This is a simple thank you. So many wonderful messages of support here! We’re not in “the thick of it” yet and I have already received great advice from many posters here (with special thanks to @carolinamom2boys for suggesting a med check, as that simple doctor’s appointment opened up a whole new avenue, which D19 and I are pursuing now).
I am a big believer in traveling one’s own path for the journey. Our family does a lot of hiking, and we often take our dog along. He’s a beagle (nose to the ground, better to smell every leaf!) so instead of “take time to smell the roses” we talk about “take time to smell the leaves”. So our path takes a little more time but we have a different perspective of the journey.
@carolinamom2boys your son is only a sophomore. In sophomore year my S had just taken the PSAT for the first time. He had finished geometry and had just started Algebra 2. He took it without prep. The scores were pretty average. He took the SAT in January, and even though he didn’t have much time for prep, I expect some increase because of maturity and now being in precalc and Stats 2.
Did your son only take the ACT? I think it’s even faster paced than the SAT.
@mommdc I realize that my son is only a sophomore and there is some improvement expected just by maturing. He has been in a prep class at school as an elective this year. I’m basing my opinion on the type of learner he is and how he’s performed on standardized tests in the past. Even with expected improvements , he’ll probably land in the avg. range which we would be extremely happy with. My older son took both the SAT and ACT and performed much better on the ACT. Although the ACT is faster paced, the reason I think DS19 may actually do better on that test is it has more sections to divide the weighting of his scores. English is not his strong suit, although it is getting better . He’s a science and math kid. It’s very unfortunate that there’s not a history section, because he’s blow that out of the water. Right now we just continue to prepare with I school prep. He will take an SAT prep class late summer early fall. He will start testing the fall of his junior year to allow for time for retakes . Our state requires juniors to take the ACT in the spring, so he’ll be taking both tests . We actually aren’t stressing too much over it , because we are expecting very avg scores which is fine. The schools that he’s targeting aren’t super selective. The one school that he may be shut out of is Clemson, but admissions to Clemson have become crazy competitive recently. He actually has a very positive attitude about it. While Clemson is his first choice school, his response is " Clemson is a great school, but it’s just one of many great schools in SC. CofC looks great too. Have you seen those girls on the Cistern?" He very obviously is not my older son who would run the other way if one of those Cistern girls actually spoke to him . This journey will be very different , but I’m looking forward to the challenges.
I’m so thankful, @carolinamom2boys@Gatormama@OrangeFish@Corinthian that you guys wrote all that. I’ve been feeling insecure – my problem, I know, no fault of this website’s – by all the superstars’ parents worried that their kid only got a 35 on the ACT/only got one internship at NASA etc, while I’m trying to get my sophomore to try to have even a little focus on core courses. It’s so reassuring to know I’m not alone. She is such an absolute PEACH, really a happy and happy go lucky kid, easy to parent in all other respects. I hate to nag and lower the positivity between us but it is what it is.
Those of you with sophomores with ADHD should know that the ACT works better for kids who get extra time (time and a half) than the SAT. My D19 will take the ACT for that reason…also her sister (D17) took the ACT once and got a 32 so I figure it plays up specific strengths. D19 isn’t as strong in any subject as D17, but she’s better at surfing and playing the ukelele. Which standardized test covers “how to be a typical Californian,” again?
@JenJenJenJen If you get extra time. However if you have a kid who gets B’s in high rigor classes that’s not considered below grade or struggling, and unless they are already having accommodations in class (and have been for years) no act or sat extra time.
I will tell you from experience, that the nagging (for the most part) isn’t with the relationship stress. Pick your battles and even then, be willing to be more flexible than you thought you might.
My S19 has ADHD and it has definitely impacted his course selections and the amount of homework he’s willing to take on (he’s medicated during the school day and remembers pretty much everything the teacher says during class, but he’s scattered when doing his HW and rarely studies for more than a few minutes). He’s fortunate that it’s not combined with LDs or other issues, and he seems to be a strong test-taker based on his PSAT results (which is good, because he would probably not be interested in a prep class).
He seems to be maybe turning a corner where he is actually distinguishing between a B+ and an A and seeing the value of at trying to get at least an A-. We’ll see if he can carry that over to next year as he finally takes on a more challenging courseload (he’s had just two honors classes in 9th and two in 10th). His friends are not the kids who are on track to take 12 APs, but most of them are taking 3 to 4 next year. He’s planning on scheduling as many 3, but has not succumbed to peer pressure to continue French to the AP level.
He also asked me out of the blue this weekend " What do engineers even do anyway?" (I had to direct him to the CollegeBoard Big Future website for a coherent answer, haha). He also spent some time looking at what classes math and physics majors have to take in college, so maybe he’s starting to actually think about these things.
@eh1234 I’d be a bit leery of 3 AP’s based on what you describe. The homework load for many AP’s is quite high. It will vary by AP but if there are issues doing homework and more than 15 min at a time, 3 could really put a kid over the edge.
Both S17 and S19 have ADHD. In S17’s case, he had 2 honors in 9th, 1 honors and 1AP in 10th. We do not have honors math but his track would have been considered honors at many schools. Both years he struggled and it was AP World that actually pushed him over the edge and into an ADHD diagnoses. Meds have helped but as you know, they do wear off. Junior year was 2 AP’s and PreCalc plus Spanish 3. It was a rough year. Hard on all of us. He did ok and it was the right line up but it was not easy and really required massive effort on his part to stay on top of things and do ok.
Senior year he attempted (his choice) 3 AP’s. It was one too many and more specifically the subject (for him) was too much. So now we find ourselves notifying colleges that he is not continuing in AP Calculus AB for 2nd semester. He survived with a B- first semester but had zero confidence in passing second and the stress it caused my child was absolutely not worth it, regardless of any gpa impact. He didn’t need calc to graduate or for entry at any of his schools. Sadly, our school left him with AP Stats or AP Calc for a math option and he felt that it was expected he take calc and never questioned it. He may have to take it in college, he may not but I wish that we’d done a better job of letting him know it was ok not to take or that stats might be the better choice. Part of the reason for the drop was that he was literally spending 4+hours a day just on calc. When your kid can’t focus and the homework is that hard for them, what might take another kid 1 or 2 or even 3, can easily become 4-6. It ate up so much time it was impacting his other AP’s.
S19 is a bit of a different animal though definitely pulls a mix of A’s and B’s based on turning in homework and focus. He has 2 honors, AP World and PreCalc this year. All of which are fine, it’s french 4 that’s the disaster, But that disaster caused him to derail a bit in precalc and honors chem and not turn a few things in at the end that impacted the gpa. It is an organization issue, and an interest issue. Meds wearing off doesn’t help so we’ve given him the option of a short term afternoon medication on days where the load is heavy and he may need it.
At any rate, you know your child. But I would counsel you to really support a balanced option. Kids want to push themselves and to an extent keep up with their peers. But I can tell you from personal experience, it’s not fun when it really really becomes clear they have bitten off more than they could chew.
@eandesmom I completely agree that the pace and rigor of AP classes can be a tipping point . My son has AP World right now and easily spends 2 -3 hrs on homework for that class. Many classes require extensive reading which is difficult for student with attention difficulties . My DS16 took 1 AP sophomore year, 2 his junior year, and 5 his senior year. He watched high ranking peers tank their GPAs in their Junior year by overextending . Junior year is thought by many to be the most important year academically for college admissions . It is hard to know what to do, but for our family we sat down together and really assessed all of the possibilities and outcomes well before it was time to schedule for next year. It’s important to me for my son to be adequately challenged without being overwhelmed. Good luck .
@eh1234 I wouldn’t worry too much right now about what curriculums look like in college as what they want to do know, think they want in junior year, want at the start of senior and want once the acceptances start to roll in can vary widely.
Part of it does shake out with classes taken at the HS level and what “clicks” as it goes, but not all, and not liking one class in HS does not mean it won’t be successful in college.
I have mixed feelings about junior year classes for S19. He’s decided to run for an office which, if he wins, would mean taking year long leadership class. At the expense of an academic class. I think his chances are uber slim but I support it. It might be a very good thing versus an aggressive load of his choosing so it will be interesting to see how it plays out.
Thanks for the advice, @eandesmom and @carolinamom2boys. My son didn’t even consider taking AP World and has decided against APUSH due to the homework load. He wants to take AP Lang and AP Physics 1, mainly because he wants to work on his writing (much needed) and he is actually interested in physics. (His focus on math-based homework is much better than it is in other subjects so I’m not too worried about this one). My understanding of AP Lang is that it’s not focused on literary analysis, which is what S19 really dislikes. I get the sense that the reading workload may not be unmanageable for him, but I might be wrong.
He’s getting good grades this year, but he’s not really challenged at all, so we definitely need to find the right balance. I’d like him to have a chance of getting into our state’s third best public school, so he needs to pull his GPA up to a weighted 4.0 and be somewhat competitive rigor-wise with the 160 other kids who typically apply there (basically, the top third of the class).
He wants to take AP Psych as an elective, but I would prefer that he just stick with two APs. He can’t seem to identify another elective that he wants to take even though the school offers many choices. I’d rather he just take an art class and stick with five academic classes (which is what he’s had so far since he has PE and orchestra)
D16 (whose issue was anxiety and not ADHD), actually dropped more AP classes than she completed, so I do know the drill there. She finished HS with two, but S19 is a different kid and I think he’s capable of doing more if we find the right mix of classes for him.
When we get home from vacation next week we need to start finalizing son19 junior year schedule. He’s in all honors classes right now for last 2 years, and has done great with that work load so far. Junior year is really busy for the kids. Need to find a balance of # of AP classes to take and which ones. He wants to study mechanical engineering in college. I’m leaning to a Ap science and an easier Ap class of some sort. I don’t think he has the time or interest in taking 3-4 Ap classes junior year, might be too much. I want him to keep his grades up, study for ACT, and have some time to enjoy himself too. Tough balance.
S19 is our oldest so this is our first go-around with a junior year schedule. Most of the honors classes at our high school evolve into AP by junior year (English 2 H soph year, AP Lang junior year - PreCalc H soph year, AP Calc AB or Bc junior year, Chem H usually leads to AP Physics I). Our son came to us with the following picks:
AP Calc BC
AP Lang
APUSH
AP Physics I
French 4 Honors
Honors Portfolio (art)
We said no way. He pushed back saying most of the kids he knows in his honors classes are taking these four APs next year. There’s lots of pressure to keep up.
First, I talked to him about how he HATES AP Comp Sci this year. He’s already decided he’s not interested in Engineering or Comp Sci so he does not need BC Calc. It took a couple of weeks (and a talk with his guidance counselor) to convince him that he should just take AB. I know he can get a good grade in there with less stress and then take AP Stats senior year. All of the majors he’s considering do not require calc in college but all require a series of stats classes.
We also kicked AP Physics to the curb. He hasn’t had a chance to take Earth Science Honors yet and he’s interested in the environment. It’s still an honors class but not the monster that AP Physics is. He can still take AP Physics senior year. It just means he probably won’t have room for AP Bio or AP Chem but that’s ok. If he absolutely loves Earth Science, then he may bag Physics completely and take AP Environmental Science. His counselor insists that it’s ok to skip Physics knowing his interests (which now include English, Writing, Poli Sci/History, Art, Econ, and maybe Environmental Science or Studies).
We’re much more comfortable with the final schedule. Well I am. S19 called me from school last week and said, “I really think I should take BC Calc. I don’t want to be with a bunch of dummies in AB.” He never talks like that. And he’s just getting that info from his classmates who are egging him on. He said that the teacher told him again that he she recommends him for BC. Tough luck. The math teacher isn’t looking at his whole schedule and AP Lang and APUSH are a ton of reading and writing. She also doesn’t know that he’s a year round XC/Track runner who doesn’t get home until 6:00 each day. This schedule is staying!
D19 would like to take AP Psych but has been cautioned by friends who are in the class now to wait until Senior year. So she plans to take AP Psych and AP Computer Science Principles then (she is a whiz with computers/technology).
We have also learned from experience (as others here have) the balancing act is so crucial, especially for kids with ADHD. This year she dropped from an honors math class to regular Algebra 2 because she was spending hours on the homework, even supplemented with a tutor, and with a booster med most every day. Grades in her other subjects were dropping as she was throwing everything into math. It wasn’t healthy for her and exacerbated her anxiety to boot.
So junior year classes are going with her strengths, no matter what Everyone Else is doing. (We are in a highly competitive and overly large school district, so this takes sume gumption.) Yes, it is three AP classes, but Studio Art she adores anyway, AP Environmental Science is the least-math-intensive of the science options, and AP Human Geography sounds very interesting to her. She did NOT want to take APUSH as she was afraid of the load.
She isn’t quite set on a major yet but she seems to be gravitating towards either theater tech/design or communications technology (digital photography/video), and neither of these areas require the math intensity of enginnering-type majors, so we’re hoping she can make up for the lower GPA through standardized testing (and she should qualify for extra time on the ACT) and through a strong portfolio.
Of course I know next-to-nothing about portfolios so I am learning as we go.
My older son did not take any APs until senior year, Ap stats and Ap gov, and I don’t think it’s hurting his chances at getting into the schools he applied to. He did not have any interest in science,English,language AP classes so he just didn’t take any. He kept his grades up junior year so his GPA went up and got involved in some extra curricular stuff he wanted to try. He didn’t apply to any top 30 ranked schools thought, he would not be competitive there. I’m glad we took that route with him. It’s worked out fine.
I need find a couple of easier AP clssses for son19 to take junior and senior year that don’t require a ton of writing/papers. I dont think he has time or interest.
I realize even daring to think this is kind of breaking CC norms, but I’ll ask it anyway: Why do students’ high school transcripts need to be overstuffed with “academic” (note the scare quotes!) courses, really? I mean, there’s the need for an academic core, sure, but what in the world could be wrong with having a handful of enrichment (for lack of a better term) courses, if they’re the sort of thing that will both help a high school student learn something useful and be something said student finds fulfilling?
My D16 took AP Psych and found the workload very manageable (but like most APs in our school, the workload varies greatly depending on which teacher you get). It was less work than her honors U.S. government class.
If I could choose my son’s schedule for him, he would take honors level English and US History, AP Physics, AP Computer Science Principles, STEM Engineering (which is weighted .5), graphic art and orchestra. But then he wouldn’t have any classes with his girlfriend and apparently that’s not an option.
The guidance office has the students complete surveys to identify potential interests and strengths and his result always points him towards computer science careers. I can’t even get him to read the course description for AP Comp. Sci!