Parents of the HS Class of 2026 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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Interesting. That aspect had not occurred to me.

But, if one was going to assign a nefarious intent to something like this, it would seem to me that such an intent would be to disadvantage a certain ethnic group of US native speaker. Or at least, if I recall correctly, a critique of the SAT was that at one time the verbal portion disadvantaged non-white test takers.

It is conceivable that an intent was to frame the scoring so as to disadvantage test takers from ethnic groups that may outperform other ethnic groups in the math portion. Thereby leveling the playing field that way?

Those seem a little farfetched, but it would be awful if such turned out to be the case.

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I’m not saying it was nefarious intent or that it was done this way by design, just that it seems an implicit advantage to some people by doing it this way.

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D26 now has a Papa Johns interview a week from Saturday. :slight_smile:

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How do you keep your teen on track ? S26 has a ton of stuff due in the next 3-4 weeks, from PSAT, SAT, jazz competition, essays and like clockwork he starts to work on it on Sunday night. It doesn’t matter how many times I remind him or tell him he should schedule time for each thing.

He did the same thing last year and was able to fix some of his grades on finals but really it’s the same story this year, he starts out not paying attention to his classes, gets bad grades starts to focus and stresses out over the last few assignments. If I had a dollar for every time I said “time management” I’d be a millionaire now.

Does anyone have a way to help teens help themselves ?

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At our house, we struggled w/this a lot w/D24. What worked pretty well for her was I forced her to write her daily HW on a white board in our kitchen, along with bigger due dates (like upcoming tests, quizzes, project due dates) in a separate list on same white board. Then each day as she’d complete the HW assignment, she crossed it off the list.

Sort of ended up having to scrap having D24 do any test prep whatsoever for PSAT or SAT. Tried a couple of times and, at least for my kid, it didn’t help one bit and she refused to do any regular practice. So for both of our own sanity in 11th grade, I decided, “Forget it. She’ll apply test optional wherever possible.”

For D26, she has a lot of AP classes (6 this year), missed a lot of school last year because of a lot of illnesses, and is stressed out about not wanting to miss class as much as possible this year. Honestly, D26 doing any prep for the PSAT isn’t going to happen. She’s signed up to take the SAT in early November and she’s going to take it cold, no practice or test prep beforehand. And we’ll see what happens.

But but! But the PSAT in 11th grade is the National Merit scholarship qualifier! Yes, it is. But I highly doubt that my ‘average excellent’ kid (GPA-wise) is going to get National Merit-level score on the PSAT. So we’re focusing our energy elsewhere.

In my opinion, you kind of have to pick your battles. For our family and our situation, the grades come first. Standardized testing is last place at our house. But other people’s mileage may vary and there is not one good answer to the question, that’s for sure!

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No, but this story is very familiar. Two of my three kids are procrastinators — but in slightly different ways. With my oldest, we eventually ended up having to let go and let the natural consequences (bad grades) teach the lesson. Frankly he really didn’t care about his grades anyway. It took until junior year of college for him to really start working….

My second procrastinator is D26. But unlike her oldest brother, she cares about her grades. Unfortunately it is often a last minute scramble (with high drama) to get things done. Towards the end of last year, she realized it was especially hard for her to work at home. Now she goes to the school library at lunch or after school if she has a lot of work.

I have learned to let a lot of things go. Just today I asked D26 if she was going to do corrections on an AP Physics assignment that she got an 85 on (she has an 89.1 in the class). She said nope, too much work. So I said ok. (In my head, I said a few other things — but I bit my tongue!)

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S26 has taken SAT this summer, and he has a good score. Can he apply to NMSQT using SAT score?

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No, I don’t think so. The NM framework is based on the PSAT taken in October of the junior year. It requires a SAT or ACT score to “confirm” the PSAT. There is also a way to qualify for the NM if you are unable to take the PSAT at the appropriate time. But I don’t think having a high SAT score on its own is a qualifier.

Compass Prep does a great job in explaining the process. On the link, there is a sub link explaining “Alternate Entry” which seems like what you are describing. It might work, but it might just be easier to take the PSAT if it is offered at your child’s school (and alternate entry may not be an option if it is offered).

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No.

Must take the PSAT.

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FWIW, D24 stumbled a fair amount in 10th and 11th grade. Got some C’s on her transcript. She’d do stupid stuff like “forget” to turn in ‘easy points’ assignments on time, losing 10% or more by turning them in late…and if you do that often enough, it adds up.

Her high school requires students to use a day planner/communication journal thingy and every teacher writes the day’s assignment, upcoming tests/quizzes/projects on the board and student is supposed to write it down in the day planner/journal. Like, there’s even a checkbox for the student to use so they can check off that each HW is done.

50% of the time in 10th and 11th grade, D24 didn’t write a dang thing in that.

It. DROVE. ME. BANANAS! Seriously, sometimes it felt like we were going to lose our minds over her flat out refusal to do common sense stuff like that.

So out of necessity, I’d ask her to SHOW me what was in the planner/journal. And I followed up with teachers to get a sanity check if some of the stuff she came home saying didn’t make sense. You know, worded in a neutral way to basically say, “Hey, my kid claims ___, is she blowing smoke or is this actually true?” D24 got mad at me when I did that, but she learned after a couple of times that her games weren’t going to work.

D24 made a lot of mistakes in high school. Heck, when she was interviewing for her 1st part time job, she went on, like, a dozen job interviews before she got a job offer and guess what? Every job interview, she’d refuse to listen to my advice. She made almost every mistake in job interviews that you’re not supposed to do. For certain she lost out on opportunities because of that.

However, fast forward to fall of 12th grade and she had interviews at 3 of the colleges she applied to. Our school counselor said that 2 of the interviews were tough and they asked tricky & hard questions, but D24 apparently nailed it with her answers.

My point of all that is to say that you shouldn’t give up home. Eventually, it all sinks into their thick skulls and they learn.

And you know what? The stint she did working at McDonald’s was the best education ever. After 2 weeks, she came home from work one day and said, “Mom, Dad, NOW I KNOW why you guys harp on education so much. OH MY GOSH I do NOT want to be doing something like THAT the rest of my life! THIS SUCKS!”

And my DH & I smiled at each other. When D24 left the room, we high 5’d each other.

So hang in there. It’s hard, but it’ll be worth all of the hassle. For example, D24 got an 88% on her chemistry test last week…and that’s the kid who had to work her butt off for a C+ in honors chemistry in 10th grade.

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S26 has ADHD, takes medication, and it helps during the schools day but homework is a real bear. He forgets, is easily distracted, lies to me about doing stuff, etc.

He has learned a few tough lessons already. He didn’t use the study guide to prep for a math test—got a C. Didn’t pay attention to a physics deadline, had to turn in an unfinished assignment.

This is all with me paying very close attention to everything he has due in his Canvas app. I like the whiteboard idea, @sbinaz. Maybe I will try that.

I told him the other day that he needs to own his work and that I can’t care more than he does. But then I keep checking in on the homework. Mostly bc I know what a nightmare it will be for all of us if he falls too far behind.

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Happy to report that D26 now will be employed at Taco Bell!

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That’s exactly how I feel. Every time he’s getting 90s on assignments and then all of a sudden on a big test or project it’s a 70 or 50/100. And it’s always the same, I didn’t turn the page over, didn’t realize there’s a second part. I thought I submitted it last week but I didn’t click the button and the teacher won’t accept late work. It’s so consistent it drives me nuts. If he didn’t understand the work or had trouble I could deal with it, but this just missing stuff because of a lack of focus is so frustrating.

I will try the whiteboard trick. And yeah maybe instead of an internship this summer he’d be better off doing retail work. I worked as a janitor in high school, it sucked! Funny enough in business school I chatted with a few friends out of a group of 7 of us 4 worked as janitor or cleaners at some point in high school or college. It really motivated us.

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Amen to that! I worked for 2 years of high school as a dishwasher and then a cook in a seafood restaurant. Then I stepped up to bagging groceries my senior year! All the motivation that I ever needed to get my engineering degree.

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We had a lot of similar stuff with X26’s ADHD. Freshman year, ugh. Assignments done found crumpled at the bottom of the bag instead of being handed in, no idea there was a test the next day etc. a combination of meds, EF help at school and it seems, just maturity have fixed a lot of that, meaning as parents we don’t have to be nearly as involved as we were. Possibly , having an aim (a particular college) - a more recent development- has been an incentive too. I’m glad we’re sorting it out now, because it seems a lot of these kids who have heavy parental help flounder at college (from a Facebook group I’m on, this is common). So yes - get the kids on the right track before they go off on their own.

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We had MANY “come to Jesus” discussions w/D24 during 11th grade. Her tenure at the Krusty Krab (McDonald’s) didn’t start until the summer AFTER 11th grade and that’s when she finally ‘saw the light.’ Looking back, I probably should have had her work there sooner, but oh well.

D24 hated me being on her back all the time nagging her and checking up on her. But every time she’d balk at it, I kept telling her basically, “Listen, your prior & recent behavior has demonstrated that you are not keeping track of this, you’re not turning things in consistently & on time, and you are regularly “forgetting” about simple things. You’ve been in this charter school system for several years now and they started teaching organizational skills to you back in 2nd grade. So by now, this should be old hat, yet you now refuse to do it. When you graduate and are off at college, nobody’s going to care if you succeed or not. Your professors will get paid regardless of if you pass or fail. Nobody’s going to care if you actually go to class or not. Nobody’s going to wipe your butt. It’ll be up to you. You can decide to make better choices…or not. But we will not be funding 4 years of college for you to screw around and flunk out. If you don’t get passing grades in college and have to come home, you can figure out how to pay for community college & all of your other college expenses yourself. You’ll also be paying us rent every month in that situation. And you’ll have to pay all of your other expenses yourself. Good luck doing all of that while working a minimum wage job.”

We even made her go through this personal budgeting exercise in order for her to better understand how hard it is to make ends meet just on basic living expenses with a minimum wage job AND going to college part time on top of that.

Many many times, she’d get this deer in headlights look on her face, then she’d get her act together for awhile, bring her grade(s) up, and then she’d start to coast again and would take her foot off the gas. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It was painful.

It eventually, finally sunk in. So far at college, things are going fine. But I’ll tell ya one thing…we were relieved when she ended up picking a small liberal arts college (with a big culture of mentoring) over our large 35,000 undergrad population in-state public university. And at the start of 12th grade, she said that the big in-state public was her #1 pick because “at least I’ll know ONE person from high school there so I’ll have somebody to hang out with.” so her big reason for THAT college being #1 at the time was a fear of not being able to make friends.

The counselor at school even mentioned to me at the time that she was concerned that D24 would get lost in the crowd at a big college like that.

The college she ended up at is an awesome fit for her. My D26 is a totally different type of kid, though, so our search is different for her.

D24 did end up maturing a heck of a lot between start of 11th grade and spring of 12th grade. I’m a big believer in listening to what your gut is telling you. It’s a rough ride, but things will turn out ok in the long run.

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Yea, my oldest has ADHD. No amount of parent-imposed white boards, calendars, or check-ins made any difference. He really had to learn organizational skills through life experience. I couldn’t do it for him.

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That’s me and my kid!
Junior year is not going good so far. As I predicted, AP Lang is kicking his butt. And amount of time he is spending on that is adversely affecting his other subjects! Don’t get me wrong, my kid works hard but he is not able to get a handle on the school work this year. And Its only September! My stress levels are high and that isn’t helping anyone, least of all my kid.

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My D26 can get overwhelmed by all the work and assignments looming in the distance. I ordered her a tear off weekly planner and she updates it every Sunday with all of her assignments for the week and posts it in the kitchen. Somehow seeing everything written out like that makes it seem less overwhelming for her.

We got a lot of stuff done related to college this past weekend. She registered for a tour of a local school for an upcoming Friday that she is off from school. She registered for the 2/8 ACT and the 3/8 SAT. She also registered to do a tour of TCU and UVA over April vacation. DH is taking her because I cannot get off work.

She has a good list of schools going but def needs more likelies. Plus we have no idea what her test scores are going to look like so her list might change. She is also warming up to the idea of staying more local which I love. One kid over 1,000 miles away is enough for me :smiling_face_with_tear:

We had her high school open house last week and neither DH nor I were impressed with her math teacher and history teacher. D26 complained about them the first week of school and I am sad to say everything she said is spot on. We signed her up for weekly math tutoring to supplement and also start some ACT/SAT math review. I really wish all her schools on the list were test optional so she would not have to worry about testing at all.

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I hear ya. D26’s Spanish teacher this year leaves a lot to be desired. In fact, here we are almost at the end of month 2 of 11th grade, and she hasn’t learned ANYTHING new in Spanish. And this is AP Spanish. Like, no new vocabulary or anything. It’s ridiculous, to be honest. So I’m not going to have her take the AP Spanish test in May…am going to have her do the CLEP exam instead and she’s using the Spanish class on www.modernstates.org to prep for that.