Well, in your circumstance, I would totally send them – especially since you didn’t after HS.
“We’re so pleased to share that S22 is receiving his XYZ degree in ABC engineering from Worcester Polytechnic Institute. He will be moving to Lynchburg, VA after spending the summer abroad and has accepted a job from 123 company.”
Or whatever wording you like – but man, I would be so proud and want to share it with everyone I know, lol. If my D26 weren’t also graduating right now, I would be much more inclined to send a college one for D22.
Yes, these things are totally for us. Or at least, my kids don’t care in the least, lol.
Our family isn’t much for sentimental or keepsake gifts, so we probably won’t do anything like that.
I think D22 needs a new laptop, so we will likely buy her one. What she’d appreciate most is a trip to NYC to see some Broadway shows, lol – I would love to go see Every Brilliant Thing while Daniel Radcliffe is still in it (she LOVED seeing him in Merrily We Go Along) – but alas, I don’t think we can fit it in while he’s still there. I know she also wants to see Chess.
I’m planning to order the fancy custom Church Hill Classics diploma frame for the giant diploma her school does (17 x 23) – but we’ll worry about that this summer when we have more time.
So tl;dr – no specific gift that we wrap and give to her, but lots of little (or big!) things like this.
No announcements, no real gift here. I had originally offered a trip but it’s not going to work out for a few reasons. Maybe a long weekend over the summer. Otherwise I assume her gift will financial assistance with her student loans (she has less than $20k, all subsidized so the hope is to get them paid off relatively quickly before they become a real burden) or setting up a new apartment should she actually be so lucky as to figure out how to live elsewhere.
I wanted to check on the grad school crowd as tomorrow is Apr 15 - the deadline to accept offers for the huge majority of the PhD programs. I hope even with the funding cuts and programs accepting fewer students, everyone was able to get into a good fully funded program where they can thrive for the next 5-6 years.
S22 struggled with his decision. Even after narrowing it down to three choices, he was unable to decide where to attend. Luckily, he got off a waitlist for an Ivy program that became a clear winner.
We are handling the D22/D26 dual grads thing in the exact same way - focus on the HS graduation, and just let people know about D22’s college graduation here and there by text and social media. All of the living grandparents are coming to Rice graduation, and that’s all that really matters to D22. Plus, she has at least one more degree to come and possibly two, so we also don’t want to wear everyone out with a stream of increasingly obscure graduations.
We’re doing one sentimental gift - my dad passed away 12 years ago and left S22 his Rolex. Which I’ve been keeping, because you don’t give a 10 year old a Rolex. So I’ve gotten it cleaned and serviced (and a new crystal as I scratched the old one). That’s costing me a pretty penny, so while it’s sort of more from my dad, it’s also from us.
And then we’re doing one practical gift - cash. He and his buddies are doing this mega monthlong trip to Thailand and Vietnam. He’s already bought his plane tickets, but we’ll be reimbursing him the cost of the tickets. We would’ve paid for them outright as a gift, but he paid for them before we could offer.
Congrats to your son! My son committed last week. He went to 3 of the visit days and had several in-person (and later back when he returned) zoom meetings to find the best PI fit. He is finally less stressed about the whole process. He found a potential roommate already and now planning for the next 5 years!
I’ve been reading Reddit and seems like funding is tough and I see people posting that while they were admitted into a school, finding the PI with funding is the extra hurdle.
What will your son do between graduation and grad school?
Congrats to your S22 for getting the program he wanted! Such a relief when it works out beautifully.
Mine applied to masters programs, not PhD – she got into eight programs. One had decent funding but was crossed off because they wanted an answer by March 15, and she would have had to start summer classes on May 26 – and she just couldn’t commit to either.
Another was crossed off because it was mostly a safety.
Of the six remaining, two were elite (read: expensive) – Vanderbilt and Northwestern, two were practical and solid – Georgia State (in-state tuition for us) and UT Dallas (which offered in-state tuition and a stipend), and two were in the middle (UVA and Delaware).
In her head, it really came down to GSU and Vanderbilt for various reasons. She toured GSU over winter break. And she just flew to Nashville last week to sit in on classes – under a lot of stress because she had to rearrange her entire life to do so, lol – and I think she liked it?
It does not make any sense to go to an expensive school for a clinical SLP degree, because it makes not one bit of difference in salary or job prospects. However, this is a kid that could very well change her mind and fall down a rabbit hole of research and decide to stay in academia – she’s definitely that person – so in that case, Vandy might give her some advantage.
In a twist of luck, my D26 chose an in-state school (Georgia Tech), which translates to a lot of cost savings for us – which lets us more easily pay for Vanderbilt if she chooses it.
But as you said, tomorrow is April 15, so she has to notify someone that she’s accepted the offer – and she has NOT YET TOLD ME her decision.
Thought about getting son a Rolex, but he doesn’t wear anything: watch/necklace (yeah, we bought him the class ring to sit in the box).
Son traveled to Thailand/Taiwan/Japan for 1 month during his junior year January month off so we already paid for that.
And he’s doing a Switzerland hiking in June with his 5 best friends.
We’ll probably do a belated grad family vacation during one of sibling’s school breaks next year (since I don’t vacation in the summer: too hot/crowded).
Son’s laptop was practically dead so we got him a new MacBook. And for a gift to open, will get him an iPad.
–
I’m thrilled that I found a dress to wear.
I have to hunt for a 2nd option if it’s a 1000 degrees (since graduation is outdoors).
Note: NOT true to size: way too big. I started with a size Medium, and ended up with a Xsmall. Perfect: no need to hem/tuck anything.
Congratulations @CMCMLM! My son decided last week as well after he visited 5 different programs in-person and skipped over as many. He too talked to professors, grad students, grad program directors, former students, etc. He was surprisingly thorough. I am so glad and relieved it’s all over. He hasn’t got as far as finding a roommate or even thinking about any of this.
I too have been following Reddit, and for many this has been a really bad year. From what S22 gathered, most of the programs reduced the number of available spots, some of them significantly. They all seemed rather cautious with their offers as they were not sure about this year’s yield. Seeing some of the students on Reddit getting unfunded PhD offers and even worse the occasional rescinded offers just seem so cruel.
S22 has no plans for this summer after three summers of REUs. We will see what happens. His original plan was to continue his research with his undergraduate professors (math can be done from anywhere) and relax. I think he is quite exhausted right now as he did quite a lot of traveling between the grad program visits and conferences this semester. How about your son?
Good luck @SpreadsheetMom I hope you get to find out soon! I was at the same position only a week ago, and to say I was sick and tired of waiting would be an understatement! Those are all wonderful choices and I am sure your daughter will be happy wherever she goes to.
Not sure what his plans are. He said he could continue working in the lab at his current school, but he isn’t going to be paid. I guess it doesn’t really matter, though, because his apartment lease in LA will go through August.
He got lucky with the roommate—he got to know him through the REU.
This is my plan. I want something and I know my parents and our siblings would appreciate it. We didn’t send gifts for any of those (my kids are the youngest), so I don’t think they’d think it’s a gift grab by sending them.
I have no plans on a gift. I have some time to figure it out.
I’ve had a couple of good chats with S22 this week. Sunday night he called late (10:00 is late for me, I wake up at 5:15). I was still awake, but worried because that’s not normal for him. All is well, he just wanted to talk through his thought process for scheduling the FE exam. This is something that they really recommend engineers to do right at the end of school, so they don’t have any time to forget the stuff they’ve learned. He’s had some run around with the scheduling (he needed a time accommodation for his dyslexia, so that took some extra paperwork and hoops to jump through). Finally everything is approved and now he’s just nervous about being ready. He’s been pushing So Hard on his capstone project and paper. They defend next week, and I think everything has to be turned in this week, so it’s going to get better soon. This year and a half long weight will be over this week. I think he could still be prepared and take the test in the week between exams finishing and graduation, but he really wants to just relax and enjoy that time. Then he’s going straight to Asia. He’ll have three weeks after he gets back before he starts work, so he could take it then. But right now he’s feeling so overwhelmed and overloaded that he doesn’t feel prepared for the exam. He wants to use that time to study, then take the exam in August. That’s after he starts work, but they’ll give him time off for it. All of that is fine. Is it what I would choose if it were me? Probably not, as I hate having those things hanging over my head. But he really just needed to talk out his thought process with someone and have someone say that it was an ok decision. Given that he’d had such a concrete plan that was not that, I think he was having a hard time letting go.
Then we talked with him again last night. I found two apartments for him, either of which would be great. One is in the most desireable area. It’s a loft style apartment with multiple windows (windows are a must have for him and is not common with the housing inventory). It’s got a move in date mid June. The problem? Rent + fees + parking = $1175/month and that doesn’t include electricity (but does include other utilities and wifi). That’s more than he wants to pay. He 100% can afford that, but he really wanted to stay closer to $1000. He’s never been the only person in an apartment, he’s always had roommates, so I don’t think he really gets how much the cost jumps when it’s just you. This is not a bad price. He doesn’t want to pull the trigger on it because it doesn’t feel right. Ok.
The other was a slightly less central location, and the apartment was in a converted mansion. The mansion has been turned into 4 apartments. It’s the same square footage, but feels much larger. It’s a genuinely cool space with LOTS of windows. It feels old and retro cool, as opposed to new and industrial. Rent + utilities (including electricity, but no WiFi) + parking = $1100. That extra $75, and the promise of no separate electric bill, was enough to sell him on this place. He really liked the vibe of it. The problem? It’s available right now. They’ll give us a month of holding, but he’d basically have to start paying rent mid-May. His job starts July 13th. He’s willing to pay for the month of June, but two extra months is more than he wants to deal with. He’s getting a good size bonus for moving expenses, which would 100% cover two months of extra rent, but he really wants to keep that money if he can. So we’ll see. The housing hunt continues.
I would think a nice card would be good. Most teachers and professors (heck, adults) seem to have all the things and it really feels like most say what they appreciate from their students is a heartfelt note or letter.
Okay, both of those apartments sound great – and very reasonably priced! – to me. There’s no way you can sway him that it might be worth paying this amount for the first year, even if he has to pay a couple extra months, etc? If it ends up not being right or too expensive, he can always move after the first year, but at least he’ll have a decent place to live to start off. (And then he has plenty of time while there to look for just the right thing.)
(Granted, I’ve mostly looked in downtown Houston and Atlanta for student apartments, and those are ridiculous – anything under $1500 is unheard of. And now I’m looking in Nashville on spec, and those are also pricey.)
