Parents of the HS Class of 2019 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
7621

What do you all think of this list of schools for a white female, 1280 SAT, 4.0 UW GPA, 5 APs,4 yr school newspaper, 4 yrs Youth in Government, 3 yrs JV tennis (yes, just JV), one honorable mention in a national writing contest:

Harvard, Brown, Grinnell, Pomona, Oberlin

And that’s it.

Crazy list, right? That was me, circa 1992. I didn’t pull off the Ivy Leagues, but I was accepted with generous financial aid to the three LACs, and chose Pomona. I spent exactly 0 minutes worrying I wouldn’t get in anywhere, saw no need to add an in-state “safety” school because the three LACs were basically my safeties, and I got zero hesitating input from anyone. Friends with lower or comparable stats and ECs were accepted to BU, USC, Dartmouth, and Northwestern. Pomona not only accepted me, they accepted my friend from my school, a non-distinct public high school in suburban Denver of about 2,000 students.

At the time, the sticker price at Pomona was in the low $20K’s.

What a difference a generation makes! (What’s in store for our grandchildren?! Million dollar degrees?)

The steep differences in the college admissions experience from the 1980s-1990s to now means we are getting a lot of seriously outdated input/opinions/expectations, and it’s getting tiresome trying to educate people. My husband’s family is very accomplished and includes grads from Harvard, USC, Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, MIT, Notre Dame, and Boston College, and they still exist in a culture in which schools like Santa Clara, UC Davis, Occidental and Loyola Marymount are considered humble safety schools. Well guess what…those schools are among my D’s top choices, and we’ll be VERY pleased if she is admitted to some or all.

Anyway…just a bit of a rant. :slight_smile: These are interesting times…

7622

@SDCounty3Mom Even by today’s standards, your stats (with some improved SAT) are still pretty good for the 3 LAC schools. Hope your prediction of million-dollar-degrees does not come true.

7623

@SDCounty3Mom, I assume you should add 100 points to your SAT due to the re-centering they did in 1995! I agree that the difference in one generation is staggering.

We were at Vassar this weekend, and I would absolutely love to go there :wink: . I didn’t visit back in the day, so I had never seen the campus and was spellbound. Of course, the weather was perfect, the daffodils were blooming, and there were students everywhere doing some of my favorite stuff–lounging on the grass with friends, hula-hooping, jogging, reading, making music, and tap dancing.

Not sure about D19–I know she liked it. But she’s very quiet about her list. I think it’s hard because she knows wonderful kids who got denied from a lot of schools this year and it’s intimidating/stressful. “Announcing” your choice is a big deal at her high school. It’s been going on all month, and is a stressful process to be around, let alone be in.

7624

Re Tulane - this whole ED thing is getting ridiculous. Actually, it’s the college rankings and the games people play. I wouldn’t be surprised if my kid ends up doing a gap year.

7625

@bjscheel DS19 just finished The Great Gatsby but he’s in Honors English , not AP. His teacher also teaches AP English literature and I’ve often wondered if she duplicates a lot of the work.

7626

@Trixy34 how will taking a gap year change anything? I don’t anticipate that the process will improve any, most likely will get worse. It’s gotten so much more competitive in just the three years since my last son went through it.

7627

Tulane offers EA (non binding) which my son plans to take advantage of. And as long as people continue to utilize EA and ED they will not go away.
Got home and son opened his ACT score. Wasn’t too surprised with his composite score - 30. He was happy with the score and his latest SAT is better I believe so he’s done.

7628

D19 and Ms. Borgity went to Portland, OR for the day Friday (thanks to mother-in-law’s generosity) to check out Reed. When my wife asked our daughter how she liked Reed, she (my wife) said D19 kind of “lit up” when she said she liked it. That would be a first. I mean, I think she likes many of the other schools she’s visited, but this seemed to be the most enthusiastic response. I don’t know if that’s because she’s getting better about asking the right questions, or if she’s warming up to the college search, or it’s something Reed-specific (she was enthusiastic about the idea of operating the student-run nuclear reactor, and getting paid for it), but I’ll take the enthusiasm. It does make me wonder whether she would increase her opinion of the Minnesota schools she visited early on – Carleton, for example, has a lot of similarities. (Except for the nuclear reactor.) But. Enthusiasm! I’ll take it. :slight_smile:

I’m also reminded of just how variable the process it is. After spending some time at Powell’s (natch), they went early to Reed to get some lunch. They checked in at admissions with some student, got some lunch, then came back, and checked in with another student… who then proceeded to 1) offer them lunch vouchers, and 2) mention that there was a group of current students meeting with prospective students. Now, we are not going to make the decision to attend a school based on whether or not we had to pay for lunch. (Seriously, we flew up there for the day. We can afford the $7/person lunch.) And my daughter decided she would just hang out before the info session. But these breakdowns in procedures just kill me. (And given how much difficulty Reed seemed to have getting out admissions decisions this year, it’s not exactly filling me with confidence.)

7629

As for the work experience question, D19 has a small job of a couple hours per week. She occasionally babysits. If she doesn’t get a summer program this summer, she’ll either find a summer research position or some other job. We’re lucky that she doesn’t need to take a job for financial reasons. We just think it’s an important part of time management/life skills.

I’ve always viewed the “work experience” component simply as the colleges trying to make sure that they don’t penalize the person who worked 20 hours a week to help their family and so couldn’t run up a bunch of extracurricular activities like someone who is living in a family without those challenges. I don’t think our D19’s work necessarily helps much at all with her application, but since I expect she’ll take a job as part of her aid package, learning how to get to and from a job on time is a useful skill to have developed heading into college.

7630

@carolinamom2boys Thanks for the SC info! We’ll add Wofford to the list.

7631

@3SailAway - Glad you had a nice day to visit Vassar! I know the weather has been rough lately so it’s great you hit it at the right time. I’ve been glad to hear about all the fun events and activities that go on there. My D is in her first play there this weekend. They are doing a condensed version of Legally Blonde the Musical, which she did in high school. It sounds hilarious because they all switch parts and costumes for each song. I hear you about wanting to go back to college!

7632

@carolinamom2boys I’ve been reading about how the classes of 2018 and 2019 are larger than other years because of the mini baby boom in year 2000 because it was the Year of the Metal Dragon and also because 2000 is a nice round number. If a kid graduating in 2019 takes a gap year and does something meaningful, they would be competing against a (very slightly) smaller cohort for spaces and a good gap year experience will have made them more “marketable”.

7633

Can someone please explain ginormous universities to me? I am so intimidated by Penn State main campus. S19 is not. But when I ask him what it is about PSU main that he likes so much (he went there on a field trip a few weeks ago), all he says is “I just like it.”

I attended a small (at the time, it is mid-sized now) Jesuit college with no football team and no greek life. This was intentional. I wanted a small school. Large universities intimidated me back in the 1980s too. LOL! I remember pulling up to the University of Delaware, seeing how big it was, and refusing to even get out of the car. It just seemed so overwhelming.

I’m opting to freak out about this here instead of with S19. He isn’t me. Other than PSU, though, every other school he likes is a small LAC. And there is a significant difference between schools with 2,000 students and one with 40,000. He acknowledges that PSU is a total outlier. And I’m not sure how to facilitate a discussion on how PSU is different from the small LACs.

I’m going to schedule a PSU tour this summer and bring S19 and S21. I’ve never been there. So visiting might help. But if anyone can talk me down with some tales of how awesome being an English/writing major can be at a ginormous university, I’d appreciate any and all wise words. :slight_smile:

7634

Similar boat here @InfiniteWaves. D19 might not have ruled out small colleges but they don’t have her major. She doesn’t seem fazed at all by pretty big campuses. I went to a very small Franciscan University and I remember that it was something I really wanted. One difference though is my high school was a very small rural high school, so for me, my college was pretty big because of my perspective. My kids go to a much larger middle/high school that I did (4x the size) and that may be a part of it.

So we’ve toured 2 colleges and d19 has been on campus for school events at 3 others. Her favorite was the biggest. She liked the extra options for majors and activities, and just the busy-ness. My kids are both introverts (I lean extrovert) and they like that they can choose to blend into the background at a larger school more if they choose. They like that they don’t have to see the same faces over and over all day, year after year. I think I needed that quick connection to others that happens easier at a smaller school. My kids like that they can take their time and won’t be forced to connect to people until they are ready.

7635

@InfiniteWaves Not sure if I can talk you down but I’m right there with you. S19, who so far has only shown interest in LACs, now wants to look at USC. He’s been to Wisconsin, Michigan, and Illinois and says “no way, too big”. So, big with palm trees is now the flavor of the day over here? I was on the USC website for hours last night trying to figure out how it could work for him. I think you’re correct, though, that touring is the only way to really get a grasp. And reach out to people who know PSU well and ask your questions.

Before now, it didn’t make sense to me that kids would have tiny schools and big schools on their list. I think that S19 has certain things he likes about LACs and maybe some things he does not. So, the bigger schools give him some of those things but then might lack in his other preferences. He’s not ready yet but he will need to prioritize his needs and wants. I feel like we had a concise list but recently he’s asked to add UNC, Vanderbilt, and USC. So now that means he’s open to CA and he’ll need to see if there are any other schools out there that he might like. I’m not thrilled that the list is in such flux now but I figure we only have six months or so for him to decide where he’s applying so this list-building phase doesn’t last much longer.

7636

According to the dating app Clover, Penn State is #4 on the “colleges with the most attractive women” list. College is “for” education and for preparing for your future, but it is also the place where you are most likely to meet a future spouse. Kids may not be conscious of why they’re making choices, but I have to think that sometimes a pretty/handsome face glimpsed on a campus tour might change someone’s mind.

I kind of wish that our list was in at least a little flux, since it would mean that kiddo was thinking about colleges. Right now, though, he has a lot of school and plays to think about and doesn’t have much brain room for anything else. I am so glad I have this place to do my worrying and what-ifs. I fully expect fluctuations once school lets out and one of the two plays he is in finishes, so I can wait until then.

7637

@ninakatarina Oh boy. I’m afraid to look at that Clover list. S19 will just want to go to school where the prettiest girls are.

7638

@mom2twogirls My kids attend a small, Catholic school. There are about 120 kids in each grade. So the small LACs don’t feel small to S19. I do get what you’re saying about being a small fish in a big pond. S19 is introverted too. Being able to blend into the background at a larger school makes sense. Really appreciate that perspective.

@homerdog I asked S19 if he wants to look at other big schools such as Temple, Drexel, or Delaware. He said no, just PSU. And there are no palm tree influences in University Park, PA. LOL! Like you with USC, I’ve been spending (too much?!?) time on the PSU website. Sheesh. The housing process intimidates me. But perhaps you are onto something. My nephew graduated from PSU main last year and has shared that everyone has a place there. And S19 has a good friend from his high school who is a freshman there now. This friend is just like S19, a D&D playing (they play together online) band kid who is not interested in greek life. He met up with this friend while on the field trip. He probably figures that if his cousin and friend like/d it there, he would too.

@ninakatarina Great point. LOL! I met my spouse while we were both students at that small, Jesuit college. And I can’t lie. I first visited that college on a beautiful spring day and the tour guide made, uh, quite an impression on 17-year-old me. It shot up to the top of my list and stayed there. Perhaps the “visual vibe” at PSU on that field trip day was a positive one for S19. :smiley:

7639

@homerdog if he likes LAC’s and you’re coming out to tour USC, then consider visiting the Claremont colleges while you’re in CA. You could fly into LAX and back from Ontario airport.

7640

This issue of school size is interesting to me. I too have an introvert, a really truly introverted introvert, and I can see this going either way. I went to an LAC of about 1460 students. After about a semester, when your class is 365 people, you “know of” just about everyone. No, you haven’t gotten to know all 365, and you’ve probably failed to lay eyes on a few, and you haven’t even personally interacted with everyone, but you pretty much are aware of who’s there, at least first impressions. (I met a woman at my 20th reunion and had no clue who she was, didn’t even recognize her name, and this was truly surprising to me – I kept commenting on how weird that was). Cliques do form, and seem to be based at least that first year on your dorm hallway. I loved it there and enjoyed my social circle. But then again, I enjoyed high school too, and my D does not, for the most part. But I can see how if you don’t happen to click with some friends and form your little tribe within that first year, you’d be out in the cold. Whereas if you have 1500 classmates your year, or 7000, the possibilities go on for the whole four years. But at the small school, there’s also a lot of social scaffolding. At my LAC we were put into “core groups” of about 6 men and 6 women paired with two sophomore “sponsors.” We were also put into two other early groups: our freshman seminar class of 16, and our advisor group of about 10. Lots of awareness, therefore, of each individual, and if you’re not connecting, there’d be a lot of safety nets waiting to catch you, at least theoretically. So I guess it’s the proverbial tradeoff.

I’ve been mentoring two former foster kids this year and last. One is now at Colorado State, and he really wanted a bigger school where he could fly under the radar and not have people focusing on him and his back story too much – he just wanted to be another kid in the crowd and not The Foster Kid, which made sense to me. In contrast, when my D has visited large public schools, she looks totally nonplussed about them and says things like, “This would be like going to high school again.” For her that means that it could be okay, but it wouldn’t be amazing. She’d have to work to find her niches and she thinks she’d mostly feel left out.

I think the biggest difference between big schools and smaller schools is the academic experience. The opportunity to sit around a conference room sized table and have your professor ask you directly what you thought of the reading is amazing. In bigger environments, there are so many large classes where most kids don’t attend the lecture, and even when they do, they’re mostly passive consumers of the experience. By the time I graduated from my LAC, I considered myself a friend of two of my professors. I worked with both of them on research and was a co-author with both of them on a total of 3 peer-reviewed journal articles. I still communicate with both, including texting one of them several times a year. So that’s what I keep saying – the learning and academic experience you can have at a LAC can be extraordinary, and the research/collaboration/discussion experience is often outside of a class, and thus provides so much more bang for your buck.