@carolinamom2boys maybe one just needs to know their child well. I could totally see our S19 getting all competitive with his classmates around super selective school admissions. I already see it heating up. I’m afraid he will soon be asking why he’s not applying to some of the more popular selective schools that his friends are interested in. I don’t think he’s the kind of kid who could just throw their name in the hat to see if he gets accepted. He would really care about it. So, bottom line is that I’d like to avoid that scenario. We haven’t really discussed how so many high stats kids get turned down at schools where they could of course do well. Just not enough spots. I think he will agree that it’s not worth getting on that roller coaster even though I’m guessing almost all of his friends will.
I think a lot of the problem is too much focus is on competing against others and the prestige. I hear lots of shade thrown by parents just in casual conversation with each other regarding their kid’s gpa/scores/rank/colleges and the motivation for the type of unsolicited advice that is given. I also see a lot of this on CC. Then I hear students mimicking their parents in conversations with teachers/counselors/peers. It is difficult to keep kids grounded when the parents are the problem. Regarding my kids, they have visited various colleges. I have a better idea of the kind of school my kids prefer. My kids have a better understanding of what it takes to get there. Thats about it. We were very focused with my D14 and the few schools she applied to. Part of that success was simply focusing on what was best for her and disregarding the hype around us. She then had to choose 1 amongst her favorites. It was a win win for all of us.
We have one academic reach that, assuming test scores come out as hoped for, we will likely visit. It’s less than two hours away and naviance data makes it look like a better chance than a lottery ticket. If d19 applies to any other super reaches, she won’t be telling any friends/family about it unless she were to be accepted and we wouldn’t visit unless that happens either.
@carolinamom2boys I like your older son’s attitude. My S could end up with pretty high stats (or not - too soon to tell), but he doesn’t have a competitive bone in his body. I doubt he’ll apply anywhere with a less than a 40 or 50% admission rate. (Which is fine, because I can’t actually afford the $67K EFC that FAFSA spit out last year).
He’s never going to have an out of reach dream school. The challenge with him will be getting him sufficiently engaged in the process to try to find a good fit. I’m concerned that he will just apply to a few schools with fairly easy admissions at random and then flip a coin to make his final selection.
Ugh. Looking for advice. Just took a full test, which S19 hasn’t done in one sitting in four weeks, and his scores went down each section 30 points. He’s upset. I tried to tell him that’s why we are doing full tests for the next two weekends so he can get used to getting up and focusing for the whole time. Reading is the first section and went poorly, but writing was good. He took the non-calc section of math and got three wrong when he’s never gotten any wrong. After that, he came out of the quiet room upset. He knew reading didn’t go well and thought it was now affecting the rest of the test. He went back to do the calc section and it went as planned. Not too bad.
He thinks he needs to study more but I feel like he’s been studying a ton. He was finally close to his score goals when taking sections of practice tests. I told him the only way to get used to full tests is to take them. It sucks but I think that’s true. I’m hoping that he can learn from today- not stress out from it. I don’t think it’s a content issue at this point and I’m not really sure what to say to him. He wants to keep studying for the next two weeks but I’m wondering if it’s best to take a break. I certainly don’t want a bad practice test to happen one week before the test.
@homerdog I understand your concern about a bad pract test right before taking the real thing. It’s important that he feel successful entering the test. It also sounds like he is a littled burned out. Personally, I would give him a couple of days. Then have him redo the questions he missed. Chances are he will get them correct the second time. Which will help his confidence and confirm there is not a content issue. My other suggestion would be to help lead your son toward a growth mindset (practice to learn not to demonstrate perfection). It is normal to have ups and downs when learning for mastery. Hope this helps 
@4MyKidz Thank you. I agree. It’s about the learning and he understands about the mindset thing. We are home now and he wants to re-review all of the problems he’s gotten wrong this summer now. It’s a beautiful day, though, and I told him to go outside. Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain and he can spend a little time reviewing. I also explained that the curve is different on every test and you can’t control that. We have no idea how the questions on the real sitting will feel to him. Plus, he’s just a junior. Plenty of time to re-take. Even if he can score a good score on one section, that would be terrific. All of the colleges on his list superscore. He can re-take the test anytime in the next year and focus on the other section. He’s just a little shell shocked.
@homerdog It doesn’t sound like a knowledge problem , but a test taking strategy ( maybe time management) problem. He may be thinking too hard or second guessing himself . I agree a break may be in order .
@carolinamom2boys yes, it was a strategy thing. On the math, he spent five minutes on one problem. He knows better than to do that. Said he couldn’t help himself. If he learned anything from today, it’s to skip it and get the rest of the problems correct. One wrong is different than three wrong. Also, I woke him up early to take it and he had a hard time getting up. Starting testing after breakfast and only 40 min after getting up. Possibly that’s the reason that reading didn’t go well. By the time he takes the test, he will have one and a half weeks of school under his belt and will be back to having to focus in the early morning.
Right now, he’s playing at the park with our dog.
@eh1234 Thank you. I agree that people get caught up in prestige . When my son chose his school, one of the other parents Had the nerve to say " One goes to Charleston for a vacation, not an education " She consistently neglected to mention that he was attending the Honors College or that he had been accepted at the very same schools her son has been accepted to , in addition to ones he had not, and that he chose his school based on his understanding of fit and opportunities over the one her son chose to attend . It’s exhausting sometimes. I am thankful for my pleasantly average, easy going DS19 because he doesn’t threaten anyone’s rank so he should not be open to the same scrutiny or criticism
@carolinamom2boys, sorry that happened to you!
@carolinamom2boys I agree with @apraxiamom Who says that to someone? People should keep their silly opinions to themselves.
I don’t worry too much . My kid is thriving .where he is and loves it.
and… we have a list and a spreadsheet! S19 brought up college a LOT on vacation so I knuckled down and made him a starter list so he can then go dig on his own.
General parameters were urban (or suburban close to urban or cool town) and 40 or under after merit, nothing warm, close to water a plus (river, lake, ocean). I based the list on an UW 3.5 and a 30 ACT. He has high rigor and the poor grades that tanked the gpa are not on his areas of interest. We shall see how accurate that ends up being, it is hopefully conservative.
Areas of interest are computer science, physics, math, chemistry, business, writing, philosophy and screen writing lol.
He has reviewed it and likes it as a starting point. 28 schools, 21 come in under 40k and the 7 that do not either don’t include merit in their NPC or we know of good results at similar stats, or the CDS indicates it may be worth attempting. My work is done for a while. LOL
Safety 9
Satefy / Low Match 1
Match 6
Match/ Low Reach 4
Reach 5
High Reach 3
Loosely organized by chances
Western Washington University
SUNY Plattsburgh
Pacific Lutheran University
San Jose State
Ursinus
Colorado State
University at Albany
Seattle Pacific University
Seattle University
Drexel
Washington & Jefferson College
University of Minnesota, Twin Cities
University at Buffalo
University of Portland
Muhlenberg College
Michigan State
Lawrence University
Fordham University
Rochester Institute of Technology
Santa Clara University
University of Washington-Seattle Campus
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
SUNY at Binghamton
Case Western
Stony Brook
Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Skidmore College
Villanova
^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^
=D> =D> =D>
With DS17, I started with around 20 (from about 45) and then he applied to 7.
So around 20 sounds like a good number to start with.
I have not started a list yet (will make one in Spring) but have a google folder.
In the folder, there are a spreadsheet for his testing schedule and a google map for college visits … with dots of 29 colleges. So I guess we have a list :))
lol, S11 and D14 only applied to 1. S17 to 7. It will be interesting to see where S19 ends up. I’m expecting 7-9 so that we can compare offers. Currently thinking we may do some local fall events if they make sense and then a NCal trip for mid winter or spring break. Schools in the east will likely not be visited until after acceptances.
@eandesmom wow! I’m curious how quickly the list will whittle down and how those decisions will be made!
We have a list. Based on S19’s GPA remaining the same and his SAT practice tests being indicative of his actual score.
Safeties
Beloit
Denison
Dickinson
University of Vermont
Matches
University of Richmond
University of Wisconsin
Wake Forest
High matches
Kenyon
Grinnell
Macalester
Reaches
Carleton
Middlebury
Davidson
Not even sure if he would apply to the reaches. Carleton and Midd give no merit and Davidson’s is a long shot. We will need to evaluate as we visit schools. Wisconsin, Beloit, Kenyon, Denison have been visited and are definitely on the list. We will see Grinnell, Davidson, Richmond, Wake, Macalester, and Carleton before apps are due and will make definite decisions on those based on the visits. We won’t get to Vermont, Midd, or Dickinson but they are on the list for now. Each have strong environmental studies programs and S19 thinking that would interest him. Vermont’s honors college looks pretty amazing. Middlebury is obviously a stretch for anyone but we have friends who have gone there and know two current students there who love it. Dickinson is a little random but S19 leaning towards LACs and they give merit and everything about the school seems appealing.
Just set up the fall schedule of campus visits, looking forward to this journey with my final child. We are staying pretty local due to time and money constraints but she should be able to get a good feel for campus type, community and academics from all the ones we are seeing.
Add one more school to the definitely apply list - University of Rhode Island. We did the let’s-find-someone-in-the-theatre-dept approach instead of the Guided Tour. It was wonderful! Great campus and lots of great space for theatre facilities.
@eandesmom Your coast-to-coast list makes me very glad that my S19 wants to stay on the East Coast and maybe venture as far west as Ohio.
I have to say I’m intrigued by Univ. of Vermont now that S has stated that a short, direct flight to “somewhere” would be acceptable. ($115 DCA to Burlington!). D16 was interested, but didn’t think she would qualify for enough merit money there. Might be a good fit for my laid-back, snowboarding kid and it looks like a good bet for a potential music minor. I’m putting it on the mental list. I’ll have to see what the school’s strengths are beyond environmental majors and business.
@homerdog That’s a great list! I’ll probably take S19 to one LAC, but once he finds out they would want him to take more foreign language, I’m sure he would reject the whole concept.