<p>The difficult thing about “banning” a certain activity, is that this action is generally taken by the controlling authority (parent or government) to deal with a lack of control with regards to the activity in question.</p>
<p>I still don’t like the use of prostitution and dating as an analogy (I’d rather use drugs, but I digress) as they have very different ideas about sex involved, but for the sake of argument, I’ll work with it.</p>
<p>There are a few places in the world where prostitution is legal. These are places where the societal norms about the activity are at a place where they have decided that the negative side effects of the activity (STD management, other related criminal activity, etc.) can be managed and the behavior involved can be managed to the point where societal cohesiveness is not too seriously challenged.</p>
<p>When you go back in time, you will find universally that “dating” has been tolerated by a society only to the extent that the parties involved do not engage in activity that will not result in undue harm to any of the parties involved (boy, girl, family, community). Most primitive societies had very primitive methods of dealing with situation when something went awry, so the behaviors that presented problems were strictly regulated. Dating was minimal and very controlled.</p>
<p>As society and their institutions evolved, different methods of social control and standards evolved together allowing a more relaxed approach to interaction between young couples as standards for behavior and the enforcement of consequences of “unsafe” behavior changed. </p>
<p>The big rub most societies today have are the interactions between different societies and their different norms of behavior and the enforcement of those behaviors. In the west we are dumbfounded about the restrictions put upon women in certain cultures, but in those cultures, quite frankly, it is unsafe for young women to behave otherwise. To expect them to change to your own standards based upon your limited history with that mode of behavior is irrational, as they have not gotten to that mode of living.</p>
<p>Bringing this to the dating situation at BS, many families of many different cultures have very differing experiences with regards to the safety of dating activities. It is very easy for a young person who has grown up in a more mixed culture to not understand their parents’ experience in this regard. </p>
<p>To the extent that they have brought their parents into their culture as they grow up, they will get more understanding from their parents. But to suddenly expect their parents to throw away what they know of their culture with regards to dating based upon their child’s “everyone does this” explanation is quite irrational and very typical of someone who has a very limited world view.</p>
<p>Bottom line - banning dating activities occurs when there hasn’t been adequate interaction between the differing cultures of parent and adult. It is a sad occurence that can be traced to the actions of both parent and child to understand the culture in which each operates. For a young person to act out on the banned activity, it speaks to their own immaturity with dealing with relationships - both couple and familial. As much as finding a mate is an individual activity, it is also a familial and community activity, as very few couples fuction as successfully as an island as they do with the support of family and community.</p>
<p>Hopefully, I haven’t lost too many people along the way…</p>