@homerdog, yeah, I figured the Harvard email was about affordability because I also received a Harvard affordability email yesterday.
Not sure where they got our information. They could have gotten it from a college fair we went to. In that case, they have no idea what our financial information is like or even what school she goes to. But they could have gotten that information from College Board when she filled out the PSAT/SAT info.
And yet, noone on this thread is dealing with a child consumed with a prom dress??? Currently standing at 15 dresses tried on, 3 trips to the special prom boutique megastore, 2 trips to the not-as-special prom megastore, 2 online purchases (returned)ā¦and now sheās contemplating a long dress that would require alterations to be short (jr is short dresses, and senior reserves the long dresses).
If you donāt want to call a school a safety, call it a defensive back. (Yes, a bad attempt at football humor).
Nah, no prom stress, I have a boy. He has not asked a date yet, but Iām assuming he will. If he doesnāt, thatās fine too, certainly not pushing him to go. Whatever he wants. Itās pretty easy with boys, walk into Menās Wearhouse, get fitted for tux, pay, walk out. Oder some flowers. Give the kid some cash. Done.
Son17 doesnāt have a girlfriend, no time. So, heās going to find some way to convince a girl to go with him. Heās picky though, so he might not pull it off, ha.
Good luck to those of you with daughterās or sonās struggling with this 
^ Lucky! Boys are simple. This dd is into sparkle so itās crazy. And crazy expensive. Sheās going to be a trip when it comes to wedding dresses - I already see that. And no boyfriend but the dressā¦so important.
@ninakatarina, this totally resonates for me:
āThere is just such a mountain of work and decisions ahead! I have the time now so I feel like I ought to be doing something more. So my thinking self and feeling self are at war. I do my best not to dump that on kiddo too often.ā
If I label a school a āreachā, D loses interest due to intimidation, so I need to be careful. I try to keep categorizing to myself and discuss it with DH (who plays optimist while I play pessimist). With D, weāve talked about finding five or six schools that would be really good matches for her. Schools where she would find her place, and academics would be challenging but in an inspiring way, not an only-robots-can-achieve way.
If she likes one enough to commit early, weāll visit it again and she can do an overnight and think about ED.
If you have a Plan B, and you know exactly what you need to do to apply elsewhere, is there enough time to do it between finding out about ED and RD deadlines? Or do you need to have the rest of your applications ready to go?
I agree with @momtogkc that we need a new word for safeties. Maybe Iāll try calling them the āGoldilocks Schoolsā.
@RightCoaster Perfect - donāt know why I couldnāt think of that! :)) @ninakatarina Iām hoping by the time we find some schools D likes there will be at least 1 or 2 that have rolling or EA!!
@amandakayak Prom is only for seniors at our school and as far as D knows no seniors will be asking her. But knowing how hard it has been to even find a simple dress for homecoming every year I am sure prom dress shopping will be a months long event next year!
@BorgityBorg I try to be very honest with D about the possibilities of certain schools. Of course I am new to this so I donāt know a ton, but I let her know about what I read on here all the time. I read the 2018 thread and see so many of the high stats kids getting rejected from schools that seemed like matches and I tell her about what I am finding. I donāt want to stress her out but I want her to be realistic and make sure she understands the need for the safeties. Also, once in a while she will ask about a school out of the blue and I try to let her know about it right away. Like the other day she asked about Columbia and I didnāt want to sugar coat it - just told her its an Ivy and would be a super reach both academically and financially!
@gusmahler Haha - I like football humor but it might be too soon. DH and I just got back from the Super Bowl and I am a Patriots fan. 
Someone on CC suggested the book ā8 First Choicesā. I read it and Iām giving it to S19 to read over spring break. I highly recommend it.
@amandakayak my kid is planning on making a tux (and his date a dress) for next yearās prom out of duct tape. Itās for a scholarship he found. Heās enchanted with the idea, he has sketches done already.
He already asked someone to be his next yearās date as a friend, because he wants to start working with her measurements. Date is the reigning queen of tech theatre prop construction so together they should come up with something architecturally brilliant.
Look up Stuckatprom.com for previous yearās winners, itās a hoot.
Not many juniors go to prom here. Not sure what will happen next year. He and his friends have seriously no time for girls. Iām sure they talk to them at school but none of them date. :))
Either all of his friends will find girls next year to goā¦or none of them will. This XC/track group acts with a herd mentality.
I agree that likely works better than safety for some kids. I think my d like theā¦ feeling of safety!.. she gets with the safety term. She tends to view it more as comforting rather than something beneath her.
I think when we talk about it in person, we are more likely to refer to it being a āfor sureā school. Itās just in a list or typed conversation that it would be a safety/likely.
@amandakayak we havenāt even begun to look at dresses. Well, weāve looked online a little. We just donāt buy stuff online that we havenāt tried in person first. We havenāt had time to shop in stores since just before Christmas. I sort of want to just go for it and order a dress she liked that I saw online but itās just not how we do things. So, who knows what will happen.
Is prom coming up in some parts of the country? Itās in May here. Itās for juniors and seniors but I donāt know if S will go. He has had homecoming dates, but has not actually attended the dance either time (they dress up and go to Georgetown instead). I think only freshman and kids who are overflowing with school spirit go to homecoming.
My D16 went to senior prom after trying on one dress and buying that dress about 48 hours before the event. She was challenging in a lot of ways, but not when it came to dress shopping!
Jumping in late , but DS19 is very invested in the college search . Weāve visited 3 schools so far and visiting another next week and one over Spring Break. We are targeting all instate schools with the exception of one because of state scholarships that he is eligible for . He will be taking the ACT this month and SAT again next month. He has no reach schools except one financial reach. He is not looking for prestige, just an easy going child who could pretty much be happy anywhere.Heās enjoying his Jr year with little to no stress.
@momtogkc I agree on the āreaches will be full payā. My husband and I have talked a bit about which schools we would be willing to let S19 apply to that will cost us full price. My thought process goes something like this - what if heās turned down by all of his matches that might give him merit or if they accept him and give him no merit? Then, he would be left with āsafetiesā (for lack of a better term) and full-price matches. If that happens, then we should have just let him apply to the reaches since they will then cost us the same as the matches and maybe we would think they are more worth it in the final analysis.
We have been very clear with S19 about which schools give no merit, which schools are matches that might give him merit, and how much the safeties would cost with the likely merit they would give. We told him that money wonāt be the only deciding factor but, if he ends up with schools that he thinks are pretty even in his mind when it comes to everything else, money could be the tie-breaker. We are fortunate to be able to pay full price but would prefer not to spend that much and have money for grad school if he ever wants it.
Yeah - prom is early May - but thereās a FB group for girls to post their dresses (so noone dares to buy the same one) and that started right after New Years. I know. And prom is not just for those with dates here, singles go - both guys and girls. Dd just came whizzing through to get me to sign her up for the AP tests this spring - whee that was a quick $500. Sheās trying to figure her classes for next yr - which will end up being another six APs if she gets her way. Iām trying to get her to drop one and take something more fun but sheās very focused on boosting the gpa which only APs will give her. I think itās overkill myself and would gladly opt out and take a cooking or photography class. Would you believe our HS is now offering a āsmartphone photographyā class? Interesting right?
I have enjoyed following everyoneās posts - seems like all of you have the college planning dialed in! I have learned so much just from this thread alone!
@carolinamom2boys same for my S19. Only reach schools are financial reaches ā merit unpredictable but worth a shot. High stats but feeling no pressure because he is not interested in any elite schools - so no subject tests or testing with essay to worry about. He is just looking for a large OOS public with a decent to good engineering program (and merit $.) He will be happy wherever he lands. Now S20 may kick my butt so I will enjoy the low-stress life while I can.
@mountainmomof3 You may want to add Clemson to your list .
@momtogkc - we are also in the same boat. Reaches are solely financial reaches. Academic reaches - why bother? We couldnāt afford the EFC.
Prom is in April here, but the school my D19 goes to (a smallish Kā12 public school) isnāt big into those sorts of thingsāmy D17 bought her dress for prom her senior year three or so days ahead, and people were kind of blown away that sheād gone to the trouble bought something special for the occasion. I figure Iāll know whether D19ās going at the deadline for buying tickets (which I think is the beginning of April).