@zipstermom I can see the point of your administration, but that policy wouldn’t fly in our HS. Partly because they pride themselves in the quality of the AP classes, so requiring an AP exam would be saying that these classes aren’t any more difficult than an Honors class. However, the main reason is because our district is very progressive. So requiring families to pay for AP exams so that their kids can have the AP designation on their transcripts would not be considered acceptable. I would guess that if the payment for the APs were not out of pocket, there may have been a requirement to sit for the exams.
As far as I understand, here kids are not expected to bring gifts for other kids’ graduation, just come. If the families are close enough that the parents are invited, it is a very nice gesture to get something for your friends’ kid. As i wrote above, we live in a very progressive suburb, so even for birthdays since the teen years, the “no gits, please” invitations, or “in lieu of gifts, donate to” have been common.
In our town the kids (and kid’s parents) don’t give each other graduation gifts. Gifts come from relatives and family friends. My D16 went to many grad parties but they were really social events with no gifts changing hands. It seems strange that the kids who held grad parties would get gifts, while those that didn’t wouldn’t get anything. They all are graduating, after all.
@TS0104 yes, that’s the kind of collapsible basket I meant - my kids use them at home for dirty laundry but then use a regular laundry basket to transport their clean clothes from the dryer to their room. I don’t even know what D17 uses at college. She has room for a laundry basket, but I don’t remember storing one when we moved her out last year (she goes to school across country so last year we had to move her things to a storage unit). I think we got her an actual plastic basket, but it’s the kind that you can collapse.
@RightCoaster we haven’t been formally invited to any parties yet (just verbal “hold the date”) but I know of a few invitations that are forthcoming so not sure whether they will mention gifts. The party that S19 was invited to came via text message from the boy to S19. I’m sure his mom sent out regular invitations to any parents she was inviting, but guessing it was sort of open invitation to the kid’s friends so he’s just telling friends via text/word of mouth.
@TS0104 The caddy seems pretty nice and some might love it but if someone received it and didn’t want it, it would probably be a hassle to return, even if you could provide a gift receipt. I’m thinking you can’t go wrong with money… DD’17 got a few gifts- one grandma made a quilt, a great-aunt made wall décor, a younger friend gave a blanket, but the majority was money. We used it to open her checking account.
@MWolf I hear you! Our school very much prides itself on its AP classes. Indeed our kids do very, very well on the tests. So the transcript reduction is more of a factor for weighted GPA and class rank–which does motivate many. Not sure there’s a perfect solution…
As for gifts, we tend to bring something small to those we don’t know well (such as an Amazon gift card or a college related book–The Naked Roommate is one we frequently gift). For those we know better we give money or for the girls I often buy a Vera Bradley fleece blanket (at the outlet)–these have been a big hit.
Thanks @bjscheel , I am on the fence between a gift and just cash. I did find out that you can do gifts via Amazon, there are gift options, and I could get gift receipts for them that could be attached to the gift and used to return for an Amazon credit. They would have to ship it, though. Probably will be sticking with cash!
My view on gifts is S19 doesn’t need gifts or $. S19’s view on gifts is ‘$ is great!’.
However the one ‘gift’ he has gotten so far was to be taken out to dinner by his godfather for some godfatherly advice about college life. H and I haven’t decided on a graduation gift for him yet, but I’m thinking of getting him a nice suit (which he has said he’d like). D16 got a new laptop. In my friend group, it’s not common to give kid’s gifts unless it’s family or kids of very close friends (so almost family).
Re:Amazon returns - pretty easy. Print out return label, repackage and drop off for free at UPS. We are in the middle of nowhere and have two UPS stores reasonably close. But agree it may still be a slight hassle for the new grads nonetheless.
Some inexpensive ideas I have heard and may use here - socks with school logo, lanyard with school logo, the $20.19 check. Small $ amount Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts cards, etc
We are only giving gifts (small ones) to the boys who are doing party with S19. Kids here don’t usually give each other gifts. I will give decent size $ amounts to family and close family friend grads only.
I highly recommend a clear tote or purse for girls as a graduation gift as many schools require them for sporting events. I was able to get a monogramed purse for less than 20.00.
That’s a great idea @carolinamom2boys! Yes, so many sporting events and concerts require them now.
We went to the first grad party this past weekend. I special ordered a photo print (of the senior water polo players) that was panoramic and I couldn’t get printed locally. I framed it an added some graphics. I normally wouldn’t go to that trouble but the boy lives across the street, and played on the state championship team with my son. My H and I were the team photographers and have a lot of great photos from the season, so for the other players I’ll do 5x7 prints. I got a bunch of nice acrylic frames from Amazon that are double sided and are wide enough to stand up by themselves on a desk. I also like that Naked Roommate book as an add on.
Around here, kids don’t tend to give one another graduation gifts, but I do like the school-colored candy idea.
As for AP exams, they are required to take them for the AP designation on their transcript (and weighting) which is the only reason S19 took his Physics 1 exam that he knows he won’t get any credit for. Parents pay for the AP exams, but I’m pretty sure the school pays for kids who can’t afford them, or helps them get fee reductions. Our school has a high proportion of kids eligible for free lunch, so they do account for that.
I might get a card and small gift for one or two of S19’s closest friends, but that’s it.
I guess I’d better decide pretty soon if I’m actually giving S19 something! We just bought him a new bass that costs more than his tuition but it would be nice to give him something on graduation day. Maybe I’ll get him a new longboard that’s a little more compact than the one he has since space will be at a premium.
He’ll need a laptop, too but hasn’t decided what he wants yet (his fancy gaming computer basically blew up mid-year and he has been using my Chromebook for school).
S19 has one more AP Exam (calc) but said he didn’t do very well on the practice exam in class. It looks like the pass rate is not great for AB Calc. We’ll see! At this point, I just want him to do his math placement exam, which he apparently needs to complete before he can schedule his orientation.
@eh1234 s19 has to do a math placement exam as well. I assume it’s online. He got an email with a ton of info in it and he needs to get on his housing questionnaire and choosing his orientation trip too.
One of the seniors in my D’s school was killed this last week in a stupid car accident. It wasn’t even some late night driving fast on the highway situation. It was a street in the neighborhood, during the day, at relatively low speeds, and none of the other drivers was even hurt. My D didn’t know him (900 kids in the graduating class), but many of her friends from art classes knew him and were friends of his.
A few years ago, the DS, a graduating senior, of a co-worker was killed in a car accident 2 weeks before graduation. From reading the papers (I didn’t talk to my co-worker about the circumstances), it seem the accident was potentially avoidable. Wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, going a bit fast around a curve, and alcohol found in car. Kid was in a coma for several days. Organs were donated so lives were saved (or improved) as a result of this tragic event.
It was just horrible. He was already set on attending the same college as his big brother. They were going to be roommates. Very popular kid. Memorial service was packed.
I remember when I attended the memorial they showed a montage of his pics from the time he was an infant up to his senior year in HS. It was set to the song, “See You Again” (Paul Walker had died several months before). Every time I hear that song now, I just remember the sadness of his family and friends.
I want to bubblewrap my kids. I couldn’t imagine being a parent in that situation.
Prom night. The tie collection was found wanting at the last minute. Kiddo went emergency tie shopping, didn’t find anything, stopped at a thrift store and found the perfect tie for 99 cents.