@wisteria100 agreed. I guess I’m just looking farther ahead. If S19 got serious about a girl who is Catholic it would be incredibly complicated for him. And again, everyone I know who go to those schools is Catholic even though I know not everyone is. I’m not saying that the school, per se, has requirements that would be a problem. I think he would welcome classes on religion, especially from a historical angle.
Mixed religious, mixed race, mixed anything relationships are mostly complicated for family and friends of those in the relationship. Those family members and friends then impose the difficulty on the people in the relationship.
If being around Catholics or Asians or gays or any other group is a problem, then definitely narrow the college search down. Not all colleges or college experiences are about or have to be about growing outside of the classroom.
re: children choosing majors
S19 has always known my vocational background to be data warehousing (software environment). He’s a much better student that ever was, so I’d tell him about work projects hoping to spark interest.
Since 10th grade he’s always been seriously about filmmaking. I was hoping it was a phase, but he’s set on majoring in film production. (4.0/32/top of class…You sure?! Not STEM?)
Once he was convinced, I finally told him about my art school exp. Academy of Art in SF where I majored in motion pictures. Funny how these things work out.
I went to Flagship University of Medium-Sized State (undergrad) and Not-HYP Ivy University (grad school). FUMSS has turned into a serious financial reach without much merit aid available for out-of-state folks, so that’s out, even aside from it having become more and more selective over the years. My D17 always thought she wanted to attend NHIU, not because it was an Ivy but because I’d gone there, but that evaporated when she toured it and was put off not by the school, but by the posturing of the parents of the other kids at the info session.
Not that I’ve wanted any of my kids to attend NHIU—I’d pushed back on it over the years, actually—and while it would be nice to send a kid to FUMSS (it’s my wife’s alma mater, as well, after all), it’s not a big deal, or even a medium deal, to me either way.
As a single parent, who’d married someone who was not of the same faith, I’m comfortable that D19 (a teen of strong faith) is very cautious in this regard all on her own. Based on her academic interests and resistance to the 3/2 engineering option, we only considered a couple Christian schools, none of which are still on her list.
D loves my alma mater because she’s been there for events and it could actually be a great fit. It’s a lottery school today and financial need-only school. I was very low income and NMF, so reasonable cost 20 years ago. She has other good options, although I know she’s bummed.
Her dad’s alma mater is actually a good fit academically and has a great rep for engineering/cs. I put it on the initial list, but it’s kind of hanging out there at the bottom with no real activity. People on this thread and site have posted some positive visit reviews, but i think the kid’s mind is stuck on a conversation over lunch when visiting Purdue. The other family at the table had a dad who was also an alum of D19’s dad’s school. The family had just come from visiting and was so disappointed about the lack of upgrades to facilities. Said the dorms and many class buildings looked the same as it did in the late '80s.
So, the school list is long enough, she can create her own legacy.
@momtogkc My D19 isn’t Catholic, and not really religious either, but she really liked her BC tour and, at this point, it would be the only Boston-area school she applies to (unless it falls off the list; she’s shifty lol). She likes the “giving back” aspect of the culture, and went to an Episcopalian middle school, so she’s kind of used to school having some religious aspects to it I guess.
@knightcub I probably shouldn’t even respond but I will just say this. There are a lot of colleges out there and S19 is looking for the best for him. He has to narrow it down somehow. We are not Catholic. And we don’t practice any organized religion. It will be up to our kids to make the decision about religion as adults. We are a very open-minded family. I hope our kids meet all kinds of people when they go off to school.
Religious colleges: We’re non-Protestant/non-Roman Catholic Christians, and my D17 and D19 are both quite religious. D17’s at a Methodist school (Muhlenberg), and my D19’s leading candidates are a public (UAH), a completely nonreligious private (WPI), and a very Catholic school (St Mary’s Texas). Their point of view through the whole process is that as long as the school itself doesn’t require adherence to some sort of very heavily faith-specific statement of faith and practice (hi, BYU and Baylor!), and even maybe if it does, then there’s going to be a pretty wide range of students to hang out with no matter what.
@dfbdfb sure. I just looked it up, though, and BC is 70 percent Catholic. Anyway, not looking to have a big discussion. It’s up to each student to decide what they want of course!
@dfbdfb
Isn’t Muhlenberg Lutheran, not Methodist?
Regarding religion and colleges, just learned an interesting tidbit about Davidson. It’s bylaws require the college President to be Prebyterian. And it was only in the past decade that board membership was opened up to non Christians. Interesting. Now I’m wondering if other schools have those sorts of rules. I had thought Davidson was more secular.
Muhlenberg welcomes and celebrates a broad range of faith traditions and spiritual perspectives. As a college of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, we have deep roots in this mainline Protestant faith.
Interesting about the religion stuff. I always find it interesting to see some of the preconceived ideas about it when it comes up on CC.
I only have my own alma matar based experience, but I would honestly say that those practicing no religion would have zero trouble fitting in at mine.
That said, if a student wants no colleges with required religious classes, no matter how generic or more like history classes they are, then a catholic school isn’t going to work. Whether they are catholic, another religion or no religion. Especially if the student is dead set on the belief that taking even a general “World Relgions” class is akin to having a root canal with no pain meds.
If a student finds it interesting to have a general understanding of religions, doesn’t mind religious artwork in their eyesite and wouldn’t feel traumatized by having an occasional professor who is a nun/priest and wears the clothing signaling it, then the student may like a Catholic college in general, regardless of their race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.
But I also know @homerdog’s puppy doesn’t need to add more schools and if he wants to limit his list based on religion, there’s no need to convince him otherwise
@mom2twogirls agree with all of that. 
@homerdog I’m sure demographics is part of the creation of all our our lists. Coming from a high school with both racial and socioeconomic variety, diversity, or usually the lack thereof, has eliminated many schools from our list. And I make no apologies for it.
Mr. InfiniteWaves and S19 identify as Catholic. S21 and I identify as atheist. So we are living the mixed spirituality dream as a family unit. 
I was raised by one Catholic parent and one atheist parent. The atheist parent agreed to let the Catholic parent raise me Catholic. Alas, I identify as an atheist so that parent won out in the end. LOL!
That said, I loved my Jesuit college experience. But I can’t say how it would be for a non-Catholic student as I was comfortable within Catholic culture (even if I was not spiritually Catholic) because I was raised it in. We did have a theology requirement. I opted for the historic theology classes and really enjoyed them. Because it was the first time I actually “studied” the bible gospels with a non-religious lens.
But seriously, if a kid or family is not into that at all, there are plenty of other colleges out there! Now, my S19 still voluntarily goes to Mass and on every college visit wants to figure out where he can continue to do so. Mr. InfiniteWaves and I feel that he could thrive in a Jesuit environment. As such, S19 is willing to consider Jesuit schools but no other Catholic colleges. Sorry, Villanova.
My atheist S21 liked our alma mater when he visited. But I think that had something to do with the pretty campus and urban location instead of the chapel that anchors one side of the quad. He will probably ditch the Catholic college idea once he fully realizes that theology classes are involved. :))
Aw, it makes me super sad when Franciscan colleges are overlooked and only Jesuit ones get recognition from so many.
We had priests from different Catholic backgrounds, but I really loved seeing the Friars in their brown robes on campus. And every single one of them that I met were so kind and welcoming. One was always in the dining hall and his super lounge laugh was literally the same sound as a donkey hee hawing. I swear, the sound of it brightened everyone’s day, always. The only nontheology class priest/friar I had as a professor was for biology. He was probably the quietest and most introverted of all the friars I met. So so kind though.
One of my theology class professors was a Dominican priest, black shirt, white collar and all. He seemed ancient to the 20 year old me. He was pretty awesome though. I remember a great discussion about how political and decidedly non spiritual the choosing of the Pope is.
Anyway, it was a great experience overall. Too bad my kids wouldn’t like it. But then again, at their ages, I would have been lost at the types of schools they prefer. Even though it makes me a little sad, I’m really proud that they know what’s best for them and have their own preferences.
@wisteria100: Ack! You’re right!
Mainstream Protestant, either way, though. (Though not so closely allied in the 19th century when the college was founded, I suppose.)
@knightcub - avoiding asians? where would one go about avoiding asians?
@amandakayak I do not know. It was used as an illustration, not a literal suggestion. But of course you already knew that.