Lucky you seeing the Braves! My son has to take a placement test this summer too. What language did your son choose?
And we are done! Graduation went perfectly last night. S18 even got a shout out during the president’s speech for his producing and directing a charity musical which performed at numerous retirement homes and raised money for the American Heart Assoc. That was a nice surprise. After party organized by the parents was lots of fun. Attending a graduation party tonight for one of his friends, and otherwise hoping the rest of the weekend is not completely rained out!
That is so, so cool! Kids ask here all the time what they need to do to make their college app stand out; well, It’s things like this. This young man created something unique out of his own special talents and passions. Bravo!
First award ceremony this afternoon, Last part of the school day, so it will be good to leave the office early and start the long weekend. I am so hopeful for my DS20 to be recognized some today. She has been working very hard and is a great student, but has to live in the shadow of her big brother a little bit (his test scores at least). She thinks she has a good shot to win the Spanish 2 award. Send some good vibes our way please!
My D20 said the same thing last night about her older brother . “I will never get the awards …” Of course it’s not true really, and she has talents he likely never will, but still jarring.
Sending good vibes for you all, awards or not.
Sending good vibes here too!
D’s Baccalaureate was Tuesday evening. It was a little disappointing tbh. It’s supposed to be interfaith - and it really was when older D had hers - but this one was not really. Her school is really pretty diverse at least as far as faiths go so it was disappointing that there was little or no representation of some other religions. sigh
D is finished with classes and is at graduation practice as I write. Graduation ceremony is Saturday evening at a very large venue, and then that is it!
Baccalaureate Mass was yesterday and it was beautiful. Picture perfect day and I only shed tears once. Today she had to go back in for a math exam as everyone has to take a math exam even if you have an A. She was done by 10am, ran an errand for me (much to her chagrin) and went straight to the Cape to go to the beach. D20 and I will head down after her tennis match…and hopefully miss the traffic.
Congratulations to all who have made it all the way through to graduation…we will get there eventually :).
On a side note as the college things coming in my daughter took her language placement last week and was placed in beginners Italian (after 4 years of it and a program in Italy). She was not happy and I was a little unhappy myself questioning what she has been learning. Then when we were going over the course selections I saw it said you can take the exam twice. She did it again and aced it. Language requirement is done and if she wants to pursue any more in college she can take a high level conversational course.
@DavidPuddy and @LOUKYDAD I feel your pain. D20 definitely has in her head she will never be her sister not only academically but also in body image…lots of stuff goes on here. Funny thing is D18 looks up to her younger sister in so many ways as she is the “street smart” one and definitely is more hip. It is a delicate line we walk sometimes…and why they go to different schools.
@meddy and @S18D20mom, thanks very much! If this happens next year for our school, it will be because of the great info you guys provided!
To all you American ‘Moms’ and ‘Pops’ - Lucky you!!
Son’s last day of school today but three weeks of exams start after a half-term break. Last one June 19th!! Some serious revising needs to be done before then but in the middle of the half-term break he is heading to London to pick up his US visa!!!
Two months to the day before he heads your way!
We are all soooo excited in this house.
@LOUKYDAD @DavidPuddy @MinnieFan My D20 says the same thing regarding her brother, S18. She says he got all the smart genes. In actuality, she is very smart, above average, but his near perfect test scores and GPA are not within reach for her. We have tried very hard to not make comparisons, but when you go to the same schools and have the same teachers, and brother gets a lot of academic recognition she just feels like she can’t compete. We told her she doesn’t have to. Truth is that she is our more athletic and social child and we try to applaud that. Maybe there was something in the water in 2000.
I’ve re-typed this multiple times because I can’t get out my thought in the way I want to, so maybe you can fill in my gaps.
Anyway, I’ve come to dislike awards and public recognition of achievements.
I don’t think it’s good that some kids are showered in awards and dubbed superstars, and others get nothing. I have step-kids who are one of each and are now adults are are both financially and emotionally successful and good people, but the growing up years were difficult because of this phenomenon.
I’ve also seen some superstars with the moral compass of a gnat, and some kids who get nothing be the guy you want standing next to you in a tough situation.
I’ve also come to feel we put too much importance on external validation.
And that some people turn an award into a judgement of worth. (And kids turn this into no award, no worth).
Our graduation was this week, and although it was nice to see that my D had all of these extra hoods for her gown for various achievements, I was really saddened to see some kids with few hoods or others with none. I know these kids. They achieved. Just not in an area that the school wants to promote (why is music talent less worthy of a hood than math talent?). Or one of the kids who has no special talent at this picture frame point in time, who walked across that stage with no hood. How did that feel when 2/3rds of the class had a hood for something? This is an all-around good kid who’s very steady. Doesn’t that have value? Sometimes I think the awards (or lack thereof) are sending a wrong message of what we really value. Or devalues a kid who has no award.
Sorry for the ineloquent ramble, but hopefully you all get my point. I just hope that those kids that got awards and those that didn’t, don’t let it define them in any way. I hope they go forward every day, doing the best that they personally can do, and being the best person that they can be, regardless of whether anyone sees or not.
Thanks @ShrimpBurrito ! I am pretty sure that service project played a big part in getting him large scholarships at his two top choices. He enjoyed it so much that he is doing another charity musical this summer, with an even bigger cast of his theatre friends and his little brother. He is even thinking of continuing it in college.
@melvin123 , we just have Latin honors and the boys are in tuxedos so no special tassels or caps or what not. Within each Latin honors section the graduation order is alphabetical, not by rank. So those finishing towards the end of the ceremony are not stigmatized as the very last in the class. Agree with you about too much separation by awards. I think it’s nice to have an awards ceremony separate from the graduation.
@melvin123, agree that many who did not earn awards are fine “kids” and it has no reflection on their ability to be successful and/or achieve more,if they apply themselves and work hard in the future. And yes, there are some with many awards who might be arrogant. For some, competition is more important than compassion. It may take some time for arrogant students to see what it feels like to be on the opposite end of achievement.
That being said, those who did go the extra mile, like my son and your daughter, have earned some recognition in my opinion, whether at an awards night, baccalaureate, or by receiving cords they earned through participation in various activities,elected positions in student government, or other organizations.
Hopefully parenting and/or counsel from caring friends, family, and/or clergy can help instill values of self worth that are not based on cords or hoods.
@melvin123 I’m with you on the awards.
@melvin123 – I both agree and disagree with your post. Awards should be thought of as an reward for effort. Some kids actually spent the time and effort to accomplish something. That’s meaningful and should be acknowledged. However, I think that a large chunk of the awards are focused on well-worn tracks. I’d like to see creativity, of all kinds, get more acknowledgement … because I think that’s the most important thing. For example, one of D18’s old friends did her senior and graduation photos (paid, and we used her work in D18’s various graduation cards). That kid has a great eye for photography. I think she’s going to major in photography/journalism. Didn’t see her at the senior awards ceremony last week.
PS. I say this as an adult who, as a kid, barely graduated HS and eventually dropped out of college. Cords, awards, etc. at HS graduation … are you kidding me! I didn’t get them and didn’t deserve them.
@Nomorelurker @droppedit one thing I really like about CC is you’re exposed to a wide variety of opinions. A couple of months ago I got my head handed to me on another thread by a mom who was offended about something I said. It was along the lines of I could understand why a kid who worked their head off and sacrificed their social life in order to get into a top school, could be bummed out to get rejected and end up in their safety schoool, and end up sitting next to their classmate who didn’t do nearly as much work and enjoyed himself. That mom pointed out that her son has a learning disability and works his head off every day, yet never gets the recognition or results, and that it was offensive for me to assume that just because a kid doesn’t achieve top grades that he doesn’t try his best.
At awards day we really aren’t awarding effort, just results, regardless of how easy or hard it was for that student to achieve the result. In fact, the more of a superstar one is, the less effort is needed to achieve. My D received an award this year for a subject that she’s naturally gifted in and comes ridiculously easy to her. That wasn’t the class we were proud of her for. Instead, we were proud of her achievement in a class that she poured herself into and spent tons of time on, and really stretched herself intellectually. She came in 3rd in that class so no award, but for us that’s the class she deserved recognition for, not the othere one.
DS18 is officially a graduate! The ceremony was long but we made it home shortly after 10:00pm. He was required to go directly from the ceremony to the Project Graduation party at the school. Parents are required to pick students up at 4:00AM! We live about a 45 minute drive from school. Because of DS20’s fencing tournament we had to move DS18’s planned graduation dinner to a graduation lunch, so no sleeping in on Saturday, Sunday is church at 9:00am they have have a special service for the 3 kids graduating so we really can’t skip it. Maybe I can sleep in on Monday?
@melvin123, totally agree that sometimes the effort students make is not awarded. It is our job as parents to help our “kids” develop their own sense of accomplishment for efforts made, especially when the course is hard and a top grade is not possible. A high B might very well be an accomplishment given the circumstances. At the same time, schools often recognize students, who in addition to grades, make the extra effort to join clubs, push themselves socially, volunteer in their community, run for elected positions, or put in hours tutoring other students. I see nothing wrong with that.
As far as the students who have learning disabilities and the mom who reamed you, I can see her frustration, because grades are not everything. On the other hand, I wonder how involved that student was in other ways that he/she could contribute. S is one of those kids who worked his tail off in and out of the classroom, and got into or waitlisted at four T25 schools but chose the instate safety (which has gotten harder to gain entry than previous years) with a significant scholarship and Honors. He would have appreciated your validation of similar feelings he initially had about some students who not only appeared to not work as hard as him, but several cheated on a regular basis and will attend the same school in the fall. So you’re right, many perspectives on CC.
@droppedit, they didn’t have cords when I went to HS either. Then again, things are way more competitive today and students must push themselves much harder to stand out. I agree that cords or whatever awards a school may offer, may seem superficial on some levels, yet they can be motivating just as a gold star may have been in elementary school. Self motivation should come internally but sometimes students need an extra push. My concern is that some of the cords/awards are now being treated like soccer trophies where some schools and/or parents feel everyone deserves one just for attendance. Not sure that is the way to go either.
On awards, I find myself thinking too about the kids who I didn’t see get any awards and my heart goes out to them. In my case it is usually for the kids who you know are working really hard and performing at a very high level, but just don’t quite make the cut. Winning a subject award in a school with 1500 kids can be a pretty elusive goal. There were some kids who are ranked in the top 10 who didn’t receive any awards yesterday. In our case yesterday the unfair thing to me is the kid who was close in several classes but just not the overall best.
On the other hand, in our little corner of the world, I wouldn’t want to put a damper on any recognition of academic excellence. People go so overboard on recognizing athletic talent that it is close to worship sometimes. A local park was recently named after a female HS basketball standout. Every kid who goes on to play a college sport at any level has a signing ceremony and article written about them in the local paper. As a balance if nothing else, it doesn’t bother me that we take a minute to recognize a kid who was the top student in a subject.
Competition can be tough but then again it can often bring out the best in a person. I don’t know how you find the perfect balance. But I think not recognizing excellence at all is to discourage it.
My feeling about awards comes from situations where one student wins virtually all the awards. A student like that certainly deserves an award, but I like the idea of spreading the awards around to other deserving students. Meanwhile, in another type of situation I don’t like is when confirmed cheaters wins awards. Sometimes award-giving is very subjective and favorites are simply recognized.