Regarding bath mats (very important topic), we bought this year for D16 but the year before another person in the suite had it set up when we arrived (I returned it later). She didn’t know her suite mates freshman year so they didn’t coordinate ahead of time as they did this year. Something else to consider!, but we drove!
Yes @Booajo it’s not a black or white choice for sure.
You know, ultimately full ride was too much to pass up for us, but I don’t pretend for one minute that it is right for everyone, and I don’t even pretend it was “right” for us. The details are so nuanced.
One other thing we briefly discussed, (and I am not sure if it has value to others) was if something is just not right after a year, and you want to make a change, at least our current choice is no cost. As a family we HAVE been in a situation after a ‘year one’ that the choice was costly. Not necessarily a ‘mistake’, but certainly a choice with cost.
@Booajo My daughter had two acceptances Clemson and Delaware. She was accepted to both schools honors colleges and given the max merit money. However, I knew you liked Clemson better between the schools.
Then Delaware invited her to Disinguished scholarship weekend which gave her the opportunity for a full ride.
As it turned out she didn’t get full ride but did get about 12K per year more from Delaware than Clemson. Although I did not want to turn my nose up at an extra 48K in merit money…it wasn’t an amount (for us) that I was going to make a strong play with her to go to a school I knew she didn’t like as much. Now if there was a full ride on the table it would have had a very different conversation and I would have been much more forceful in my discussions.
These are very hard decisions for both the kids and the parents. I wish you and your son the best in making his hard choice.
The loans we have asked him to take for the expensive school are just the standard 5500 etc. so less than 30k debt for him total. The other additional money would come from us, via things like working FT rather than PT. It is doable but not my favorite idea. Eventually he’ll decide and we will move on. I’m going to have regrets either way, honestly.
@Booajo I’m so sorry you are going through this!! After all of the stress of applications they forget to tell you that the decision can be just as agonizing. Sending good mojo your way for a decision 
Trying to understand how scholarships combine and stack can be incredibly complicated.
DS received an outside scholarship from NHS that prompted me to try to understand how it all works at Louisville. He has an option to defer it for up to four years so we were trying to decide the best strategy.
Based upon my own reading of the overaward policy on their FA website, I had convinced myself he wouldn’t benefit much if any from outside scholarships since he already has a generous “full ride”. Learned I was wrong. They have a limit on how much institutional aid (need or merit aid from the school) a student can receive annually based on the cost of attendance. But if you aren’t taking out any federal loans, they don’t reduce the institutional aid for outside scholarships.
That was unexpected great news. Means the NHS scholarship will end up being distributed out along with other excess over the direct costs (tuition, fees, room and meal plan). He can bank it for med school down the road.
Congratulations @odannyboySF @glido @RoonilWazlib99 <:-P
@Booajo I know what you mean about regrets either way. Although we’ve already made the deposit and S has moved on (quite happily), I must admit to still feeling a niggle of regret about Rice. Just a niggle, but it’s still there. Makes me look longingly back to when his hardest decision was “Do I wear the blue Spiderman shirt or the red one?”
Hang in there, waiting parents. As hard as it is to make the final decision, I think it’s even harder to watch and wait.
@Booajo My son is deciding between two schools which would necessitate loans from one, not the other. Up until 2 weeks ago, the COA at each school was equal, then an unexpected scholarship landed in his lap. Now he has a choice to make. He is very torn, and I"m trying to give him space. It is so hard.
@Booajo , the higher cost university that your S is considering is a great university and understandable that there might be some initial doubts or regrets to give it up. Keep in mind it will cost more than they estimate. They only allot $500 for transportation, but we estimated (coming OOS) it would be more like four to five times that for move in week alone, and the $500 doesn’t include holiday visits or parent’s weekend… We factored in $4,000 transportation and move in costs the first year, as opposed to $500. Also, the estimate provided by the university was for the lowest dining plan, whereas most friends will likely be eating at on campus restaurants, the cool new ones near the Honor’s dorm, and/or going out on weekends around town… which means more added cost. Considering joining Greek life? Kaching kaching. Alternatively, S would not likely be pinching pennies at a more affordable university which can lead to less stress.
Ultimately, we were in a similar spot, able to “afford” the more expensive higher ranked university, but when factoring in many opportunities at other universities that were not offered by the elite T20, (including better funded study abroad options, deeper resources/support for internships, and better fit in other ways) it made more sense for our family to save the college funds for grad school and/or future endeavors.
There is no right or wrong answer. And @VAMom23 is right about the choice not being easy. Your S may decide it is worth going for the elite school which we would have been very happy with has our S decided that too. That being said, agree with @DavidPuddy, there’s something about saving/investing $45,000 a year for four years that just feels good!
@hafamama, Notre Dame is a fabulous choice your S made in the end, and at a more affordable cost than Rice or USC. Congrats!
I have two older kids who attended an Ivy league school (at $50K more per year than our very good state U). One kid really used all the resources of the Ivy and its connections. She literally could not have had all the same opportunities coming out of the big state school. The other kid, CS-Engineering, probably would have done better with the big state school as he does not reach out to professors, or take advantage of his school’s unique offerings. Recruiting for his field is better at our big state U than it is at his school. I mentor a couple of scholarship students from our area as well. One got lost at her state u, the other is thriving and taking advantage of all the opportunities that her state u offers (that no private could offer).
Look carefully at your child and their personality. Its less about the name recognition of the school and more about where your child will thrive, and will they take advantage of the opportunities offered. That’s what makes a school worth the money or not.
@Booajo We were in the same situation. My husband and I would have sent him to the other schools and were even encouraging it as we believed it would open new doors for him. We worked out the finances and what it would mean for our family. My son ended up choosing the less expensive school after weighing the options. His reason for going that route was because of the less expensive school’s great academic reputation, its proximity to home, and the fact that he is going in knowing enough people to make the transition into this next chapter of his life more comfortable for him socially.
That being said, he gave up rah-rah, he gave up the diversity of attending some of these other schools, he gave up being part of a Scholars program, and he gave up schools that were closer to areas we thought he’d have fantastic internship opportunities. Academically the three universities he was choosing between on all offered him an excellent education, internship opportunities and travel abroad. While his decision is entirely different than the one my husband and I would have chosen for him, it was ultimately his decision and a very adult one at that. This is one of those times you need to get out the pen and paper an make a list.
I wish you, and us all the best of luck and faith it will all work out.
@Booajo, I would ask him to mentally pick one school - have him go sort of “go all in” as in this is really where he is going - and sit with it for a day. How did he feel? Happy? Worried that he made the wrong choice? Then have him do the same thing the next day with the other school. I do this when I have a big decision that is bothering me. Maybe this would help?
@Booajo I had forgotten, what is your S interested in studying? I have heard, and believe, that for a major like engineering job prospects aren’t as influenced by prestige, whereas a job in finance is. I’d also consider his major when looking at how easy/hard it will be for him to pay back his loans, and whether he will need to continue to grad school. Obviously med/law/business schools will add more debt, but maybe not so obviously even PHD schools that students don’t usually have to pay for can make paying the undergrad loan more difficult because of accruing interest and the fact that repayment starts later in life. I think sometimes debt is worth it and really agree with @stemmmm comment that you need to look at your own individual kid’s personality to see if the more expensive school will provide more for HIM, but wanted to toss in that choice of major can impact it too.
My DD announced that her choice was Muhlenberg College today. Her other choice had been a ED deferral and then a yes at regular admissions. She had to give herself permission to change her mind about that school and that was harder than she thought. I’m really happy because she seems much lighter now that she’s decided.
<— Does this logo make my butt look big? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I tried so many different logos before landing on this one. D18 has decided on Amherst College. I have to say it was the toughest decision of her life. It came down to two very fine schools, with incredible students, wonderful faculty and excellent programs. I’m honestly happy it wasn’t an easy choice. We are grateful that she had this opportunity. May God bless this next chapter!
My heart goes out to those of you still weighing options. I wish I had some magical advice to make it easier.
Congrats on all the recent decisions!
We have notified all schools and are finally making the deposit tonight, taking a pic with the College of Music t-shirt, and flying the flag out front of the house! And the choice is…Florida State University College of Music, BM vocal performance!
It came down to a choice between Miami-Frost and FSU, though he also had music admits and great scholarships to USCal, Furman and Loyola-NO. Frost had been his personal favorite since the beginning, especially after a great scholarship weekend which resulted in his getting the full tuition Singer Scholarship. Additional scholarships even brought the Frost cost of attendance very close to FSU. But in the end, what swung the decision was S18’s receiving the Presidential Scholarship to FSU, which is only given to 25 incoming freshmen students across the whole university and provides wonderful leadership and research opportunities in addition to a $12,000 summer abroad stipend. Also, he gained entry to the voice teacher studio of his choice and FSU has a number of other voice teachers who would fit him well should he ever have to switch studios for an unforeseen reason. With the OOS NMF Benacquisto scholarship and the summer stipend, college will be free for him and he will even get money deposited into his account. We are very thankful.
Congrats to all our recent decision makers! <:-P <:-P <:-P
To those of you still on that coaster :-& hang on tight! It’ll be over soon, we’re cheering you on here at the station! >:D<
While some of you are still in that agony of where, this weekend I’m taking D back to visit her school for a “pre-orientation” day, during which she will register for classes! 
And I can’t believe @3scoutsmom 's S is moving in June 3! My D won’t even be graduated by then!! You guys what happened to this year?!?
Seems crazy how slow everything seemed to be going while we were all waiting for those admissions decisions and now this new coaster moves very fast, speeding my baby right away from me! :(( And I can’t even wrap my head around dorm shopping/moving. I’ve barely got a handle on the household move that is scheduled for late June. DH and I fully cleaned out the garage this weekend #:-S Now all I have to do is finish with the rest of the house =))
But I was very excited to read about this BB&B dorm registry thing. THAT is going to be a lifesaver! D has a birthday coming up + graduation, that will just make things so much easier! CC family to the rescue again!
So glad we’ve had each other through this. I can’t believe how different things might have turned out for us if not for this board. :x
Congrats on your choice of Southwestern @1822mom - Both my husband and I went there. I loved it!
For those asking which schools my S is still considering - Cal Poly, UCSB, Santa Clara, and two out of state ones that I really doubt he’ll select. If I had to bet at this moment, I’d say Santa Clara but we’ll see. Sigh!