Re: financial hazing-- S23 is a sophomore at Dartmouth and just pledged and was initiated into a fraternity last quarter. No financial hazing there, although there were some activities I’m glad I didn’t hear about until they were over. . .
Re: fraternities - I’ll just note that they can vary a lot based on not just campus but also fraternity. My older boy is in a fraternity and it is very very different from the stereotype. Part of that is the school (he’s at WPI, a smallish STEM school) and part of it is the specific fraternity - yes, they have parties and there is drinking. But their population is not what you think of - they are known as the “gay friendly” fraternity and have had transgender brothers and they have a higher than average for campus percentage of asian/south asian members. They serve hard seltzer along with beer because they have members who have gluten intolerances. The older brothers organize a resume review and interview prep process for the younger brothers, and they run info sessions for the younger brothers about the available options for junior year research project abroad. Pledges get assigned jobs like everybody else, but every brother has to help with cleaning, managing parties etc. There are always designated sober brothers who are on duty during parties to make sure everyone is being safe and they take that job seriously.
I’m sure the older brothers ask the pledges to take them to lunch sometimes, but I think that’s more in the way of - hey, do you have meal swipes you aren’t using (the answer is always yes, no freshmen use all their meal swipes), then why don’t you take me to lunch - and not so much of a shakedown kind of thing. In terms of cost, S22 tells me that the longest meetings they have of the year are the budget meetings - they really scrutinize the budget and proposed expenses and do what they can to keep costs down. They have a number of brothers who are not particularly well-off and they are very cognizant of the need to keep dues and fees low enough for those guys to be able to afford.
I’m not saying that they are angels, I’m sure there’s also plenty of things that I wouldn’t love, but I wanted to make sure there as an example out there of the other side of the coin. And I am likewise sure that there are a lot of fraternities out there that have practices that are not good and that I would be very unhappy with - so like with everything, I think this is a case by case, school by school, chapter by chapter kind of thing. So if your son is interested in rushing, just encourage him to do some research first - look at the fraternity instagram pages, talk with upperclassmen and remember that you don’t have to rush freshman year if you aren’t sure.
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I’m very curious about the degree to which this is a school culture vs individual frat culture thing. In other words, do most/all schools with Greek life have frats that are healthier?
I didn’t partake in this scene as an undergrad (Princeton had frats and sororities but they didn’t have houses and mostly just seemed like feeder systems to a subset of more rejective eating clubs) but I’m generally leery of a school where the social scene is completely dominated by frats/sororities. The Mama Bear in me reads about this hazing stuff (and the culture of sexual assault that my niece at Trinity College described to me) and thinks “oh HELL to the no.” I guess if S25 ends up at a place like WPI I want to keep an open mind.
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From extremely small sample size, I think it’s a combo. For example, I know there are some fraternities at WPI that are more “stoner” and heavier drinkers, but I also know that the one my kid is in isn’t the only one that is more like guys just hanging out in a reasonably healthy way. And a million years ago I went to a pretty nerdy school (William & Mary) and was in a sorority - and I’d say mine was more chill than some of the other houses (we didn’t drink as much at all - while some sisters did, it wasn’t a big deal if you didn’t drink and we had a pretty sizeable proportion of fairly religious sisters - and I know of three from the class under me that are now ministers of some sort). So maybe at the more geeky schools it’s easier to find a social cohort that are also like that?
There are also service fraternities at most schools that I think tend to be co-ed, at least with the example I’m familiar with they still have parties, but also have community service kind of requirements. (And of course there are “professional” fraternities, like business fraternities, but I think those are less about socializing in a party sense and more about working on networking kind of events.)
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About fraternities, hope my message didn’t come off as critical of them. I was in a fraternity myself (albeit at a state school) and was supportive of my kid’s decision to join. I visited his house in Hanover and they seemed like good kids. Overall, I think that fraternities (so long as they have solid policies in place) can be a positive thing. I still have many great friends from those days.
No! It didn’t come off critical at all. There was a recent general thread that had a very “fraternities are inherently bad” kind of vibe, so I’m probably reacting to that a bit. I also think it’s easy to see the drinking, and the serious hazing issues make the news and is something that a lot of people are familiar with. But I don’t think everyone sees or hears about some of the positives. People talk about the lifelong friendships and, while that certainly happens, that’s not always true either. (I didn’t have that super close bond with my sorority sisters that some people had - like I see on facebook that some of my “sisters” are clearly still super close with others and have those lifelong friendships that people talk about. That wasn’t me.) So I just like to put out there that there are lots of potential advantages, and that parents shouldn’t be scared of greek organizations but to encourage their kids to go looking at it with their eyes open to potential positives and negatives.
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Right:
- The University of California San Diego is, as one might expect from its name, a UC
- San Diego State University is a CSU
- The University of San Diego is private (Catholic, specifically)
Just a service to confuse the tourists and the freshmen, I suppose.
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…and each of them uses a different application form, just for fun.
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And just to further confuse things some/most of the California State Universities use CSU (examples: CSULB and CSUN) while San Diego uses SDSU.
It’s enough to confuse everyone! And I live here.
And I did not even know that there was a private called University of San Diego.
My apologies for adding to the confusion! 
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No idea but I can vouch for both W&L and Trinity U. Both have frats that are healthier, less to no hazing, and more accepting of diversity. They also both have the opposite.
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It can be very confusing- a lot of people aren’t aware of USD- the small Jesuit school.
I think San Francisco state, San Jose state and San Diego State are the only campuses to put their location first. The other campuses put Cal State first in the name, then location, like Cal State Long Beach (CSULB)
And of course there are the Cal Poly’s- now 4 of them, also part of the Cal state system.
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Also Sonoma State. A really pretty school north of SF with a beautiful music building 
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SLO, Pomona, Humboldt and ..?
(Quick to add that by Pomona I mean CPP and not the LAC, on the subject of confusing colleges…)
There’s a brand new one called the Maritime Academy - I think that’s the name
Looks like it won’t be officially switched over to Cal Poly until 2026.
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Oh yes- forgot about Sonoma State! A really lovely one!
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A Dartmouth fraternity was the basis for the Delta House in Animal House……
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University of San Diego is on a beautiful hilltop campus. And as mentioned above a Jesuit school.
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University of San Diego is Catholic, but not one of the 27 colleges and universities in the US that are Jesuit.
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And during that era, there was a frat – I believe that one – that had the nickname of “Boom boom Lodge.” Some of their antics were funny but in questionable taste.
I know! Discovered that after my kid had accepted there. Happily, his group seems to be pretty sensible. On a related note (for anyone who’s considering the college), I’ll share that the academics at the school are outstanding: all courses taught by profs, and taught at a very high level.