Interestingly our school has seen a couple of these top students go to our local-ish private schools known for college bumps (like Athenian and College Prep), and then return to our public school after a year or two. I don’t know the families well enough to ask why.
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Def depends on the school. We have friends who sent their kids to Menlo School and it was fine and heard horror stories from Harker. One friends who lives and dies by top schools had his kids at Harker and they both went to MIT so it works.
However one had 10 or 12 APs by the time she was a sophomore which was nuts imo. Made me realize I was not in the same level in terms of trying to get kids into college.
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It is a little dated - but the documentary ‘Race to Nowhere’ is a decent watch. Can help ground some of us parents that are getting swept up in all of this college application stuff.
Our high school has a showing of this the start of every year for incoming freshman and their families.
This along with the ‘Operation Varsity Blues: College Admissions Scandal’ movie helped keep me a bit more grounded than I am inclined to be by my own competitive personality 
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I just think we need to be cautious about drawing conclusions about whether some strategy “works” just because kids got in somewhere.
My son’s friend who attends MIT is a very funny (he could be a comedian!), energetic and self motivated kid who took advantage of what our public HS had to offer. His parents were relatively hands off. Should I say this strategy “works”? If he had gone to the same school as your friend’s kids, he might have ended up in the same place, or maybe not. Likewise with your friend’s kids, if they had gone to our public school, they might have ended up in the same place, or maybe not. (They are probably great kids, too.)
However, one thing I CAN say is that nobody-- not the kid, not the parents, not the friends-- nobody believes that my son’s friend was admitted to MIT because of expensive paid help. I’m not sure I would want to be a kid starting at a challenging college and thinking that’s why I got in. It’s easy enough for these kids to have imposter syndrome as it is.
So it makes me uncomfortable when I hear stories like @beefeater’s friend taking credit for their kid being admitted (even if it’s at least partly joking). I hope that isn’t a message their kid is internalizing!
(Edited to add… and now I’m thinking about kids who get all the help, but then end up not getting in to the top schools their parents were targeting. That doesn’t sound like a good psychological situation for a kid, either.)
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In the universe of “Where should my kid go to college?”, based on where you live, there can be very VERY different areas of focus in how people answer that question.
In some metro areas, there can be almost a crazy level of focus & pressure by parents to get their kids into an elite university, with it even going so far as “If we want The Child to go to Harvard, we need to pay $30-$60k/yr for this private school. Otherwise, Child’s adult life is doomed and Child will be a loser in a dead end job with no future.”
In other areas, there can be a intense focus on high school sports, with the ultimate goal/prize being that The Child will get a big scholarship to play their sport in college. ALL sports are kind of part of this insanity somewhere. Football, basketball, softball/baseball, soccer, track & field, swimming, whatever the sport is. There are insane sports parents who spend MANY years of their kids’ childhood dragging the kid(s) to away/travel games, spending lots of $$ on private coaching & skills training outside of regular practice, signing their kid(s) up for the year-round club team(s) in their area so that by the time kid(s) are in high school, they’re already playing at a really high ability level. And a LOT of those parents think, naively, that if their kid is good enough at the sport, their kid will get a full ride scholarship to college.
Sometimes, by the time the kid gets to college, the kid ends up totally burned out on the sport. OR they pick their college because they like Coach X the best, but after a year or 2, Coach X leaves and Coach Y comes in and Coach Y is a butthead. OR the student gets injured and can’t play the sport anymore and guess what? There goes your athletic scholarship. Hope you can afford to pay the extra cost.
In other areas, there can be an intense focus on only attending the in-state public universities. Sometimes to the point where well-intended (but uninformed) parents will say with a look of disdain on their face (plus you can hear it in their tone of voice), “Huh, why is Son/Daughter going to ‘Out Of State Or Private College?’ What’s wrong with ‘Favorite In State Public?’” And if you choose to NOT attend Favorite In State Public College/University, there is something wrong with you. These tend to also be people who are in the camp of “If it’s a college I haven’t heard of, it must not be very good.”
From what I’ve experienced, there’s snobbery among some parents in all of these groups. I’ve also decided after many trips around the sun that I don’t give a flying fart about other people’s opinions of the choices my kids make…because there’s many flavors of ice cream out there. Not everybody likes chocolate or vanilla. Some like fudge ripple. Others like raspberry or lemon sorbet. Some like chocolate chip.
So if a family wants to spend $15,000 on a college counselor and they can afford that? Hey, go for it. That’s not my flavor of ice cream, but that’s ok.
If a family tells their kid, “You’re only allowed to live at home, go to community college, and then transfer to Close In State Public U,” hey, go for it. That’s not the flavor of ice cream for everybody, but that’s ok.
It’s hard to realize sometimes when you live in a small microcosm with just your kid’s high school community that there’s a much bigger world out there, and things don’t always operate out there like the rumors your kid hears about at HS, that many times, if your student ends up having to take a frontage road or detour to get to their destination, it’s still going to be ok.
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Re: crazy sports parents -
Back when my kids were in elementary & early middle school, they did year round swimming. Even when D24 was only 10 years old, there were some parents who were talking about THEIR kid was going to get a full ride scholarship to swim at Big Name U. We’d just smile & nod. One mom in particular was so intense that every time she’d switch her kid to a different team, she’d introduce her kid to the new coach with “Hi Coach ___, this is Child’s Name. She’s going to the Olympics.” 
That kid is now in college and is not part of a swim team in college.
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But also it’s not always the ticket. A friend of mine in the northeast had his daughter go to one of the top schools (one of the ones you see mentioned on CC), and she ended up at GWU, which is a fine school but not exactly top tier. She got rejected from NYU the same year D19 got admitted.
Good grief, I’ve seen so much of this over the least decade.
What I have learned about the sports recruiting process if that if you’re not amongst the top athletes in the nation, recruiting is a lot of work. No one comes knocking on your door.
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excellent typology @sbinaz 
Our area falls in between crazy sports adulation and quasi religious reverence for the state flagship. D22 was a recruitable athlete that was pursued by coaches but did not want to continue sport in college. That was maybe still understandable but choosing a T50 private over the state flagship was seen as arrogant (not surprisingly, as here most sals and vals also go to the state flagship).
The student that got the most applause at her class awards banquet was the football player with the scholarship to an SEC school (he just got drafted to an NFL team) .
There is a small group of parents in the area that aim for Ivy+ schools but from those that I see, they are mostly college professor or/and immigrant families.
Welcome to SEC country 
!
I enjoy reading about all the regional differences about college culture here on CC (and am honestly happy for my kids that we don’t live in an Ivy or bust area, it makes for a more relaxed high school experience)
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FYI, registration is open for all 2025-26 SAT test dates. Note there is a new Sept test date for the SAT as well (Sept 13)
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Oh it’s definitely a case of raise the floor but the ceiling remains the same which is frustrating for some parents. Trying to project the future is impossible no one knows what will be needed or big 20 years from now and I for one don’t try to put the kids on any particular path. Just ask them to do their best that’s about the most any of us can ask.
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I’m in an area where pretty much every kid goes to an in-state college -or if they are ‘adventurous’ the state next door. A lot of those kids don’t realize there are even other options. I have a kid who wants to go ‘anywhere but here’ --so I’ve had to do A LOT of research to find some options for her that are affordable. (Appreciate CC’s input -it’s been really helpful.) We do oddly -usually have ONE kid every year who goes to an Ivy and one other to a LAC – but otherwise it’s in-state. And honestly - I get it - our instate schools are a good education for the money -and it works well for many many kids. I just remember being the kid forced to go to my in-state and it was NOT a good fit -so I have a lot of sympathy for kids who ‘want to go anywhere but here’. I just wish it wasn’t ‘state school or bust’ or ‘T20 or bust’ – I wish that there was a focus on ‘what’s a good fit for THIS kid’.
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We are lucky in the fact that D26 is happy with the in-state schools (or Ireland )
She is STEM/Engineering focused, and we have 2 really exceptional in-state options:
CU Boulder and Colorado school of Mines.
I am encouraging her to look more outward just to see the other options- but she seems hesitant. She has a great profile- so she would be competitive at many schools. But at the same time- why pay more for out of state if there are really good options that she is happy with?
Her choices do make me laugh- she is either in-state or out of country. No in between for her!! lol.
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Some OOS options may turn out to be comparable in price after merit.
It can be nice to have choices 
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I have told her that she needs to pick at least 2-3 other options that are out of state.
Not that she would have to go if she is accepted into one of her top choices. I just want to make sure she does in fact have options. Lots can change between now and next year.
(On Free common app apply day she will be applying to most of the other in-state schools as a safety)
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What is “Free common app apply day”? Is this a CO thing? (Do other states have this? )
I don’t know if other states do this?
In Colorado- they have a 3 day period (usually in October) that in-state schools that utilize the common app waive application fees.
D26 will be applying to her top choices before that- and then save the in-state safeties for that time period to save a bit of $$.
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Colorado IS beautiful – I can see why someone would want to stay there! And really -those are excellent school options! My daughter also has Ireland on her list. UCD or UL (Limerick) or somewhere else?
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And Junior year is in the books. S26 had his last finals on Tuesday and then his friend group decided to skip yesterday and today (last day of school). Now on to ACT studying.
Also, the school district published the 25-26 calendar and graduation will be May 8, 2026. Sigh of relief for me, as that is a week before D22’s likely college graduation. We should be in the clear for our double graduation next year.
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I have a question about recommendation letters. Most people say its good to have from a STEM teacher and a humanities teacher. But what if both are STEM teachers. In S26’s case, the teachers that he has interacted with most are STEM. So ideally he should be asking them. But I am not sure if that’s ok. Other option is he asks his history teacher from sophomore year. But someone told us that’s also not recommended. It should preferably be someone from junior year.
What would you guys suggest?