Friend of my D22 also just graduated from Tulane, and I saw his mom’s video of some of the festivities – looks so fun! What’s funny is I had just googled “second line” after reading her post. 
You’re not kidding about NOLA knowing how to throw a party, lol. Congrats to your D22! I’m exhausted from a much more subdued celebration, so I can just imagine. 
Oh, for sure – we were NOT sad about missing all the boring parts, lol. We skipped the Sallyport (after much debate) and headed to the stadium right at 5pm to get seats with backs, but that meant we guarded those seats with our lives during the rain delay for three hours. We were all a little punchy after that.
Saw your kiddo on the screen and cheered for her! My DH asked, “Do we know her?” And I said, yes, that’s txfriendly’s kid! (My family just smiles and nods and humors me. 
)
Oof, hope you hear about a move-in date soon. Our August calendar is starting to align, thank goodness. S25 will move into his dorm for sophomore year between Aug 7-9. D26 will move in Aug 15 for band camp. And D22 will have orientation Aug 24-25, which means we need to get her apartment set up as soon as we get back from our (tentatively-planned) vacation on Aug 1. Then she can be free to come home to help move her siblings in, etc. (Both girls loved moving their brother in last year.) Yay for a four-hour driving distance this time around!
ETA – Huge congrats to your D22!
So new random thing for me to be mentally stuck on. (If I’m not worrying about or planning for something, I don’t know what I’d do. Probably be more healthy, but that just isn’t me.)
S22 has a new girlfriend. In the town he’s now leaving. He “really likes her. Like really really likes her.” I’m happy for him that he found someone, as he’s wanted to find someone for a while. But. She’s just finished her junior year and has another year in that town (different college, but same town in MA.) He’s accepted a job in Southern VA. They will be approx 11 driving hours apart. They only met like five weeks ago and have only been “official” for like 2.5 weeks. From everything he’s said, she DOES sound like an awesome girl. But he wants to keep this going long distance and that just seems… not practical with such a new thing. I think he has an idea of the challenges, but he wants to try.
My worry is that I really want him to lean in to his new town. He’s excited about having a job, but really not excited about where the job is located. They give new employees a relocation incentive to cover moving costs and, if you leave before two years are up, you have to pay back a portion of the money. He’s been talking (before the girl) about just trying to make it two years, which will give him experience and let him not have to pay the $$ back then trying to move away to a different job in a better location.
I was already worried about him not trying to find his place and make the most of this job. I want him to really lean in to the opportunities and experiences, because I think that’s how you get the most out of it and how you learn and grow the most. Plus that’s how you have more fun and keep the loneliness at bay. He was miserable at his summer job last summer - it was outside of Pittsburgh, which is a great place for young people - but the company did no activities for interns and he didn’t take the time to try to find people or activities in the city since he was leaving at the end of the summer. I’m worried he’ll adopt that same attitude, exacerbated by the new (virtual) presence of the girl. Both my boys have talked about roommates they have had who have spent so many hours each night talking to their significant others, and going to visit as often as they could, that they really didn’t make the attempt to fit it and find their people where they were. I don’t want that to happen to him.
I totally recognize that there is nothing that I can or should do about this. It’s just uppermost in my mind and I needed to get it out somewhere. He was already so less than excited about this location, I’m afraid this will make it worse. I just want him to be happy in his job and to see it as the great opportunity that it is. I think it’s actually a really great company to work for and, if it were located in a place more appealing to him, could realistically be a company he wanted to stay at for a long long time. Sigh. I guess we’ll see what happens and in the meantime I’ll just keep my lip zipped and listen to whatever he wants to share.
But if she comes to visit him maybe they’ll go out and explore together? And discover awesome places he’d never find on his own? Plus having someone to talk to on the regular could keep him from getting depressed and lonely. It might turn out to be the best thing possible!
I’m hoping for the explore together and having someone to talk to be positive. It’s not easy to get to the town he’ll be in other than by driving, but maybe they’ll be able to figure something out. He really likes her and she does seem lovely, so hopefully all works out for the best - both with the relationship and with the town.
A few thoughts… “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.” You know that, of course. His employer has offices worldwide. You could remind him that if he does a bang up job the next couple of years, perhaps he could transfer to a different office in the same area where GF winds up.
My southern VA boy is marrying a MA girl! :But after they graduated, she was going to live at home to save $$$ for grad school. Younger S had a job in your area - he had already been an intern who was asked back - but asked to transfer to their MA office. Thus, he lived with FDIL2’s family for 1.5 years. After that, they realized she was never going to be able to pay for grad school on her own, so he transferred back to NOVA and she got a job there - that pays completely for her grad school! NOVA is where a large group of his childhood friends are, and both have college friends. Sort of a funny aside… You know my kids are both in the same apartment building. Well when S2/FDIL2 were visiting, FDIL2 met her 2 friends in the foyer. They were moving into the same building! It’s one big happy family, lol…
I’m guessing he’s not crazy about the town because of politics, size, not knowing anyone? While you can’t completely escape the first, I would guess that at his employer, there will be lots of younger, highly educated people who won’t fit the stereotype. I know of two people there that don’t fit that type, though one is not young anymore! 
Is this S the Eagle Scout? He will be so close to so many amazing hikes! Sharp Top, Devil’s Marbleyard are within an hour. I’m jealous. It takes us an extra hour… And also being a civil, he would appreciate the blue ridge tunnel - I wouldn’t call it a “hike” as it’s a gravel rail trail. But it’s really neat. You must bring a flashlight, as it’s completely dark about 50 feet inside.
Also - the train goes right through town. Is the train easily available up in the MA town?
My son had a long distance GF from end of HS all the way to the end of college. They saw each other maybe every 2-3 months in person and at their own expense. They had what seems to be a great relationship but my son also had his own social life and friends. As did she. It actually seemed to work just fine. Honestly, might be better than jumping into a close, constant in-person relationship where there can be little incentive to branch out and meet new people.
My daughter was in a long distance relationship and also moved to a brand new place. She still made it a priority to meet new people and get involved in her community. She ended up meeting people at work, her gym, a local hiking group, and her alumni network.
I think I’ve seen you post about where he’s moving. Apologies if I’m mixing it up with somewhere else, but if it’s anywhere near Roanoke there is an airport there and Roanoke is a train hub. Lots of trains go through there so maybe she could take a train and he could drive to pick her up.
Thank you for the replies and reassurances everyone!
@ClassicMom98 - his main issue with the town is just the size. He’s a city kid at heart. He loves the energy of cities, the activities of cities. He’s lived in Worcester the last four years, but fell in love with Boston. This new town is not that. Like, he loves going to electronic dance music shows, which he can find, pretty easily, in cities. It’s unlikely he’ll find them in this town (but maybe in Roanoke or Charlottesville) so I think that’s part of it. The other part is the worrying about not knowing anyone - last summer his employer really didn’t do anything for the interns, and he struggled to meet people in his off hours. He was really lonely for the summer. I’m hopeful that here he’ll do better. His employer DOES do young engineers activities, he’s going to live near the bike paths and wants to join a group that bikes / trains for triathalons etc. He is an Eagle Scout and likes the outdoors - so I think there’s lots that he could enjoy. I just want him to take the time to really experience it. And good call on the train - yes, it is accessible in MA. I mean, you take the train to Boston then transfer, but it’s absolutely doable, that’s how he’s been coming home for most of college.
@anotheroboemom - thank you for the reassurance! Given how busy both of these young people will be, and how not easy or fast the distance is, I suspect every 2-3 months would be probably where they are too. I’m glad to hear that your son did well with building his life in his own location too - that’s really what I want. I have no issues with this girl, or really any girl, as long as he doesn’t closet himself in his apartment and not try to make his place in his new location.
@momofboiler1 - thank you for the it-can-be-done vote of confidence! This is what I’m hoping for him too. Find some people, get involved, don’t be sad and alone. His alumni network is a wee tiny fraction of what your daughter’s would be, particularly if he’s outside of New England, but the rest of this - people at work, gym, hiking group - all of that sounds very plausible for him.
@Sweetgum - yep, you are remembering correctly. His town is about an hour from Roanoke and it in fact has an airport. But it’s a TINY airport, so not so much in the way of flights. But yes, train or plane to Roanoke, heck, it’s only three hours from Dulles which has plenty of flights, and probably only a couple hours from Richmond, so that’s doable. Anyhoo, we’ll see where this goes. I just hope he doesn’t spend all his time (and money) going back and forth and that he allows himself to find some joy in his new town. Heck, I’m probably borrowing trouble for nothing (I am that person who is always worried about something). I’m hoping if I get it out here, and don’t let this bubble over to home and my S, that I can mentally work it out and get over it and put it away and be done.
I think we could do a whole thread on the joys and challenges of seeing our adult kids develop relationships. It is not easy because it is ultimately up to them to love and learn. But still hurts our parent hearts when they get hurt or learn by mistakes.
Son’s college is about the ???last one for graduation on 5/29Friday.
He had his last Final on Monday.
Made him get a haircut: ‘but you said I didn’t need to get a haircut once I secured a job’.
He used AI to mock a terrible haircut and I completely fell for it. He didn’t let me know for HOURS while I was kicking myself sending him to some barber I found online (great reviews).
Hub and I woke up at 3:15am for our family graduation sunrise photo shoot. LOVE the results. Son even smiled in a few pictures.
Walgreens had a coupon for 11x14 for only $1.99, so I jumped on it and blew up one of his face to do a Fathead on a stick
Son is actually participating in Senior Week; there’s something fun each day 5/20-5/27:
– Kayaking on the Charles River on a beautiful day
– SKYDIVING yesterday! I know! I was nervous and excited for him: he loved it!
Graduation ONE on Thursday (both grad and undergrad),
and Undergraduate on Friday - walk across stage.
NYC housing:
Option 1: live in way upper West side at his Uncle’s completely renovated apartment for $1300/month including all utilities, easy train ride to work (~45min total), no contract needed
Option 2: get an apartment with 2 classmates (starting to become friends) BUT friends start work in July/Son starts in September: so eat the cost of 2 months rent (about $7000 total) so he can live with friends, closer to work (about 30min total). Need 1st month/last month/security for 1 yr contract.
What if it turns out it’s not a great roommate or apartment location (bad-noisy neighbors, etc) but he’s contracted for 1yr.
He can save over $26K in 1 year with Option 1.
In the end, it’s only money; he can always make more. But it may be good to have immediate friends to hang out with/explore the city. (Son’s been to NYC about 100 times).
Ugh I would totally have trouble with all the money but if he can swing it I’d definitely encourage him to live with friends in the better location. You’re only young once!
Graduation Sunday for us. 50’s and raining is the forecast right now 
. But it will be fine!
My S22 is spending just shy of four weeks in Thailand and Vietnam with two friends. After 28 hours of travel, they got there around 1 in the morning (Eastern time, noon there) on Thursday morning. And by noon my time Thursday I had already gotten a text from him - “what do I do if I think I have strep throat?” I found him a walk in clinic that seemed like an urgent care that is in the area of his AirBnB that is known to treat American expats and to have english speaking medical professionals, reminded him of his allergies to several antibiotics, and told him to go to bed (it was like 11:30PM there) since it could just be exhaustion from travelling and all the dry airplane area. Well, he text me after he woke up for the day that it hadn’t gotten better, still hurt, he could barely sleep, so he was going to the doctor. Then he texted after that to tell me no strep (but also no tests run?) but the doc thinks its basically a bad cold and post nasal drip all aggravated by the travel and exhaustion. Let’s hope so. This is NOT the way to start a four week trip so far away with so much hiking and physical activity planned!
We’re done celebrating with D22! Soggy weather last night and today, but such fun enjoying the festivities. Some excellent speeches, such as by Dr Eappes, astronaut. She had great videos of her time in space. Compared UMD / support of families & friends to rocket launch complex. Encouraged grads to blast off.
S22 is moving to the east coast and is really sad about missing the bay area and his friends. No travel for him either - he is starting first week of June and his GF is starting right after memorial day AND she is staying back on the west coast.
Didn’t help that he spent the last few days helping his best buddies move into their loft in downtown SF. He is the only person from the group not staying back and is having a pretty hard time of it. nothing i can say seems to help. Sigh
Graduation was long as D got BS and MS degrees in two ceremonies and had a third ceremony for a different honor. Congrats to her, summa cum laude, two degrees and has already passed part of her professional license exam before graduating. She seems sad about her college days ending. Her college seems a bit underrated, including on College Confidential, but she maximized every opportunity and is on her way to an enviable first job. The internet is a mixed bag, I think.
D22 graduated last weekend outdoors in the rain. The ceremony was lovely, just very wet. We were so happy to meet four of her professors after the ceremony. (One of whom hadn’t taught there in three years, but came back to see my D graduate.) Over the course of the weekend we got to meet many of her friends’ parents (we had already met many friends).
She could not have had a better college experience. And in my wildest dreams, I could not have imagined how amazing it would be for her in terms of academics, social, sport. The hard part now is that the friends are scattering across the US and the world. I told her she is in a great position being in Chicago. Two big airports, connected to everything, and right in between the friends on both coasts.
We packed up everything she owned after graduation and drove it back across the country. She will be home for a couple weeks and then head to South Korea for a couple weeks with one of her roommates. We will have her back at home for a couple weeks before she moves into a cute apartment in the city with her roommate from her study abroad. (Don’t get me started in the Chicago rental market – – that process is horrible! But we figured it out.)
She doesn’t start work for almost 3 months, so this is the last real summer of fun and freedom. I’m just so happy for her.
S22 graduated a couple weeks ago from Fordham. We took the local D train up to the Bronx for the ceremony, and it was the perfect way to go — a festive vibe with local students dressed in their regalia getting on at various stops along the way and getting congratulated by the other riders. We had never been to the Bronx campus previously (S22 attends the Lincoln Center campus) and it was really beautiful. Ceremony was outdoors and took 4.5 hours total! We all got sunburned despite sunscreen. Oh well, it was lovely.
S22 now at home (as well as D25.) S22 going to do some various part time jobs for local theaters, then hopes to be a NALCAP English language assistant in Spain starting in the fall.
Best wishes to all our ‘22 grads!!
I mentioned upthread that S22 and two friends were taking an epic postgrad trip to Thailand and Vietnam which started with him thinking he was sick. Good news, he wasn’t seriously sick (virus + 28 hours of travel + feeling badly for a few days). Great news, they are having an amazing time. He doesn’t text often, but when he does he’s raved about the food, the beauty of the landscape, and the amazing experiences they are having. They are nearly ready to leave Thailand and head to Vietnam (tomorrow) but I wanted to share two photos from yesterday, because they are just beautiful.
They are having such an amazing time! I hope these are fantastic core lifelong memories for them!
