@Momma2018 my guess is there are not a lot of students deciding between Brandeis and Holy Cross or Brandeis and BC.
I’m sure which ever he chooses he will do great as they are both great schools
@amom2girls isn’t it a bit cold for the Jersey Shore? Maybe good for a snowball fight?
@Momma2018 even with great choices those denials hurt…especially when they were schools the kiddos have had in their reach dreams. We have just started the denial days ( one on Saturday and one last night) and is seems to get a little easier. Love your ice cream in the freezer…wish I thought of that.
As far as the BC shirt I suggest you tuck it away. Here is what I wrote earlier today in another parent group when the subject of wearing school gear before getting in came up:
“Let me start by saying I just came home from work and changed into my favorite around the house sweatshirt. It is from Harvard from 1991 and my brother gave it to me when he was denied admission. It is my favorite because it (1) sibling rivalry he was not very sympathetic when I was denied at my first choice four years prior (2) He ended up at Northwestern. He has been in Chicago ever since and has created a successful business and more importantly met his wife and has three incredible daughters who never would have been my nieces if he went to Harvard. This is my “things don’t always go the way you want but sometimes they go even better than you can imagine sweatshirt.””
Once he has a few successful semesters under his belt at Brandeis or Holy Cross give him the shirt so he remembers the great life lessons that come through this whole college process.
Oh the places these kids will go! Congratulation on Brandeis and Holy Cross!
Thanks for sharing that story @MinnieFan! I agree that things happen for a reason.
I am just so relieved that it is over aside from waiting on scholarships.
So my daughter has the list down to nine…gulp! She’s got some serious paring down to do before April 30th. We are off to Pitt today and UVA soon thereafter. She applied to each one of these schools for a specific reason and I suspect that there is going to be a sense of mourning as she says goodbye to eight.
@RelocatedYankee we have made it down from 7 to 3. That part was pretty easy…now it is really hard and we are still waiting on 2. So happy I am not the decision maker as I want her to go to all of them for different reasons.
Happy travels this weekend…hope you have some successful paring!
One of the clubs at DS’s high school used to take donations of unwanted college shirts/sweatshirts after May 1, and then they would hold a fundraiser by selling off the donated clothing for cheap. Brilliant idea I thought.
My three DDs wear college gear from their own colleges, each other’s colleges, and colleges they like (even ones they didn’t get into.) I was asking my DD18 about this the other day and her reply was “The school is still a great school even if I didn’t get in AND this shirt is so soft.” Soft seems to take priority over most things in life.
@melvin123 , haha! Yes, the Jersey Shore is still cold, especially after this past storm. I’m glad that my daughter’s prom leads in to Memorial Day weekend. And that they are staying at her best friend’s aunts house (with family in residence;)
@RelocatedYankee we’re off to Pitt as well!
@AmyBeth68 @RelocatedYankee Should be a couple of dry days with temps in mid 40’s. I hope you all (or as many locals say yenz) have a great weekend at Pitt.
Oh @amom2girls I had mis-read your post and thought your D’s prom was this weekend. Got to say, though, that I think it would be cool and memorable to go to a beach covered in snow.
@melvin123 , I think that I was unclear. She did attend a prom last night, but as someone’s date. It was not her prom, if that makes sense? Those kids were headed to the shore right after prom. My daughter was unable (thankfully;) to go.
I had a financial aid person call yesterday from one of the small colleges D really liked but didn’t get a competitive scholarship from.
The fa person was very understanding about our somewhat unique financial situation and even suggested an appeal that would include sending in the other merit offers D received. But the primary advice came down to loans, parent plus and private.
I can’t tell you how much that turned me off, like really repulsed me. She was lovely and sympathetic and trying to be helpful, but just NO. With limited income and two younger kids kids, we would be digging ourself into a pit that we would never get out of. Everyone would lose.
As much as I was disappointed, the experience clarified things for me and brought me a lot of peace. So much so that I could come out and say things to D that I was hesitant to before. Before, I wanted to make sure the choice of college to be HER decision so I was very mindful of saying too much of MY opinion.
But yesterday I could finally tell her some things like: If you are ambivalent about college, don’t go into debt for one if you have other options–which are probably better options.
I even told her she could take a gap year if she was really unsure. It took a lot for me to say that.
I think since the fa phone call, I appreciate our instate options a lot more and see the benefits beyond just the low cost. I think D does, too, which is the important thing.
We have a big visit this weekend and H is coming along. He always has interesting insights and doesn’t hold back. He’ll get really excited about the good things and make fun of the bad. It should be fun. 
@MinnieFan what a great perspective, thank you for sharing - love how this started as sibling rivalry!
@MACmiracle We took that gap year to gain perspective and I am so very thankful we did. What a huge difference that year has made. Its been almost exactly one year since DH and I made that gut wrenching decision to just say NO.
The attitude of her peers, the peers parents and as you have seen, the FA people is “parent loans”. IMO and for us, NOT an option at all. It really ticks me off when all I hear is “everyone has student debt” yes, and its crippling our young people. This was one area that I have no qualms about being the odd parent out.
With our current plan, DD’s merit package and my extra part time job along with the funds we had saved for her, DD will go to college and graduate completely debt free. She won’t have to take out any type of loan. Is she going to her “dream” school? Nope, but it is interesting to see how her perspective towards what was her “dream” school has changed over the past year and she is going to a great school where she will get an excellent education.
@MinnieFan I love that shirt story. When DS was trying to get his ACT up to make Bama a more financially viable option and he was so frustrated I had to tell him that some doors stay closed because those aren’t the doors you are meant to go through.
Can I just say how tired I am of this whole process? D in’st really happy with any of the schools she’s been accepted to, except the one that I don’t think offers the same opportunities as the others. She’s upset she didn’t apply to UCLA, even though she had no interest in applying at the time (and UCLA was going to be a longshot). She’s like goldilocks – each of the 3 UCs she’s been accepted to has something ‘wrong’ with it. If she gets into USC it will be likely NFW (of which we were upfront with her from the start, saying unless she got a big merit scholarship it wasn’t going to be affordable, and she wasn’t one of those selected for interviews for said merit scholarships).
I’m sure this is all normal, and she’ll pick one and be happy about it at some point, but man is it draining to live through every day. (And part of me thinks about all those kids who would kill to be accepted to these schools and aren’t).
@AmyBeth68 @RelocatedYankee , please share your Pitt visit insight here or PM as I cannot attend with D18 in April, someone has to look after the rest of the non college bound folks in the house. Pitt remains near the top of the list with the latest rejection and waitlist notifications. D18 handling this latest disappointment well, and feels lucky to have good choices. Some of her classmates have been less fortunate, very eye opening for sure.
@burghdad any hotel/restaurant suggestions would be appreciated.
Coming out of lurkdom to say looking for Pitt insight, too! D is still considering Pitt, looking to visit, but have a few things to get through before finding a date to visit. Sigh.
Not a lot of updates but D has viable options on both coasts and received the top scholarship from our instate flagship.
My D seems to be conservative regarding prom dresses so we spend a little money on hair and make up for my no make up, hair in a bun/ponytail child. Must say, I absolutely loved her hair both proms she attended last year. One was long waves of curls and another a gorgeous loose updo (wedding worthy). Both lasted beautifully all night. Make up coordinated with dresses and lasted all night, too. We actually paid older DDs friend, it was cheaper and held together much better than pricier professional done.