird how hard it is to say no when you feel “wanted” and are getting a hard sell to join . . . I lived in the sorority house for a year (sophomore year, after living in the dorms freshman year), was an officer, and still struggled with ambivalence the entire time. I finally quit after being in Europe junior year.
The focus on physical appearance, the male-female dynamics with the fraternities, the cost, and the inability to spend time with non-Greek people because of time constraints were all big negatives for me. I was also one of the few people in the sorority who had a job during college and I think I was kind of bitter about what I perceived as others’ lack of awareness of finances. I also think I must have been the only person who actually was confused when I learned the sorority’s philanthropic efforts were not a true focus of the organization.
I do keep in touch with friends from the sorority, but I would have been more true to myself if I had declined the pledge offer. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, but I regret having limited myself and staying in an organization that didn’t really share my values.
Fortunately, I can’t see either of my sons being drawn to fraternities (which are even more distressing to me - at least there’s no alcohol allowed in sorority houses and very limited hazing, if any). This discussion has been useful because I will be more cognizant that they may change their minds at some point, so I can be prepared!
The worst sorority story I heard of was a young lady I knew who came from a disadvantaged background. She joined a sorority and her extended family helped with the official costs. But her sorority required her to get gifts for her sorority sisters periodically and since she she had no way to buy the expensive gifts, she resorted to shoplifting. I don’t think she made that choice easily and probably felt completely desperate. 
A girl in my dorm woke up naked, with her friend, with their bodies covered in shaving cream in the basement of a frat house freshman year.
I had a boyfriend who lived in a frat house and the alumni would regularly hold parties and invite strippers and prostitutes.
I have never been a fan of sororities and fraternities. Although I know many engage in community service, it’s hard to forget the other stuff.
I think a lot about greek life depends on the presence it has on campus. Some schools are very heavily greek and those kids live in the frat/sor houses and rarely interact with GDI’s (God D**N Individuals). Some have a limited presence and are pretty much just like any other club on campus. You can do a search on CC about your specific colleges to see how much of a footprint they have.
We’re done! UCLA Go Bruins!
Thank you all for all your help and support along the way. Best of luck to those still waiting to hear and decide - remember that all of our kids will end up at places where they will make some of the best friends in their lives, we will all be getting comforters, pillows and shower caddies and . . . by October 1st, no one will give a darn about SAT scores! :-c
Not a big poster but a frequent reader. It’s nice to say we are officially done with the search - D accepted to UCLA on Friday. On to the next phase!
D accepted to UCI, UCSD, UCSB . . .
and can’t decide between the three. Ugh!
D accepted to St. Lawrence. Decent merit but not as much as some of the other colleges. Will be visiting again.
No competitive scholarships.
We are down to two very good options. Rowan Engineering (<$12,000) or TCNJ ($24,000ish without loans). D hasn’t received notification for Rowan honors yet but has been accepted in TCNJ honors.
These are absolutely fantastic choices, and I should be jumping for joy but instead I feel sad that she probably won’t have my oldest D’s small LAC type of experience.
Both of the other colleges, after learning of our circumstances, will be re-evaluating to see if they might be able to get D additional grants. As kind as that is–and I’m very grateful both schools suggested it-- I can’t imagine the prices coming down to anything comparable.
We have one accepted students day this weekend and another in two weeks. I’m really kind of hoping something magical will happen for D and she comes away confident that one of them is right for her.
This is really all about me. D seems completely okay. She must be disappointed but outwardly she seems sure things will work out in a good way.
@suzy100 Thanks for giving me the nudge I needed to call. Now we know what the choices are. And if I hadn’t called, the schools would not have asked the questions they did which led to the offers to re-assess our financial need.
D18 rejected UCSB, UCD
Business administration
UC gpa 3.92
ACT 32
in-state
Accepted to SDSU early honors admit, Northeastern, Case Western (merit $$$) Santa Clara U (merit $$$) IU Kelley School of Business, waitlisted CPSLO, waitlisted Tulane
Loved SDSU the most so all good here!!
I will not get in fights on other threads. I will not get in fights on other threads. I will not get in fights on other threads.
Phew! That was close. 
So nice to see so many decisions taking shape!
@bearcatfan @AmyBeth68 Thanks for you input. I think she is leaning toward not rushing her freshman year, which will give her a chance to check them out to see if there are any that interest her. My D15 didn’t have to make the decision, as her college votes every year and they don’t have sororities/fraternities. Younger D18 is looking like going to UCLA so it’s a bigger school…so could benefit her more. Ugh!!
I’m beginning to get nervous that S won’t get ANY outside scholarships. He didn’t get the college competitive one, and today I found out S needed a resume for another scholarship, after being told back in January that yes, his scholarship application was complete. It’s a local scholarship, so I had it to them within 30 minutes. And they said they hadn’t evaluated his file yet, so we were fine. Good thing I called to check status, or I might not have known of the missing resume. He still has 2 other outside scholarships in play, but I’m terrified he won’t get anything. I’ll gladly apply for the parent plus, and S will get a loan if need be, but I was really hoping for some outside aid.
Why does everything have to be at once?
I thought great, the play is done, we can work on local scholarships, but now there is a paper due
@apraxiamom and @MACmiracle I’m feeling the same way about disappointment over scholarships. I went into this blindly thinking that with his test scores, gpa, and ranking all in the top 1%, coupled with ECs, Leadership, and lots of service hours that he would get some really good scholarships. So far, the only ones he has gotten are institutional ones that are based solely on stats. And I am grateful for those, but no competitive ones yet. One more big one and several little ones to still find out about but I’m losing confidence. And DH and I are definitely taking it harder than DS. I think it’s a lot of guilt for not having saved enough money for college. He does have a few good options, but at this point his favorite is off the table NFW and his favorite of the remaining is still a stretch without more $. I am so ready for this to be over.
Big congratulations for being done @glido and @sandiegodad2017 !
And @biscuit4reggie it sounds like you’re almost there - thanks for posting your D’s stats and list of accepted/rejected/waitlist, I thought it was really interesting to see which schools did what.
@SC Anteater, sounds like all great choices!