Our daughter is simply worn out. Exhausted… Burned out… She’s trying really hard to keep it together and is holding her own.
At this point, I may be more anxious for it to come to an end than she is.
Point blank… she’s tougher than I ever was at that age. I would of crumbled.
Agreed. These kids are handling so much more than we did back in the day.
Props to them.
And wine for us. We can do this.
OMG. “Regular” students, not black or Hispanic.
Good grief. I hope that daughter went far away from the mother for college!
Yeah, I totally wanted to kick San Diego Mom’s butt.
San Diego Mom was also really bothered by the Native American tribal lands affirmation statement that U of A makes at the start of every single admissions presentation (NAU & ASU do the same). AZ resident students who are a member of a Native American tribe receive a scholarship which covers all tuition & fees.
Plus, U of A is, like, 40% Hispanic students. If you wanted a lesson in how to look like a butthead, just look at that parent. 
In the words of D26, “So…THAT was a choice!” 
Ok so I did a cursory check on College Board and closest 6/7 SAT test site with spots available in 17 miles away. I’m going to risk it and postpone signing her up.
S26 was also pretty indifferent about college and visits. Until about last week, when something happened, not 100% what exactly it was. But my laid back child is maybe slowly developing something approaching ambition?!
My guess is that it was the ACT they took at school a few weeks back. Results came out last week and his score is ok. It’s enough to qualify for our state’s highest level merit scholarship and for decent scholarships with our regional publics. BUT a couple of his best buds had slightly higher scores and I think he doesn’t like this. So he suggested he take the ACT again this summer 
I was floored. I’m not sure it is worth it though. Because in order to make a significant difference in merit money and acceptances, he would have to improve by five points. I don’t think he has it in him to study hard enough to get to that. But maybe he will surprise me 
He has developed an obsession with Ole Miss, no idea why (it’s not any better than our flagship LSU). But Ole Miss will only be affordable with that much higher ACT score. I scheduled a tour during spring break and he is definitely starting to get invested in our spring break college tour trip.
On another note, we had prom last weekend and S26 didn’t go but went to an after party at a friend’s house. His best friend spend the night and we started to talk about college. He already knows where he wants to go, the furthest away in state school from us. It is a good school for his major, but his main reason is that it is far away from his parents, who are very controlling. He is a really sweet guy, who doesn’t need much controlling, because he is a good kid (the whole friend group is). Upon hearing this my husband later asked S26 almost panicky if S26 also feels he needs to get away from us 
. His answer “no, you give me enough independence”. We are pretty free range 
Mine toured Duke last year just for funsies because they were already in the area looking at Elon and she was like “OMG the kids and parents on the Duke tour were beyond obnoxious- telling the tour guide their kids stats and number of AP classes and asking how they compare, etc.”. She is definitely glad that we do not say anything ON the tour, but she is annoyed by my husband who unfortunately is the one exclusively taking her due to my work schedule - he is very opinionated about things and says it right away and then asks her a zillion questions about what she thought, etc. I got a LOT of annoyed texts from her last year when they were touring. I made her a sheet for this time around to jot things down after each tour and told my husband to not say anything until she offers her thoughts or opinions and asks him what he thinks.
And with it all in their faces all the time! Thanks to social media, Snapchat, etc. they see everything and feel like if they are not doing it too there is something wrong. It is so hard with college admissions stuff and post high school plans.
Your H and my H must be cut from the same cloth or something. Because my husband behaves the same way on college tours.
We learned this all the hard way with D24. I should have known he would be like that but my brain must have been in la la land or something. Because during D24’s 11th grade, we went on road trips to:
And OH. MY. GOSH. was he opinionated. It almost became comical. Stuff like:
Didn’t learn our lesson about that until we’d done both of the NM college tours…and D24 pulled me aside and asked for help in getting Dad to shut up about his opinions.
So by the time we visited the TX colleges, he was still intense but not quite as much. And he’d at least kept his mouth shut about his opinions until D24 had voiced her own ideas.
…this is all why I was the one who took D26 to tour Univ of Arizona and why DH did not join us.
DH is going w/D26 & I in a couple of weeks when we tour Embry Riddle University in Prescott, AZ. DH has already promised to keep the intensity to a low roar and to not voice any of his opinions until after D26 has had some time to think about it. 
One suggestion I’ve used from I can’t remember where I got this suggestion is to ask The Child (when you’re in the car on the way back from the tour) to name 3 things they liked about the college and 3 things they didn’t like. Jot those down somewhere (because your kid will forget what those 3 things were later on). Ask The Child to explain why they picked each of the 3 things. And you, the parent, doesn’t say much. You mostly just listen. But it’s ok to offer up some of your own thoughts to maybe expand a little bit on what The Child said.
And so far, this technique has worked out really well.
For example, when we were on our way home from the UNM tour, D24’s 3 likes were:
UNM’s 3 dislikes:
NMSU she didn’t like because:
Centre College likes:
Centre College dislikes:
Honestly, we all loved Centre College. I’m still sad that she didn’t pick that school. And I’m sad that D26 won’t be applying (since she wants to major in cybersecurity). Centre also has some really excellent 1st Gen programs and great scholarships for a wide range of students.
ASU (which is in our metro area) was a big fat no because “it’s too big, it’s too close to home, and Daddy wants me to live at home and I don’t want to live at home for college…I mean I love you guys but I don’t want to live with you & Daddy during college. And ASU feels like a big corporate office complex.” 
We’ll get through it! My DH’s college experience was way different than mine. When he went on college tours when he was younger, it was all on his own. His parents never took him and it would never have occurred to them to do so. So I think some of his intensity is that he’s new to all of this and he’s also excited about it all.
It’s a hard balance sometimes!
Sorry for rambling.
So, in the 20+ college tours we have taken our three kids on, DH has gone on ONE, with D22. And that was because I had a conflict I couldn’t get out of.
I honestly don’t know what he’s like on a tour – BUT he’s super chatty otherwise, and we have a running joke that if you ask him any question at all, he will start with, “Well, in the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth…”
The kids will often ask me something, and I’ll say, why don’t you ask Dad, he knows more about that than I do. And they’ll say, well I would, but then he’ll tell me AT GREAT LENGTH, and I just need the 30-second answer.
So, yes. It’s really better that I go on the tours, LOL.
What did she think of Elon? (Did I ask you this already?)
Wow just Wow I am not sure what I would have done in that situation, I have a low tolerance for stupidity
Oh gosh my husband has just taken a back seat on the college stuff. It’s partly because I wasn’t working when D19 was applying so I took her on all the tours and in fact Boulder will be the first time he’ll join us. But also because when it comes to anything to do with travel etc I’m the organizer! And when it comes to researching stuff that’s my baby too lol. I also think he’s just overwhelmed at the college process here (much simpler where we come from). He does plenty of other stuff but this he regards as my wheelhouse!
My D26 has yet to do any testing and has only toured one school! But hey tour # 2 is coming up next week, it will be just a quick tour of the Engineering Department. She is set to take the Act later this month at school and I am pretty sure she hopes to be one and done 
with testing. The end of the school year will be crazy but for now she seems to be holding it together, I personally would have lost my mind by now if I had her schedule!!!
Lol, that is my husband exactly, down to the kids not wanting to ask him, because his answers take too long. He is telling it slowly in a drawn out Southern drawl
To our big surprise he wants to come on the spring break college tour. S26 and I are not really amused about it…the embarrassment factor is real 
(and S26 and I are a really good travel team, just the two of us)
New subject but related to junior year being stressful…..Just had a call with my D26 (she’s a boarding student) and she actually sounded happy and relaxed for the first time in weeks! She has a presentation in less than two weeks that has been seriously stressing her out, but she finally turned a corner on it and feels like it’s coming together. That combined with a couple of tests being out of the way that she was worrying about and it seems like a weight has lifted for her, at least for the moment. Hooray!!
So nice to hear her actually sounding happy🥰
So glad to hear that! It’s so nice to hear them feeling calm and happy – I am grateful for any bit of relief here in the trenches, lol.
College counselor made some college suggestions to D26 in SCOIR. They are:
Interested that St Mary’s made the list. I’ve always thought it’s not very well known outside the Bay Area. Gorgeous little college, even if not a fit for your D. C26’s choir has sung in the chapel there on occasion.
Yeah, especially since there isn’t a cybersecurity major there. And D26 really really REALLY does not want to attend a college that has any affiliation with a religious organization. D26 really wants to live in AZ after college graduation, so attending a small college in northern CA that nobody in AZ has heard of isn’t going to help very much in the ‘finding a job after graduation’ department.
