<p>Well, I think I’m going to try and put both sides of the issue here. Any parent input would be massively appreciated.</p>
<p>Well, I got into my DREAM school Dartmouth. I was originally going to apply to about 5 schools but my dad panicked and was afraid I wouldn’t get in anywhere so he told me to apply to Brandeis because he thought it was a good school and it could be a good fall-back in case I didn’t get in other places. So, in order to appease him I did. </p>
<p>Problem?
I got a full ride to Brandeis.</p>
<p>I know it probably sounds ridiculous but I really don’t want to go to Brandeis and never really intended to do so. It seems like a cruel ironic twist of fate that the one school I didn’t look twice at was the one that would give me that much money.</p>
<p>Flash back to Dartmouth:
Originally, I got a pretty bad financial aid package which would give me only 10k a year. I appealed it and now they’re giving mr 30k with 3k in loans. This isn’t too bad, but my father (who is divorced from my mother and does not pay child support under the custody agreement) says he won’t pay that much for college and that I should take the full-ride. </p>
<p>My point of view: my father is not economically involved in my life at all and we even have to pay him rent to stay in the house. I filed the non-custodial parent thing because I thought it was an obligation and consequently, he gave me copies of his stuff to send in to the schools. My father owns lots of assets. My mother owns none and she makes less than 45k a year. I know I shouldn’t be angry at my father but I sort of am in the fact that he isn’t willing to sell one of his like, 10 houses to be able to pay for me and my sister’s education. Also, for reasons I will not divulge, I feel very VERY constrained in that my father has always controlled my life in a mussolini-esque manner and it just so happens that the college HE picks is the one I probably will have to go to. Dartmouth is my DREAM and he knows it and so does my mom, but she can’t afford anything. </p>
<p>alternate POV: I have a younger sister who will be going to college in three years. I have to think about gradschool. Most importantly, I would NEVER want to sink my parents into debt.</p>
<p>I’m confused. I don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t want to give up something I’ve worked so hard for.</p>
<p>Sorry for the rant I hope you guys can give me some advice</p>
<p>The bottom line is unfortunately you can’t make him pay. So…can you go to Dartmouth and come up with the funds on your own? Would you have to borrow to go to Dartmouth and if so, how much?<br>
Your alternate POV regarding your sister and grad school is important. Would you be jeopardizing either your sister or grad school to attend Dartmouth?
No one can tell you what to do. You need to weigh things carefully, sit and talk with your mom, etc. This is the part of being an adult that sucks. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions.<br>
I completely understand that Dartmouth is your dream school. Have you visited both schools? Are you the kind of person who will “bloom where you are planted”? In other words, lots of kids face these challenges and some will be happy with no regrets or looking back if they choose the full ride. Not everyone (no judgement here) is like that.
It is certainly a personality thing.</p>
<p>I assume full ride at Brandeis means tuition AND room and board. Or is it tuition only?</p>
<p>30K…that’s a good amount of money from Dartmouth, basically close to full tuition in grants. So room, board and all the misc stuff (adds up) would be on you.</p>
<p>Can you make $3000 in the summer? Work/study could add $2000 more. Seems to go to Dartmouth you’d have to be OK with borrowing up to $15000 a year. Depending on what kind of job you get after graduation 60K can be daunting, or it could be manageable.</p>
<p>If you are getting $30K a year from Dartmouth–what does that leave you with? $40K in loans? $60K? You really should NOT have loans greater than $30K for your undergrad degree --unless you are an engineer or finance major.</p>
<p>When it comes down to it, I think your Dad will pay something. He won’t risk your long term resentment. He’ll want to be part of it.</p>
<p>However, to play that end game on him, you have to assume that YOU will step up and pay for Dartmouth. You have to have a walk-away attitude toward his support. If it is your dream school, it is wroth the sacrifice. (This attitude is an excellent negotioning tool, btw, very useful in adult life).</p>
<p>First, how much can you earn each summer by working one or two HIGH paying jobs? 50 hours a week for 10 weeks at $12 per hour is $6000. Four summers is $24,000. Can you do work study to eaern your own pocket money?</p>
<p>Second, call Dartmouth and ask about their Resident advisor program. That will give you free room and board one year–or two if you don’t do JYA. That’s a $10K savings per year usually.</p>
<p>Third, if you run this play on your dad and he DOESN’T contribute, you might ahve to take a year off to raise another $15K. If you want Dartmouth, it will be worth it.</p>
<p>Finally, PM tlaktan and ask him for tips on finding obscure scholarships. He had to scrounge around to finance his years at G’town–and was very successful at finding some $2k scholarships that added up. (Scrounging up funding is ANotHER very useful tool for adult life, btw). If he gives you some step by step instrcutions, maybe you could post them under a leading thread–for everyone’s use.</p>
<p>Aside from the unexpected free ride (congrats, by the way!), I’m in a somewhat similar situation. Dartmouth gave me just under $25,000 in grants, but I also get a $3,000 grant from the Swedish government, which means I have to pay about the same amount as you do. As far as my parents are concerned, I’m more or less expected to fend for myself from my 18th birthday and on (because that is how they were raised and they managed just fine, never mind the fact that in Sweden tuition is “free” [tax-supported] and “room and board” is financed with government grants and minimal student loans). They’ll probably contribute a few thousand, but I don’t expect much more than $5,000, which leaves me about $17,000 to come up with on my own.</p>
<p>I’m in the process of applying for summer jobs; most likely, I’ll be working at Whole Foods with an hourly salary between $10 and $15 from mid-June to late August. Full-time jobs are listed as 35-40 hours per week, but I don’t know if it’s possible to exceed that, and if so by how much. I spent part of last summer working 40 hours/week and volunteering 15 hours/week on top of that, so I’m pretty sure I’d be able to handle up to 60 hours/week if they’d let me. </p>
<p>If I work for 10 weeks, that’s anywhere between $4,000 and $9,000 (but probably closer to the lower end), depending on the salary and number of hours. I vaguely remember the average work-study amount as $700 per term, or just over $2,000 for three terms. I’ve signed up for a [url="<a href="http://fastweb.com/“]Fastweb[/url”>http://fastweb.com/"]Fastweb[/url</a>] account and have found a few scholarships that I’m going to apply for. I don’t know if I can realistically expect to win any of them, but it’s worth a try, and every $1,000 helps.</p>
<p>I guess I don’t really have any useful advice or anything, but here’s some commiseration and support (?) anyway. :o</p>
<p>This actually worked for me with school. My Dad had offered support when I hadn’t honestly expected him to help. But he was really controlling and kept threatening to withold it. Finally, I got fed up and said that I would rather drop out than have his support under the conditions it was offered. That shut him right up. The thing is I meant it. I would have dropped out of school. You have to mean it. Don’t have it be a bluff. Be ready to take a year off as suggested above.</p>
<p>My advice. DON’T give up on your dream. If you don’t want Brandeis, chances are very great you wouldn’t like it. And then seeds of great bitterness would potentially be sown.</p>
<p>My only question is if your Dad does actually sell one of his houses to support you, what would Dartmouth do? Do they ever reconsider this kind of thing?</p>
<p>Once upon a time someone offered me a very large sum of money on the condition that I get prior permission for every penny spent. I refused the money with a polite ‘no thanks’–and five minutes later it was presented as a no-strings gift.</p>
<p>Could have gone the other way–but morango is close to being completely self supporting anyway. My ‘deal’ gut says it’s worth a roll of the dice.</p>
<p>Well done to you camellia…keep whittling down that debt figure. When you are a daft old dear like me you will not be thinking about that money.</p>
<p>camelia: Whole Foods is not likely to let you work more than 40 hours per week. Reason: for people in jobs with hourly pay, anything more than 40 hours a week is probably considered overtime, and they would have to pay you one and a half times your usual hourly rate. It doesn’t make sense for them to do this. They are better off hiring another person and paying that person the normal rate.</p>
<p>So if you think you can stand working more than 40 hours, the best strategy might be to find a second job or other moneymaking opportunity for a few more hours per week.</p>
<p>$72k (a year at Dartmouth is $48k, and will increase over the four years) is a year of med school or law school. Or a year living in Europe, or five years as a volunteer in Africa. With some money left over.</p>
<p>It isn’t Brandeis v. Dartmouth.</p>
<p>It is Brandeis + $72k (or more than a year of graduate school) v. Dartmouth.
or
Brandeis v. Dartmouth minus $72k paid off over 10 years at $835.98 per month.
or
Brandeis v. Dartmouth and working at relatively low wages every waking hour and summer
or…</p>
<p>You get the picture. If any of these equations work for you, choose Dartmouth. If they don’t choose Brandeis.</p>
<p>Morangotango, since you said you didn’t “look twice” at Brandeis, have you explored it at all to see if there is something there, a program or department that you might actually be able to get interested in? </p>
<p>Alternatively, are there any conditions on the full ride - is it guaranteed all four years? Do you have to meet specific criteria for it to renew every year - such as a certain minimum gpa?</p>
<p>Also, what about the package from Dartmouth - will it stay the same x four years, or, when the FAFSA renewal is filed for your sophomore year, would you legally be able to use your mother’s numbers?</p>
<p>A significant change in the financial award package from either school sophomore year going forward could change the dynamics of your decision considerably…</p>
<p>Since you are not 18, you need to check how many hours you can legally work in DC. If there are restrictions, check in Maryland and Virginia to see if there are restrictions there. Since you are on a visa, you need to be very careful about complying with the rules. So you also need to make sure that you aren’t violating your visa.</p>
I hope you guys can give me some advice</p>