Parents of the HS Class of 2019 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
18821

Regarding major, S19 went in considering physics or math. Is liking physics more so far. He tested out of all of calc and is starting in linear algebra. Bowdoin had a meeting at the beginning of the school year with the kids who were doing this and told them all that they will be fine. No reason to repeat multivariable. He’s ok in the class but doesn’t really like it since it’s so theoretical. The math major would require that the next class is more of the same with some math reasoning class and he’s not digging that idea.

So, he will take physics again next semester but not sure what he’ll do about math. He could skip the reasoning class as it’s only required of the kids who are majoring in math and he could take some probability or stats. He needs to talk to his advisor.

He’s missing creative writing and will try to get into one of those classes next semester but they aren’t offered every year so I’m not sure if there will be one. He’s also thinking he will take the first earth science class and see what he thinks of that. He really can’t take two classes with labs, though, and the earth science class has one so he will have to choose a physics class that doesn’t have a lab.

School is challenging for sure. He’s only received a few quiz grades so far and those were good but the first math test was a bear and he won’t get that score until this week. Also turned in two papers last week and don’t have any grades there yet. I think he’s looking forward to getting all of those and some feedback from his professors so he can figure out how he’s doing.

18822

A bit glad it’s been light on here. Caught up on the last few weeks of posts. Things seem to be going so well!

Living vicariously through you all re family weekend. After booking flights (Southwest) and making reservations, we decided not go. It’d been 6 weeks since drop off and her Dad and stepmom were going. We all get along fine, but they’ve missed out on a lot and seemed to be struggling more with the transition than I was. Cutting off the propellers, especially during the course registration process that happens AFTER parents leave campus, was rough, but feels good.

D confessed after family weekend that she’d lost some needed study time and had a rough week. Good - learning experience. She calls regularly and I’ve stopped thinking it means somethings wrong.

She’s home next weekend for fall break and dental work, so yeah! Lands close to 18th Bday.

@ninakaterina - Thought of you a couple weeks ago as I was investigating a Scotland trip. History, yes, but also have been working with Harris Tweed remnants recently and would love to do a factory tour.

@jellybean5 Finally had a 70’s weekend here in Georgia. The heat was starting to become depressing. :smile:

18823

@milgymfam I’m not looking forward to hearing about the substance abuse at S19’s college. All my friends have been stunned when their freshman have come home and spilled the beans. This is from all sorts of schools. Even at my D16’s ‘technically dry college’, about 1/2 her freshman dorm mates got wasted every Friday and Saturday. D16 doesn’t drink and she did not enjoy Friday nights and Saturday mornings in her dorm. The non-drinkers had their own chill hang-outs (hot chocolate and movies), but the drinkers would come back at 2am roaring drunk and loud. S19 is on a sopping wet campus so I’m bracing to be shocked. Assuming he opens up that is. I have a feeling I’m only going to hear 10% of what he’s seen. Right now the freshman are still in their 6-week frat ban. 3 more weeks before they “get” to go to the hard core parties with booze. Oy.

18824

Oh boy @liska21 I can’t wait to hear the party update from your S’s school either! Oy! Sopping wet campus. Lol.

18825

@peachActuary73 S19 had some high school friends trek to Maine to visit last weekend and S19 lost a lot of study time. It was bad and he knew it but they had booked this trip and he felt obligated to spend time with them. He enjoyed the visit but was pretty stressed by Sunday afternoon knowing he would be totally behind. He’s really only been able to keep up day to day because XC takes so much time every day. Losing a weekend was bad.

His midterms are right after fall break and he’s not coming home so the plan is to use those days to really study. Parents weekend is after midterms but we will definitely be conscious of his needing to study if need be and will give him time!

18826

@liska21 we visited with some family this weekend who have a freshman son at another highly selective LAC and apparently they’ve dealt with a heroin problem on campus! Put the stories of over drinking to shame and I was super shocked, as was our cousin and her son attending the school.

18827

@SammoJ Isn’t it fun to see them passionate about their field?

DD is hoping to complete a BA in Theatre which has been an interest for a long time and is of course a lot of fun for her. She hopes to do community theatre for fun and coach speech/drama at a school as a side gig. But her main major of Recreation & Parks Management, I would say she stumbled into it. She really wanted to have a major picked out in advance so I was reading through the list from her school and jokingly suggested things like Ceramics, and Recreation. She picked up on the recreation and we realized it combined her passions for nature, tourism, local community, camp, kids, etc. Then she worked at the Chamber of Commerce last summer and came home giddy most days because she was so into it.

This semester has been more about theatre because she was involved in the Freshman Showcase, but she does have a rec class regarding special populations. She wasn’t thrilled about it, but this weekend said it was really opening her eyes to how the simplest things can be a barrier to those with disabilities so it’s good for her.

She says she’s majoring in fun. I know she won’t get rich, but she should find it fulfilling. Though, I have been pleasantly surprised by salaries on job listings for Parks & Rec departments in the metro area.

18828

D19 is doing well, she said that she’s not stressed anymore and that she’s having a lot more fun. She sometimes texts me in Hebrew, and her mistakes are really funny. I’m happy, though, that she trying to communicate with whatever she has, instead of waiting “until she knows how to speak”.

She has a “Discover Middlebury” highschool senior sleeping on her floor, making things a bit crowded. I wonder what they expect first years to tell them about Midd? They’ve barely been there a month. However, having them sleep in Battell dorms will make sure that they have no expectations if the decide to attend (they are the “worst” dorm building, and they are for first-years only).

18829

@liska21 It is really hard to hear about the extent of the partying. I went to a large state uni. Lots of alcohol Friday and Saturday nights in my dorm (I did partake, not excessively). But generally not to a level of rowdy, falling-down drunk.

S19’s school, on the other hand…drinking almost every night among many (not S so much, although he is doing some and tells us all about it). The second week 2 students in different dorms were taken out by ambulance for what amounted to alcohol poisoning. Not sure what the point of the college education is when it gets to this level.

18830

DS says that there is one pack of Lads in his dorm that are particularly loud stumbling past his window on the weekends, but he has earplugs and noise cancelling earphones if he remembers to put them in so it’s not too much of a big deal. It’s a hazard of being on the ground floor.

One boy in their dorm had a mishap with a broken bottle that needed stitches, but the wardennial team got him to the hospital and back without too much fuss. The mom was telling us about it on the parents’ group. Total cost $0, the college even covered his taxi ride back from the hospital.

18831

Had a good time in New York for family weekend, although we didn’t go to any of the official activities. They didn’t look that appealing, and as the New School doesn’t have a campus per se, it was easy enough to just be in the city and see D19 when we could. She’s doing well, though a little worried that she’s running through her dining-plan money too quickly. Credits can be used at non-university stores in the area, which D19 says she needs to do to have some variety and interest in her meals, but that adds up. She’ll probably step up her efforts to find a part-time job to supplement the $100 a month we give her in spending money.

There was some roommate drama, though thankfully not directly for her. She lives in a six-person suite with three doubles and a common area, and the rooms seemed cleverly allocated: a pair of Chinese women, a pair of Indian women, and D19 and her roommate, both American former expats. However, the Chinese women loathed each other immediately. It may have been partly regional, as one of them is Taiwanese, but they also took a deep personal dislike to each other. D19 said they’re both awfully spoiled and not used to cleaning up after themselves, which didn’t help in the common areas. Ultimately, one of the women moved out, and they’re expecting a replacement to move in this week.

Aside from that, life is good. D19 is excited about the field work she’s done for some of her art classes, like visiting Green-Wood Cemetery. Her roommate was away for the weekend on a family trip, but two of D19’s London friends were visiting New York, one of whom slept in the roommate’s bed. Along with another friend, who goes to Barnard, they had a nice birthday dinner for D19, on us, at a high-end vegetarian restaurant. DW, S22 and I had our own nice dinner nearby, at which we broke a little celebrity-gossip news (saw two co-stars from a network drama, who are clearly dating each other even though that’s never been reported anywhere). On Sunday we had a family brunch and wandered around the city a bit. I finally had to shut up about how much NoHo has changed from the raffish neighborhood of my high-school years, since I was getting a bit boring about it. And I was secretly pleased that a jewelry store told D19 her ears couldn’t accommodate the new piercings she wanted, since I think she looks great as she is.

Didn’t get around to talking in great detail about the drinking culture, but I don’t think there’s much of one. D19 has been to a couple of off-campus parties, but it didn’t sound like anything too wild. Parsons is 80% women, which doubtless makes some difference, and the heavy workload keeps people from getting crazy with their socializing. Does sound like she’s having fun, though. Looking forward to seeing her at Thanksgiving.

18832

DD is having mid-terms and it doesn’t sound like they are going very well. I know the score from one- and based on an IG post I am wondering if another one went poorly. I’m sure she can recover from it though. Prior to the one bad test she had 100% in the class.

Her school is definitely known for drinking & parties, and DD used to be concerned about it before she went but I don’t think it has affected her much. Her LLC is probably a bit calmer than the general freshman dorms. I know she was a designated driver for the cast party.

She was home this weekend and loaded up a bunch of warmer clothes (including 5 pairs of boots!). I hope she found room for it all.

18833

It’s fun to read all the updates. Keep them coming!
I thought my days of watching S play sports were over, but he ended up deciding to play club water polo, and they had a tournament this past weekend in Huntsville, AL (including teams from most of the big southeast schools). I drove over (3.5 hours) Saturday morning and stayed overnight. In addition to watching S’s games and visiting with him a bit, it was fun to see a few other families from our high school water polo family and watch their sons play for various schools. It was also great that Vanderbilt beat UGA, Clemson, Auburn and just barely lost their game against Alabama. Guessing that doesn’t happen in too many sports!
S also decided to try being a vegetarian the day after moving into college, so my food/snacks for helping him refuel in between games had to change a bit. I did a great quinoa salad that was a big hit. I’m thinking that cooking for him over Thanksgiving break will be a bit of a challenge but I’ve found recipes that look good.

18834

@bjscheel I do not know what to think about grades and each school is different. S19 is holding his own but it has not been easy and he’s had numerous meetings at office hours and is attending every study group available. He insists that his high school friends at other elite schools aren’t finding school as hard.

Part of it is that he was not allowed to repeat any classes that Bowdoin deemed him passed out of via their placement tests. So, he had to take linear algebra and couldn’t repeat MV which all of his high school friends are doing. There’s just one section of LA this semester and there are only three first years in there. Same with physics. First, he only knows a handful of first years even taking physics (most are taking bio or chem if they are taking a hard science) and Bowdoin had him pass out of the first semester. He purposely didn’t take the AP, thinking that he’d want to start from scratch but he took two physics placement tests over the summer and they said he needs to start in the second semester class. He’s ok in there, but it’s hard!

Add on a freshman seminar when he’s never written a true academic research paper and an art history class where he’s the only freshman and surrounded by art history majors, and he’s doing a lot of work. I don’t have a good way to guide him about grades and I don’t think there’s anything I can do. They will be what they will be. I really believe he’s doing everything he can and he says he’s learning a ton. He’s just a little surprised at how college classes are so different. I’m glad he’s taking advantage of his small class sizes (no class this semester is bigger than 25!) and throwing himself into the work. He’s going to be completely exhausted by December and will need those four weeks off to recover!

18835

DS was up late a few Saturdays ago playing video games. He got a “need help” group text, and decided to check it out. Evidently, drunk guy 1 was coherent enough to text, soon before drunk guy 2 passed out in the street unresponsive. S wound up calling the campus ambulance and the kid was admitted to the ER. Drunk texter latter passed out himself, but S had taken him to the TA’s room and the dorm leader said he’d watch the kid. Not too sure about the TA’s decision.

Anyway, I asked DS if he stayed clear-headed all the time and he said yeah, and that he’s actually really worried about getting a little too much second-hand weed. I kind of laughed, but it turns out that ROTC does random drug tests with zero tolerance. Hard enough to ROTC at Brown already. Add to that some late-night foggy hallways, and it may turn into a real challenge.

18836

@professionaldad Yikes. I hope all of this fall partying I’m hearing about everywhere settles down soon. Seems like a lot of parents here reporting some serious stuff. How can such bright kids drink themselves into the hospital? Why do they not know better? I hope your S doesn’t have to always be saving all of his friends. Sometimes it’s scary to know what to do.

18837

I think some of these really smart kids have a ‘work hard, play hard’ approach to life. Also, many of them are experiencing freedom with no oversight for the first time and don’t know how to handle it. @professionaldad Glad your S is willing and able to be responsible, but I’m sorry he has to do it for kids making poor choices.

18838

“Anyway, I asked DS if he stayed clear-headed all the time and he said yeah, and that he’s actually really worried about getting a little too much second-hand weed. I kind of laughed, but it turns out that ROTC does random drug tests with zero tolerance. Hard enough to ROTC at Brown already. Add to that some late-night foggy hallways, and it may turn into a real challenge.”

  • Um, kids at Brown are smoking a lot of dope? In the dorms?
18839

Not sure if this is sarcasm or not ? But lots of weed in many dorms at Brown…seemingly unpoliced. Similar to Wesleyan–know a couple of kids there who say similar things…difficult to get away from in the dorms…just part of daily life, even tho know no one cares whether you partake or not.

One of the reasons I like getting DD19’s school newspaper is to read the weekly security reports to see how many kids taken to the hospital for intoxication, among other things.

18840

"Not sure if this is sarcasm or not ? "

  • It's not.

"But lots of weed in many dorms at Brown…seemingly unpoliced. "

  • That's most unfortunate. I have a kid who is highly intolerant of the smell and she wouldn't be able to live in those dorms. Glad she never expressed an interest in Brown.

.“just part of daily life, even tho know no one cares whether you partake or not.”

  • Would that same reasoning hold for, say, cigarette smoke?