Parents of Vegans

Parent Cafe
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<p>As a result of my son’s dietary habits, I have become fond of soy milk (chases off the menopausal blues, I’m told, so a good habit to get into) and am one of the only people I know who eats soft tofu right out of the container as if it were a delicious high-end yogurt. </p>

<p>Speaking of leather - S wrote his Common App essay about the moral quandary posed by his grandfather’s giving him a beautiful leather jacket as a gift. (He’s led a sheltered life, I suppose, not having run into a more intense ethical problem).</p>

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<p>I have been a vegan for almost three years. I have to make my own food, but sometimes my mom makes some vegan foods. She is a chef, so she likes to make up recipes and enjoys the challenges of making a vegan meal. Black beans and tofu are great sources of protein. Also, soy ice cream makes a great alternative to regular ice cream. In my opinion, the soy ice cream tastes better than the regular ice cream. I tried to take vitamins, but that didn’t work out too well. I got a cold, got sick, or had a permanent runny nose while I was taking the vitamins. We tried different types, but all them had the same effect on me. Also, I never wore leather or any of those products. My dad could never afford it.</p>

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<p>I am a vegetarian, my d, who has been a vegetarian had decided to become a vegan. I admit it is tough, I can eat egg whites and skim milk products but she is on a different plan altogether. I support her decision including her right to pick and choose what I have cooked vs. what she wants. </p>

<p>There are some vitamins that don’t come easy in vegetables and unfortunately a number of vitamin pills and capsuls contain geletan or some other animal product. When we go places, I will sometimes warn ahead of time that we will not be eating meat, but I don’t expect special meals to be prepared. I own tupperware and can carry food items with me.</p>

<p>My D is smart enough to figure it out, food is a very personal thing and eat what you want, (but do pay attention to your colesterol.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the link, emeraldkity. I should buy some tofutti products at a nearby Trader Joe’s or Fresh Fields to satisfy my sweet tooth (teeth:))!</p>

<p>Aries, thanks for your post. I don’t eat out much, and I live in a city. I am a bit concerned, however, that I will make people uncomfortable if I ask about ingredients when I’m at restaurants. Was that the case for you?</p>

<p>Thanks for the tips, BassDad! I’ll probably do what your D does when I go to friends’ houses.</p>

<p>LOL, yulsie! You are a hardcore tofu eater.</p>

<p>Thesiren, I can buy tofutti ice cream (thanks to emeraldkity for giving me the link). I have taken vitamins for a few years and its been fine, luckily.</p>

<p>Mr. B, thanks for your feedback. You were one of the only CC parents I knew had a vegan D before I started this thread. I managed to find completely vegetarian vitamins at Trader Joe’s. I could not live without that grocery store!!!;)</p>

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<p>I’m with yulsie, I’ve always eaten hunks of fresh tofu right out of the container, it instantly calms me down somehow, almost as if it works on some mysterious nerve center. And I’m quite fond of Silk brand chocolate soy milk. Mmmmm, I recommend it!</p>

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<p>Have friends who the entire family is vegan. They also don’t eat any sugar. They bring their own soy cheese when they go out for pizza. And when they vacation they usually rent a house and bring all their own food from home.
My D could never go vegan since she is highly alllergic to soy.</p>

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<p>Yemaya, I’m kind of wondering why you want to go vegan… especially with your comment that ice cream will be hard to give up.</p>

<p>My son was vegetarian from about the age of 12-20. Then he started eating meat for about a year, and now he’s gone back to being vegetarian. But he never expressed an absolutist point of view — for example, his dad made the mistake of serving him stew about a month ago because DS forgot to mention that he was now a vegetarian again. S. coudn’t eat it, but I brought a salad and my son just picked the meat out - he wasn’t going to fuss over the fact that the veggies had been stewed in meat juice. In fact, I think he made a bigger fuss over the fact that my salad was made with iceberg lettuce than his dad’s cooking with beef.</p>

<p>The point is – my son doesn’t eat meat because he doesn’t want to eat it. I know he would never become vegan because he really likes cheese. What I am sensing from your post is that you are interested in becoming vegan, but not completely sure – you are worried how it will impact others, and not entirely happy about giving up some favorite foods.</p>

<p>Why don’t you try a more gradual approach? Rather than announcing that you are now a vegan, why don’t you try to go for more vegan meals, and cut out animal products as much as possible, without totally refusing to eat them. That will save a lot of grief on the eating-out front – I mean, you won’t have to worry about whether there is a hidden animal-product used in food preparation. It will also help you get a sense of whether you really are comfortable with a vegan diet. Plus you won’t have to beat yourself up if you have an occasional lapse into the world of dairy products.</p>

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<p>At last chance to find out. Is it pronounced VAY gen or VEE gen?</p>

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<p>Mootmom, I’ll have to try to eat tofu right out of the container. Chocolate soy milk sounds good too!</p>

<p>Mom60, do they ask for the cheese to be melted on the pizza, or do they order it without cheese and just add it on themselves?</p>

<p>Calmom, I want to become a vegan because I am an animal rights activist. I volunteer at an animal rights organization, and I have read many books on animal rights. Earlier in a year, I found out more about cruelty in the milk and egg industries. I did not try to become a vegan then because I liked (insert food) too much. I realized that that is not a good enough reason for me to justify my eating eggs, cheese, and milk to myself.</p>

<p>What I shall probably do is spend about two weeks without eating anything that obviously contains animal products, but I won’t worry about carein, lactic acid, or thinfs like powdered milk or eggs in small quantities as ingredients in processed foods too much. Even when I have become a complete vegan, I won’t beat myself up over accidentally eating a dairy product if it is an ingredient in something that I am eating.</p>

<p>LOL, momrath! I say VEE gen, but I have also heard VAY gen.</p>

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<p>Yeah momrath I think it can be said both ways but I say VEE gen.</p>

<p>I agree that as a vegetarian, it’s not because I don’t like meat, but because I don’t like the idea of eating a dead animal. Sometimes I feel guilty about not being vegan too. Sometimes I justify it because I buy free range eggs and organic cheese, but that’s really rationalization and of course next year at college I can’t use that excuse…so I might become vegan. Who knows? Congratulations on deciding that, yemaya</p>

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<p>Eireann, that is exactly how I feel. We buy free range eggs and organic milk, but there is no way to know the actual conditions of the animals’ lives.</p>

<p>I just noticed that the two brands of soy cheese that we have in the house contain casein. Yulsie (or anyone else), have you been able to find soy cheese without casein?</p>

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<p>DD has been a vegetarian for almost a year. DH and I are big carnivores. DD had a bad experience with some very undercooked (practically raw) chicken and hasn’t eaten a bite of meat since. She never was much of a red meat eater, anyway, but did love her chicken. I cook lots more beans than I used to and we try to ensure she eats more protein-rich foods than she did before the no-meat diet. Being a southerner, I find it very hard to cook a pot of green beans without ham pieces. It’s a bit of a PIA to cook two meals each evening, but I’ve gotten used to it. We buy the protein shakes for her to drink each morning and she does eat very healthy foods, but I am still concerned about her possibly not getting enough of everything she needs. Her doctor gave us lots of useful info on being a teen vegetarian, but we thought it might not be a bad idea to consult with a dietician, too. DD doesn’t much like the texture of tofu. I would be thrilled if some of you vegetarians would post some recipes. Thanks! :)</p>

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<p>Well one thing that’s made me feel a bit better… We used to have chickens, and they are seriously the stupidest animals. Anyway, if you don’t collect the eggs everyday, they will eat them themselves. Which is apprently really bad for them, since they’re so small and it’s a lot of cholesterol. The thing is where I live, we have a dairy farm a few miles down the road and are friends with the family and drive by the cows all the time… Very rural area;) Anyway, good luck with the cheese. I’d suggest maybe googling it?</p>

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<p>Yemaya- they bring the cheese with them and ask for it to be melted on the pizza.<br>
They also have found places to dine out that have lots of vegi choices. Italian and other ethnic places usually have many meat and dairyless options.
They also enjoy some of the newer mexican style places. They can order bean burritos minus the cheese or bean, rice and grilled vegetable. You need to ask if the beans are prepared without lard. You need to decide if it bothers you to have your vegi’s grilled on a grill that might have had beef or chicken on it previously.
Being a vegan is time intensive. Being a college student you will have to watch out for the urge to just grab the carbs. A bagel with almond butter is a lot quicker then making a meal. Try chopping a whole bunch of vegi’s early in the week.<br>
As far as being healthy. I think that you are thinking much more about what you put in your body then your peers who live on a fast food diet.
Pick up a copy of vegetarian times next time your in a market and you will get some ideas. Also experiment with herbs and spices and different grains and soon you family will be wanting to eat your food.
Good luck to you</p>

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<p>My reason for being a vegetarian is simply to keep my cholesterol below 6.2 x 10 to the 23 power without taking two half tons of lipitor a day, but my daughter has a more humane reason and I support her decision. My cardiologist lectured at a fraternity this week and thinks parents should be more worried about kids diets than alcohol or drugs. He thinks these college kids will survive Saturday night but not the long term effects of their diets.</p>

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<p>A few things… </p>

<p>I’ll second the idea of free-range eggs and happy-cow milk. Generally, both are healthier for you (yay), and the good companies actually treat the animals decently. My lovely rural area is full of grazing cows - I don’t feel badly about drinking that milk. Free-range eggs are easy to find these days.</p>

<p>As for restaurants - I have enough trouble as a veggie. Chinese or Thai will put fish sauce or oyster sauce in a lot of things - and, seriously, most people don’t think that oyster sauce has oysters in it. (Steak sauce, specifically A1, does not contain any animal products - it’s vegan and great on black bean burgers.) Risottos are often made with chicken broth, and, if it is omitted, some people will just use water (which shocks my gourmand heart to the core). Mushrooms, when grilled, are often grilled on top of the same grill as meat (and it’s usually a metal “grill,” more like a fry thing, so the mushrooms get full of meat juice - yuck). The places which I have the least trouble are generally Indian, Italian, Thai (for the curries, but some of those have fish sauce) or a few chains, where I know that the pasta + vegetables is truly vegetarian. A lot of Indian food has a cream base - thankfully, vegetarian Indian is truly vegetarian, but I don’t think that much of it is vegan (maybe pakoras, papadum, and baignan bharta). </p>

<p>I’m not a fan of special requests and making a fuss, so I try to avoid it - I have a one question or one substitution rule. Much beyond that is downright embarrasing.</p>

<p>That’s rambling - but anyway, I have found it tough to eat out as a veggie. I do have the standby restaurants in the city - Friday’s, Chili’s, Uno’s (which, surprisingly, is pizza or a veggie burger - that’s it), CPK, Bertucci’s, or Indian/Thai/Mexican. Mex is actually good for vegans, because you can just avoid the cheese - fajitas with guacamole, salsa, lettuce and tomato are good. Some steakhouses are actually really good for veggies - the token dish is tasty.</p>

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<p>momrath: vee-gan.</p>

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<p>yemaya: Sorry if my original post sounded grumpy or non-supportive. You sound as though you’ve thought this through and have solid convictions. </p>

<p>As a hostess, of course I wouldn’t expect to serve ham or quiche Lorraine to a Jewish guest. However, I would have great difficulty finding any appropriate serving or eating vessels for any guest who kept a strictly kosher kitchen, as most of our bowls and plates have all had meat and cheese on them at some time or another. </p>

<p>I’m Catholic, and while it’s no longer binding under pain of mortal sin to abstain from meat on Fridays, our family chooses abstinence from meat as our form of Friday penance. When we attend banquets or parties on Fridays, we just eat what we can and leave the rest. If I were in someone’s home, I would probably do the same if it could pass unnoticed [for instance, buffet style dinner], or else I would graciously accept what was served, [just as I would with an item I didn’t really care for if I had no allergy to it], and then offer extra prayers or alms afterwards as a Friday penance. The penance is my, not my host’s, responsibility.</p>

<p>I hope that you will talk to your parents about your plans to make sure that you receive sufficient nutrients such as iron and calcium, and mention strategies for finding suitable food at restaurants and such, so that they won’t worry about your health. If you were my child and presented your thoughts as reasonably and articulately as you have here, I believe I would trust that you were going to be fine and that you would not unnecessarily burden others with your own choices.</p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

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<p>Thanks for all of the responses!</p>

<p>Lhasa, thanks so much. I really appreciate your post.</p>