It’s been a very long 16 months. I’ll be so relieved when December comes around.
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I have similar concerns about UT Dallas, which @sbinaz mentioned, too. Less because of the pure numbers, but more because I’ve seen a bunch of Reddit posts complaining that the campus is too quiet, full of introverts, not very social, no one talks to each other, people leave after class and drive home, etc.
But then, there are quite a few positive comments here at CC – so, I guess it’s just something we’ll have to go see for ourselves. I’d like to take D26 to one of their scholar days, but they’re not at the most convenient times for us, unfortunately.
Still, the major they offer is very closely aligned with what D26 wants to study, and the scholarship package is too good to ignore. (Plus, there’s a slim chance that D22 will end up there for grad school, so that would be wild.)
It does give me pause, though.
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Off topic, but nothing strikes fear in a parent’s heart like her college freshman texting, “Hey are you gonna be around at 9:15? I would like to call. Something happened today.”
Oy. I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. But he’s tied up with some activity until then.
Gah. 
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Is UTDallas fairly central /easy transport links to get to stuff? I think that can make a difference, obviously assuming there are enough kids from the dorms to find friends to go with. (I don’t know anything about Dallas other than its airports, but I assume there is enough going on to keep college kids entertained.) Maybe also swayed by D19’s experience at NYU where all the fun stuff was done in the city anyway. C26 would have zero interest in Greek life, so the absence of that is not an issue.
I’m really not familiar – I’m not sure I’ve ever been to Dallas. But from what I understand, it’s very similar to Atlanta, and the university is located in a suburb. So probably not exactly where the kids go out, and I doubt there’s public transportation.
I’m sure it’s nothing like NYU, lol. (I had SO much fun living in an NYU dorm one college summer!) But, I’m choosing not to worry about it for now – we’ll just wait until acceptances come back, then go visit everywhere we can (again), and D26 can fret about it then. 
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Ah, ok. The school I’m thinking of for c26 has a fairly central campus and good transport links (according to Reddit, anyway).
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Turns out it was just some friend group drama, and he needed to vent. He’s fine. People were being crappy, and he’s learning how to navigate college friendships.
Good grief, kids should know better than to do that to their mothers, lol.
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Will be able to answer that question in about 3 weeks. D26 and I are going to do a drive-through (not enough time to do a campus tour). Based on what I can tell from Google Maps, I think the answer is no.
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Yep. The same way that when the school calls you, the first thing they say is “X is fine…” kids should do the same. “Mom, I’m fine but …”
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Read through the DCUrbanMom site where the Selingo book was linked for a bit. Wow, people are terrible over there compared to this site. Lots of mean, snarky, sarcastic, and plain arrogant commentary. Trashing schools that aren’t the highest ranked ones also seems ubiquitous. Made me appreciate the generally supportive community dialogue here that much more.
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Oh gosh, I think we may have spoken about that site before here? It’s kind of scary it can be so vicious. It’s quite possible there are parents like this everywhere of course, but that forum makes them very visible there.
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oh, UBMom. Back when D22 was a baby, we lived in NYC and I stumbled on the NYC site. It was probably the most fun I ever had on an anonymous forum. The women were smart, witty, occasionally razor-tongued but ultimately caring. There were threads that had me crying with laughter. I even met the woman who became my best friend on an UBMom blind date. I was a freelance writer at the time, and she worked part-time. We lived two blocks from each other in Park Slope and our kids were 18 months. My life would have been so different had we not met on that crazy site. I still check in on it once in a while and I agree, it has gone south like many online forums—also, a sign of the times.
I’m grateful for the supportive nature of this site too!!
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That’s a shame. I’ve never read through that site – just found Selingo’s list there through googling – and now I won’t!
I used to think CC was mostly for parents/kids looking for elite schools – and there is a bit of a bubble here, because it’s very easy to read through posts and think everyone has a 4.0 and perfect scores and stellar activities – but after being here for some time, you realize that there are all kinds of students represented, and most people posting are parents who just want to find the best (and most affordable) fit for their kids.
I have definitely felt supported even with three different kids who landed/searched for three wildly different types of schools.
I’m still giggling, though, about the war I started when D22 was making her final decision between Rice and Emory – that thread got out of hand with people arguing about which school had the better reputation. 
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A Google result for Boulder popped up from there a while back. Something sneery like -“ everyone gets in there, even the kids in special ed at my kid’s school.” It reminded me why I stopped looking at it back from D19’s day. I get being proud of your kid getting into a tippy-top - it’s an amazing achievement - but surely most parents can do that without thinking they have to also trash the schools that 99% of college kids go to?
I have to say .. I met a new associate at our firm the other day. Nice kid, but his background (DC area private school, one ivy for undergrad, another for masters) did make me wonder if his mom was on that forum!!
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I love this, because I’ve found two different communities like that online – one was an old GardenWeb forum where women were trying to get pregnant, lol – a group of 20 or so of us broke off and formed a private group, and we’ve been close friends ever since. I think there are only a couple of women out of that group that I still haven’t met in person. We used to have annual get-together weekends before life got insane.
The other was TwinStuff (I have twins, lol) – it was started by a identical twin guys who married identical twin women, and they had a double wedding and then moved in next door to each other (no, really). The forums were fantastic – and saved my sanity – and I met so many people. We had a private board there which was created just as a place to argue hot-button topics. 
Alas, the founders sold the site, and everyone I knew left – but I’m still friends with many of them on FB. Including about eight women who had twins within a week of mine – and one who lives across the country who had her B/G twins the same day as mine. We met up with them once on vacation, and it was so fun.
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That got me to go search it out… +/- 30 minutes down the rabbithole.
I think it’s a great example of how some folks get so silo-ed in their own communities (neighborhoods, peer friend groups or online) that it becomes a soundproofed echo chamber. and then they are genuinely astounded when they run into multiple examples of things that fly directly in the face of what they ‘know to be true facts’.
One thread talking about how a kid with a high school3.88 UWGPA can’t possibly be ‘gifted’, so there’s no way they are going T10 or T 25…I have grad degrees in both business and science/medicine. Some of the absolute brightest minds I’ve come across were somewhat above average HS GPA students who were so very bored or uninspired by their HS curriculum, and even ‘struggled’ in their first year college Gen Ed courses but then they found some specific subject material interesting or challenging and suddenly they’re light years in front of the previously anointed ‘gifted’ students.
Some folks just gotta get out more, breath fresh air, touch live grass.
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D26 has really good stats/profile but after reading through some of these post- I start to worry that her local cc college (with auto admit) won’t take her!!! (exaggerating - but the sentiment is true)
I also hate reading through many of the chance me threads- you have students with really good stats/profiles constantly being told that they are not even going to be looked at at certain reach schools!!! I think many people lose track that you dont need perfect anything for most of these places. Though it helps you out- it does not mean that others will not get in. I have seen some (and I am sure we all have seen) acceptances that would surprise most!
I love the advice of having a diverse list because a reach is a reach for everyone- but never not apply to a school that you want to attend based on internet strangers telling you not too!!! I see that too much on here.
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We had a local area facebook group centred on memes emerge during Covid and some of my best friends came from there.
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I stay away from the Chance Me threads now for that very reason. I have seen way too many young people dragged into an adult argument over whether or not that B in math sophomore year dashes their chances for anything other than their 90 percent acceptance rate safety school. Why do that to kids? They put enough pressure on themselves. I also think that admissions is too unpredictable for anyone to accurately assess chances for most people.
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YES! The funny (read: irritating) thing to me is the rudeness to students. My kid doesn’t know what they don’t know. They’re guessing, and I just try to help. If I actually spoke the way PARENTS respond on the Chance Me’s to my own child, they would never speak to me again, and they’d be RIGHT!
However, there’s usually good information there. It’s just presented with such rudeness. I’ve actually had to mute a bunch of people on this site so that I don’t have to see their vitriol.
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