@crknwk2000 our kids are probably at the same school. Heartbreaking.
@crknwk2000 My heart goes out to the family and all the families of your community.
@crknwk2000 Iām so sorry.
Good morning to allā¦
Just wanted to say hi, and sorry Iām so late to the forum.
We visited several schools over the past year, and my D is in the decision process right now. The top two right now are UGW (aka George Washington in DC) and SMU (Dallas). Being in Louisiana, Dallas would fit family better, but GWU seems to fit her long term goals (hopefully) better.
Merit offers from both, very similar offers, but looks like GWU will be a little more expensive. Going to ask for a few more dollars, just for kicks. Anyone have any luck on this?
I look forward to reading yāallās thoughts on the myriad of decisions to be made over the next several monthsā¦
Canāt hurt to ask, @Anotherdad328. Although your D should ask - along the lines of - I really want to attend your awesome school, the cost is more than we can realistically afford, is there any way to be considered for additional grant or merit aid?
@crknwk2000 so awful. Hugs to all the kids. The worst thing is that it can be socially contagious - as in via social media.
Thanks scholarme, yes, thatās our plan. Iām sure the words will mean more coming from her than me. The recruiter āis unavailableā until next Tuesday. And itās no lie, she canāt afford any of them.
@Anotherdad328 I forgot to mention that my D19 actually did ask Pitt for more $, but they said sorry with your test scores we canāt reconsider. But they did point out departmental.scholarships she could apply to if she enrolls. But Iām glad she asked - rejection is good character building LOL.
Heck yea, exceptional students need to hear the word NO occasionally. And also learn that you usually donāt receive unless you ask. Iām not expecting much, if any, but at least Iāll know.
She interested in archeology and international studies. Looking forward to her hopefully being exposed to a lot of optionsā¦
@1stTimeThruMom Would say in the teens of applications for students. Hard to sell yourself to so many schools as a best fit with essays, visiting, desire, etc. Along with the number of applications was the disparate types of schools that these students applied to. See this in so many recent posts (in this thread) on CC. A student has a hard time being all things to all colleges. The culture at each school is different and while many may have similar test scores, they may be each looking at a different type of student to fll their class (at that time) If I have a hard time believing that a student would be happy, or 100% thrive at all the different (dissimilar) colleges they apply to, wonder what the colleges think when they read the file of a student, that while matching in stats, doesnāt seem to match the culture, or have a strong passion for that particular college. For example, it would be really hard, if not impossible to write a common app essay that grabs the attention and shows that a student is a great fit for 6 or 8 colleges, no less 15.
Also , when applying to the colleges that accept less than 10% or 15% of their students - if students are so busy applying to the teens of colleges and their scholarships, it is very difficult to juggle all the balls (applications, essays, visits, full load of AP classes, extracurriculars, volunteering, etc) all at once. Would guess that often some/many of the college applications suffer in quality, as a student canāt stay up 24/7 to be great at everything and take the time off of high school for all the visits necessary to really learn about the colleges.
@crknwk2000 (And possibly @SJ2727 ). I am SO sorry - that is devastating for a school and its students. I do hope it doesnt overshadow your seniorsā experiences, or fuel ripple effects of copycat attempts. It has SUCH a big impact on a community
@crknwk2000 Suicide is always heartbreaking and so much more so when it is a teenager with their life ahead of them. Condolences to her family and your community. I still think almost weekly about a vivacious and thoughful young man in D16ās year who took his life. Stunned everyone and deeply affected many of us who were his teachers & coaches.
S19 went to a Dartmouth accepted students event last night. 6 students from our city and another 7 from the surrounding areas. About half were ED admits. Only one recruited athlete. From our city, 4 were from private schools and 2 public schools (about 45% of HS students in our city attend private or parochial schools). I didnāt get much out of S19 (as usual) except that a bunch of the other ED kids are going to Dimensions and he wants to go too. Hmm. Clear on the other side of the country? I donāt think so.
On other news, I am learning a lot about the Brexit debates. S19 is obsessed and watches reviews of the Brexit debates on YouTube every morning.
I wish all admission officials have a lot of sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters so that they know pain that they inflict on our kids.
@AP2018 - Your argument against submitting many applications is the reason for us that we do. Many on this thread are pointing out that there is really no way to know which of the many colleges will decide you (via your common app essay) are a match for their culture. From my familyās perspective, better to submit (17) apps and hope one or two do. If we had stopped at ten apps as many would advise, Dartmouth would have been left off the list.
Iām not praising the system, but the common app, by allowing 20 apps to be sent easily, has helped to create this. I believe it sets up a degree of privilege open to those who can afford to shell out the app fees (only a few top schools offer fee waivers). While I consider the almost $1k of app fees a drop in the college bucket (we had SlideRoom fees on top of regular app fees), I know many for whom this isnāt possible.
You are correct in presuming that my daughter didnāt get a lot of sleep in the 3 weeks from December 1 - 24. But the common app was done by Dec 1 (an advantage in applying ED somewhere). And while the individual essays (after the first group) might not have had the effort to become masterpieces, we made sure that the quality stayed high. Interestingly, in the case of both my girls, the college they esteemed the best acceptance was either the last (for D15) or among the very last (for D19) written and submitted. There is not rhyme or reason to this.
In the end, to each their own. Weāve done it twice this way and would continue to if we had more children as it works for us. Iām certainly grateful that we donāt have to go through this process again - at least until the Med School apps start flying this summer - talk about expensive!.
@liska21 - Totally understand your not going to Dimensions. We thought about going to the event yesterday, but it is a 6 hour drive for us. Would love to hear more - sounds like you would too 
I see the trip next week as a way to alleviate lots of uncertainty for our daughter. Accepting and then attending site unseen would be stressful. We look at it as an investment in mental health.
@crknwk2000 - No words can express my sadness in hearing this. Healing thoughts to your family and all in your community.
@rmsdad or maybe more/better research during the college choosing stage of the process would have cut down your list to 10, or less and led you to Dartmouth. Also not all that difficult, if someone spends the time on internet, plus talking to students/recent graduates, and visits a college (if possible) to see if a student is a āreasonableā match for a collegeās culture.
@rmsdad We visited Dartmouth last year so itās not sight unseen for S19. I really liked the accepted student days with D16, so Iād love to go if it were doable. It conflicts with HS soccer games however. Heās also not having doubts or second thoughts. In fact, it might be good that he stays focused on HS and not get distracted with college daydreaming. He is so ready to move on from HS. 25 more days of school to goā¦
Curious @rmsdad how did your daughter decide that she a perfect fit (with the culture of Dartmouth) without a vist to the campus? Also how did she figure that Dartmouth was her 17th best fit (application) and not her best or 2nd best fit. Most wouldnāt think of choosing their 17th best anything. Just curious on the thought process of someone who applies to 17 colleges and thought they were a perfect fit to their ED college. How close is her fit to Dartmouth, compared to her ED school?
Sorry, @rmsdad I didnāt mean to offend, or interrogate. Was honestly curious what goes on in a family with a completely different view that what I posted earlier. I am always open to all experiences. Please disregard my questions if you find them offensive.
@crknwk2000 @SJ2727 Healing thoughts and condolences for your community and school. It is so difficult to lose kids so young, and in such a manner.
@AP2018 - All is good. I hadnāt read your first post before reading your second (busy helping my daughter finish up scholarship apps). So I didnāt get a chance to be offended. I appreciate the softer tone in your second post. And to answer your questions:
What I havenāt highlighted much in my posts is that the financial package is important for us. My daughter has asked me not to talk finances online but suffice to say in the end, Dartmouthās package is clearly the best and so, even if it wasnāt an Ivy, would have put it in the top 2 along with Wesleyan. Her other 2 acceptances (Grinnell and Whitman) would have been a hardship financially, but we would have chosen those over her local alternatives, which werenāt really any less expensive. The concept of a āperfect fitā might be possible where finances are not a consideration. But for us, a perfect fit is first a high quality college (ideally T20) with excellent aid. Her ideal school (ED) was Yale for many reasons - her top reasons were: high level of academics, excellent art program, world recognized / prestige, and meet 100% need. After Yale (ED deferral / RD rejection), there were no real 2nds for her - ok maybe Harvard (rejection) based on prestige and Pomona (waitlist) based on nothing she could verbalize. Since she is undecided on a major (although goes into college thinking Econ / Govt), the filter for schools stayed broad. We applied to almost every top college which offered to meet 100% of need without loans. Really this was simple. Based on experience, there was no way to know if the online NPC would match the actual aid offered with acceptance. Better to cast a wide net and hope for the best. After any offers we would worry about ābest fit.ā
So with only two offers that make sense, we can spend the time evaluating. Dartmouth was one of the last on the list because of the Greek culture. But we didnāt know anything about the hazing issues beforehand and it was enough to make us pause. Iāve now done due diligence in researching and feel confident that my daughter will find her place there without worry over the Greek life scene. And Iāve convinced her to stay open to either school, as we go for a visit this next week for both WesFest and Dimensions (they are scheduled during the same days so weāll split the trip Wednesday at Wesleyan and Thursday + Ā½ Friday at Dartmouth).
I hope this gives a good enough picture. I have my own personal preferences and biases and Iām doing my best not to color hers except with objective info. But as idealistic as I can be about the perfect college, both she and I are pragmatic enough to believe that the ārightā college can be one of a very many. And the one she chooses immediately becomes the right one.