@AP2018 Ah! Yes, teens seems high. Its been suggested that we stick to 10 - 12. I live in the DC area and unfortunately we are hearing about kids who were completely shut out of the process. Thanks for the input!
Heh @rmsdad my daughter came home one day last year flabbergasted with the guidance counselor who asked a large group in seminar what the most important aspect in making a college list was. Daughter suggested cost and whether they had the major of interest. Counselor told the group the most important was fit. And he wasnât including cost or major as part of fit. She said (at home, not towards the GC) that fit doesnât matter if you canât afford it and they donât even have what you want to study!
@mom2twogirls - I think your girl is pretty grounded in a good way. I can appreciate valuing fit first, but your daughter summed it up very well.
In general Iâve found our HS guidance counselors miss the mark in a number of ways. They tend to advice to the middle - which in our school is just getting more than 50% to attend college. Our daughters were advised not to take more than 1 or 2 AP classes at a time max. They had not even heard of the SAT II. I had to discover this on my own.
Itâs all with good intention, but there is no one size fits all advice. These children are mature enough to ask them what theyâre looking for before telling them what is important.
^Yes, itâs pretty clear (or has become clearer as anecdotal evidence emerges, thanks to this forum) that the chief motivation behind the huge rise in applications to so-called, âelite collegesâ, isnât prestige, but, economics. Older, more established colleges and universities correlate with more money to compete with state flagship universities that are themselves increasingly out of reach for middle-class families.
@Anotherdad328 my D17 goes to GW and loves it!!! I hope your D can get more aid, but honestly their Fin aid dept is not that great so good luck
We applied to 13 and sometimes it doesnât really feel like enough. I feel like a lot was left on the table. There were only 2 reaches, and neither panned out. Well, heâs wait-listed at one, so all hope is not dead, but weâre moving forward choosing from schools he hadnât even heard of until January. Out of the 5 matches, he was wait-listed at 3, and the other two are too expensive. His girlfriend, who didnât have the benefit of a good counselor or unlimited funds for application fees got almost entirely shut out - really smart kid who is left scraping the bottom of the barrel. Sheâs now applying to schools with rolling admissions. I donât know - somethingâs got to give. The USNews ranking system has turned it all into a game. Schools need to be much more open with their statistics so that kids can really get a full picture of what their chances are at not only different schools, but at programs within those schools.
@circuitrider - completely agree. Here in Pennsylvania, the cost of tuition at the state flagship is out of reach for a lot of families. There is no institutional aid whatsoever - itâs pell grants, state grants and then, I guess, maybe Plus Loans? Iâm not sure how they expect kids to finance the $20K a year thatâs left.
@Trixy34 Completely agree with the outrageous cost of public colleges. I sometimes feel that we are all spending too much time worrying about the admit rate at Harvard - which can only take a minuscule number of deserving kids. We should really be up in arms about the affordability at the places where the majority of kids might have a chance at admission. If the public schools were affordable, there might not be this mad scramble for the top to begin with.
@gallentjill - yep. Completely agree. I donât have much hope for this state, though. Been here long enough to see how the gridlock works (or doesnât work). I kept telling my ex we should have adopted the kids out either to their grandparents in NY or their aunt and uncle who teach for the UC system. Then, when that idea didnât seem to get any traction, I suggested we send them to Germany or Argentina for a free college education. I donât know why nobody takes me seriously - I was not kidding about any of it!
@brentwoodmom @citymama9 @rmsdad @Corinthian congratulations on acceptances and decisions being made!
@momzilla2D Congratulations to the decision being finalized!!!
@elena13 good luck with Nashville!
@TwinMom2023 sounds like a great campus!
@crknwk2000 Iâm so sorry. Our district has lost a few kids this year to accidents and its always so tragic.
This thread moves quick, Iâm behind and trying to catch up! Today is prom and I doubt I will get through it without some tears. 7 weeks until graduation. We have a general plan for his grad open house and Iâve already picked up decorations or saved some from his sisters.
S19 hasnât made up his mind yet and D18 has been struggling with choosing a major. I will be happy to get to this summer and let things settle down a bit. Shopping for our last freshman dorm will be relaxing after all of this and probably online for a pick up local to wherever he ends up.
@RightCoaster and @eandesmom thanks, he changes where he is leaning. CS at Lehigh or RIT both fit him in different ways. We canât get to any more visits. He has lacrosse season, orchestra competition, and AP reviews and classes that he wonât miss.
Hello everybody - once again I have fallen so far behind but I have been keeping up with reading the boards! My downfall is that I often read in the car while waiting in line for S23 to get out of school and donât have time to post replies.
@crknwk2000 & @SJ2727 - I am so, so sorry for your loss, that must be devastating.
@4MyKidz -Thanks for the book recommendation, I am going to check it out!
@mom2twogirls - Our college counselor also told D to look for fit first. She said donât worry about the price, nobody pays the sticker price! Luckily I had talked a ton with D and was in the meeting and quickly told her that we would be paying full price and we were looking for a balance of fit and affordability. I hated to think about the kids who ere int here with no guidance though, going home and picking out schools that may not be affordable because the college counselor told them not to worry about it!
@drewsmom17 - Enjoy prom! I teared up a bunch but held it together most of the night. It didnât help that D went with a group of girls she has been friends with since kindergarten - so emotional!
@Trixy34 & @Atyraulove - Sorry it took me so long to answer about SLU. Fist to Trixyâs point, back when I was there (early 90âs) SLU & Hobart were both pretty much filled with white private school kids from CT. I am sure it has changed since then but Iâm not sure so keep your eye out for that.
If your kids are outdoorsy they will love St. Lawrence! (as long as they donât mind being int he middle of nowhere) The Outing Club is probably the biggest club on campus and they do trips all year long and I am sure it is way better than when I was there. One great tradition is Peak Day, a day when the Outing Club tries to get enough groups to go out and hike so that there is a group on every peak in the Adirondacks.
You were saying that your friend raved about his time there, I think most kids who went there do the same. For a small school we have a ton of pride and a very strong alumni group. In fact one friend who did not go there used to say, âFor a small school you sure have a lot of alumni!â because so many of us remained friends and we always seem to find other Larries wherever we go. 
I canât wait to hear about your trips up there. It is not for everybody but I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it.
As for us D is doing well and is still very happy with her decision about Tulane. She is on the FB page looking for friends and a roommate. That part is a little stressful because it feels like a popularity contest or something. What happens is that most of the kids donât usually use FB so they post on there then message people privately on Instagram. Some messages just say âhiâ and others jump right in and say âdo you have a roommate yet?â The hardest part has been coming up with a response that also ends with a question so the person will have something to write back. She hates when she asks something like âhave you gone back for accepted student day yet?â and the person just answers with âno, Iâm going next week.â She isnât sure if the person does not want to talk to her anymore or is just not great at conversation - itâs like online dating!
I have booked a hotel for move in and parentâs weekend which makes everything so real. We are trying to plan a summer vacation with friends and are having a hard time figuring out where to go. We have gone to Maine with these friends every summer since before the kids were even born (I think even before we got married!) but their parents sold the house this year so we are trying to find somewhere new. The kids are SO sad about the house being sold so we need to make it good! 
We had kind of given up on Penn State and assumed that theyâd lost the application, but learned today that S1 accepted for Architecture. He now has an embarrassment of choices, all of which are so very different. A nice problem to have, I realize, but stressful nonetheless.
@momtogkc - Thanks so much for the input. Weâre a little concerned about the athletic, outdoorsy culture. My son is neither of those things. I suppose he could learn to be outdoorsy, but he always went to sailing camp while I lugged my daughter up to the Adirondacks for sleep-away camp. Iâm from upstate myself and my family is there, so at least heâs not entirely unfamiliar with upstate NY culture. But I think the farthest North he has been has been Saratoga Springs - many years ago. He has never set foot in the Adirondacks, so who knows? Maybe heâll fall deeply in love! Iâm always talking about how I miss the deep blue NY sky. Ultimately, the lake may draw him to HWS, and I canât say I would blame him. But St. Lawrence is financially a much better deal.
Congratulations @Britmom5 !
@momtogkc That finding a roommate thing sounds so stressful.I would ask on the Tulane forum if anyone has tips. This social media business is tough, because as you said, itâs hard to know what the other person is thinking. Like dating you just have to have thick skin until you find what/who you want. Good luck.
@momtogkc I agree that the whole Facebook âclass of 20xxâ groups are a little difficult to manage. It does seem more like speed dating than just trying to connect with like minded people. Our daughter has visited the group for her school but sheâs thinking about just going random within a learning community. It seemed so much easier when we were going to college.
The suicide was just horribly sad. Itâs been a really tough year for kids at the school, with another student killed in an accidental incident a few months back and a third critically injured in that same incident. We just hug our kids every day we have them and encourage them to talk if they need, and hope that they do.
on more mundane stuff⊠(bless the mundane)
Iâm kinda relieved D19âs school doesnât allow people to choose freshman roommates (after freshman year they can). We were told the main reason is to prevent the potential for school cliques to re-form/prevent people meeting new people, while encouraging people to meet people from different places and backgrounds. So they match roommates on the habits on the form that gets filled in (late/early riser, tidiness etc) but they specifically said roommates will at the least be paired with someone from a different geographic region. Not sure how well it works in practice, but I like the idea in principle. I hadnât thought about the fact that just the process of finding a roommate might be stressful if you donât know anyone else going. @momtogkc , hope your D manages to find a great roommate!
We go to admitted students weekend next weekend. Looking forward to it, and also spending time with the family we have in the city.
Also, I missed lots while we were away for spring break, i tried to scan this forum occasionally. So Iâm behind with congrats and commiserations and unable to individually name people by now, but sending appropriate responses to allâŠ
@Britmom5 Congratulations to your son on Penn State! And good luck with the decision. Wonât be long now.
Re: Facebook/roommates - D intends to go random, letting the school do the match. But when she joined the OSU Facebook group, she was thrown off-guard when she got messages almost immediately âWe should totally be roommates!â She wanted to say âI donât know anything about you.â Not sure how she actually responded, but Iâm sure she can handle it.
@SJ2727 and @crknwk2000 So tragic! Really does put things in perspective.
A friend just wrote in Facebook that in her daughterâs school - a well-known public school for gifted kids (not Stuy) - a boy killed himself less that a week before his acceptance letter came from Harvard. So sad. The school announced that he was accepted so that other kids kind of learn not to give up. This sounds like a twisted logic to me - would it have been OK to kill himself if he hadnât been accepted anywhere??