I know that out of my DS’s group from high school he and one other are in the careers they thought they would be in (Physical Therapist/Sports NewsCaster). My DS went undeclared for the first three years just to make sure of his direction. Yes, it cost him an extra year in his undergrad but better there than a complete career shift later in life. He spent a semester dabbling with the idea of Political Science (Dad and I just held our breath)
Many of his group completely shifted gears, some stayed in the same area ie the kid who wanted to be an Ortho Surgeon is a ER nurse, the one who wanted to be in music is in marketing but specializes is organizing special events and then the kid who wanted to be an accountant is a speech therapist etc.
I have seen a very similar trend with DD’s social group except what I have seen more of in her group than I did in my son’s is the kids are changing schools after 1-2 years. I was surprised how many of her friends went off to schools to follow a specific program only to discover it was not for them and they have returned instead of switching gears in the school they are in. Some it was due to the schools being very focused on an area of study others it was a disillusionment of the program and they came home to the local universities or CC’s. Its been interesting. When my son went to college we lived in a different state that only had two Universities and most kids stayed instate, so while the kids rarely changed schools, they changed majors often.
My DD is also undeclared, her interests have ranged from cupcakes (pastry arts/chef) to corpse (medical examiner) with an astrophysicist thrown into the mix for good measure.
Sure, some kids are very focused and just seem to know, I prefer to look at college as an opportunity to explore, to learn about themselves, to reach out of their comfort zones and see what is out there that may be of interest.
@vistajay thanks for the advice! Sorry you have to educate people so much. That’s what so great about being on CC and learning about gem schools that you didn’t know about before.
Guests arrive this weekend. House cleaned, garage swept… S out having fun. What’s that? S has still never cleaned a toilet or operated a vacuum cleaner. There’s always June!
@Nomorelurker - you can’t send your kid off to college without knowing how to use a vacuum or clean a toilet. I’m sorry but your job is not done yet. (and your future daughter-in-law will thank you too!).
Two most often repeated sentences this year, “I love you so much!” Along with, “Please clean up after yourself, We don’t want you to be THAT roommate!” ;
I’m curious - Those of you who have commented that your kids need to learn to do laundry, cook a simple meal, clean/vacuum etc. are you being facetious or are y’all serious? My DD stalks me here on CC and has decided I am a slave driver My kids cook, clean, menu plan, balance a check book, create a grocery list with a budget etc and have been doing household chores since they were very young. I’m not the maid and everyone who lives under our roof contributes in some way.
My DS IMO is a catch - he has an education, works hard, makes great money, can cook, clean, budget and grocery shop along with handle small household repairs and sew a button back on if need be.
I was talking with my CPA the other day - he has younger kids 10/12 and we were discussing this. He said he didn’t do laundry until he went to college and his own kids have no clue. He and his wife handle all the household chores and tasks. Both he and his wife work outside the home and they are just now starting to consider giving their kids household chores as they are exhausted trying to keep up with everything.
When DD was filling out her app for roommates there was a 3 point scale for cleanliness:
Slob
Messy
Neat
She chose the messy - I looked at her room where the carpet has not seen the light of day in months (she knows how to clean, she chooses to not clean her space and I just close the door) anyway, I look at her and then her room and chuckle. I then inquire into her “messy” selection. Her response made sense to me, she said “I don’t want to live with a neat freak and I don’t want to live with a slob, I want to live with someone who knows HOW to clean but can live with clutter”
@SnowflakeDogMom I am with you. My kids don’t know how to balance a checkbook yet, but that is on the list this summer as my son prepares for his first apartment. They don’t spend enough to have learned earlier. Everything else, they have been doing for years. SIngle parent here, laundry responsibilities were turned over at 12. Now, just because they know how to clean a bathroom doesn’t mean they will in college. That is another thread!
I did note that S18’s university sent out info on a laundry service available for students. He looked at the price and quickly decided that wasn’t worth his hard earned money.
@VAMom23 I am in accounting as a profession, I taught them the very basics regarding their kid checking accounts as my DS had a tendency to “see” his bank balance and think that is what he had available to spend LOL He would spend and when he went over, it dipped into my account [-( put an end to that pretty quickly.
When DS started college we (he and I) had a joint account to manage his rent, utilities etc. it was the account that covered the things I contributed too. As for the items he paid, that came out of his funds and I did not have transparency as I didn’t see the need. My funds kept a roof over his head, groceries in the fridge and the lights on, if he ran out of beer $$ that was his problem.
DD didn’t have a job until late in high school and her account is all debit card driven so what she see’s is generally what she has. She has become very disciplined about her accounts as she has a savings and a spending account. She puts a certain portion into her spending, the rest to savings and is really good at sticking to her budget.
Very true on the statement just because they can doesn’t mean the will but I do know mine can and she has the same expectation - needs to know HOW
Another shooting. Unbelievable how far we have come since Columbine. I remember that day so well and now Santa Fe is just a quick sentence or two in the 1pm news. God Bless those students, faculty and staff who have had their lives devastated but a 17 year old shooter.
@SnowflakeDogMom’s daughter. In our house everyone makes their own lunch, does their own laundry, is responsible for their room, and the kids take turns with the shared bathroom. If you drive you also do the errands. Once you are 16 you get a checking account and are given money each month for expenses (dance class, errands that you run for Mom and gas money for the school commute). If you do not manage the funds then you have to pay with your own money… which is very little by the end of the school year(my kids only work in the summer though they do occasionally babysit in the school year). Also once you drive you make all your own appointments: doctor, dentist, hair and so forth.
We have two weeks and a weekend to go until graduation…but the “work” has been done since last week’s APs. Three exams next week (math and theology everyone has to take) and a semester elective. Full year classes that she has an A in or took an AP for she does not have an exam. That said busy with dance recital this weekend and lots of school events over the next two weeks. And D20 decided this week that she will be having her Sweet 16 on June 1st with 100 kids invited(day after sister’s prom and three days before graduation). Long story why I am letting her do it in June (her birthday is in July) but as of last week it looked like it was off and as of Tuesday it is on! We are doing it with another family and the mom is very excited about it and has been planning like crazy so I hit the jackpot in that part of it.
Good news this week as D18 found out she received a local scholarship! Small amount but will offset the cost of winter term course she was accepted to ( on the same day). So nice to have one these scholarships go well and she is invited ( along with two family members) to luncheon to be honored and presented with the money.
DD’s Statistics teacher has devoted the last few weeks of class to “personal finance”. He’s young (LOL) so went over banking apps and all of the online options which have taken me ages to get used to! Very helpful and relevant.
@SnowflakeDogMom , totally agree about the likelihood of switching majors. My son has a pretty specific music major, but we did not let him apply to music-only conservatories. We steered him to universities which were great in his planned major but where he would also take other courses and could accommodate him if he ever decided to change majors.
As for messiness, some future spouse is going to have a lot of work to do with my S18, as mine did with me!
One of my co-workers has their kids turn in expense reports and then Dad approves based on what has been agreed upon and reimburse accordingly. We laugh over the disallowed expenses ie the Starbucks etc. that they try and slip thru or the explanations they come up with to justify the expense for reimbursement.
I have no idea what the answer is in regards to these horrific events in our high schools, saying my prayers are with them is beginning to feel like an empty thought - this breaks my heart, I have been avoiding the headlines as it makes me sick to my stomach.
My S had financial literacy class in first quarter. It would be a lot more relevant now. But he knows how to do a tax return, which will come in handy.
@pickledginger The elementary school reunion went really well! The seniors thought the walk down memory lane would be just a quick walk through the school, but the hallways were lined with students and teachers, all excited to wish the graduating students well! It gave former teachers time to ‘lei’ kids, many came to the cafeteria to take group pictures. Some even personalized treats with pictures from back in the day. It was well attended and much appreciated by all.
@mommdc I love doing their laundry! One day I won’t have the privilege. Just like making their lunches. My husband and I have taken turns over the years, but when tupperware goes missing I remind him we won’t get to do this forever. Such a blessing. :-*
S can do laundry, vacuum, clean the bathroom, take care of cats, take out the trash, etc. I don’t think he has ever ironed, though, because even dress clothes today don’t often need ironing.
I still make his lunch. He can and does make his own when I’m away, but I like doing it when I’m home. He can cook the basics - eggs and toast for breakfast, macaroni and cheese, etc. We may do more cooking lessons over the summer, or possibly over Christmas. He won’t have much need to cook with his expected meal plan, but there’s no guarantee he’ll be home next summer to learn either.
Re: Texas - I cried in my car, and then texted S to tell him I love him. The writer in me gets a little flippy about the year winding down. You know how in movies if they show a cop who’s about to retire, you know he’s toast? I look at the number of days until graduation and I pray nothing happens.
The writer in me gets a little flippy about the year winding down. You know how in movies if they show a cop who’s about to retire, you know he’s toast? I look at the number of days until graduation and I pray nothing happens.