<p>I posted this in HSL and people told me to post it here so I am going to copy and paste it here. </p>
<p>*** SORRY this is really LONG and kinda boring***</p>
<p>First of all I am posting this from my phone so please excuse any texting language or any mistakes in this post, kinda hard for me to type long things on using my phone. Now seriously please do not make jokes or say something really unnecessary. Really because I don’t have anyone else to turn to but random people online :(</p>
<p>First here is some basic info on me: Black 15year old obese teen hoping to lose weight this year. Current 10thgrader. Was raised mainly as an only child even though I have 2 brothers 1 sister and 1 “brother”. Now I will start…</p>
<p>Okay when I was little my older “brother”, hate him so much I don’t really consider him my brother, went crazy. I am going to call him M. So like I was saying when I was little my mom was paying for everything for him and he wasn’t doing anything so she stopped; M went crazy and tried to kill me and my mom and told off my whole family. We got away and charges were pressed I didn’t here anything about M for years.</p>
<p>During the summer before my freshman year he came back and slowly became more and more like someone who was living at the house. Around the start of school he disappeared again (him staying around ruined my WHOLE summer).</p>
<p>Now to the present. M is back in my life and he is fully moved in my house!!! He moved in, in the summer (again ruining another summer) and is currently still living here. So its been like 7-8months!! M is very rude and doesn’t respect anyone or anything. He just now got a job in December (yeah really late). I hate him being here when no one else is, mainly because he I am pretty sure he goes through things. In fact I know for a fact he has been in my room while I was gone, because I have the only working printer in the house and I saw he printed multiple things on different days when no one was there and I forgot to lock the door. He brought a car not to long ago but it is broken now so he uses my mom’s and has no intention to fix his even though my mom asks him about it everyday and threatens not to let him use her car.</p>
<p>He thinks he is all that, and uses my mom who is easily manipulated!</p>
<p>Anyway now to the main issue He is trying to go back to school (his plan all along). He said he is going to move out the 15th but he has said he is going to move out multiple times… Idk if he will since he is getting more soil cal (talking on the phone, going to parties, ect). He talks on the phone really loud every night and I feel way to weird to do anything while he is here which is why I wait until he goes to work to do stuff (4-10pm). Every time I try to do something he is on my mind and my hate gets in my way of doing stuff!</p>
<p>**So does anyone have any advice for me. PLEASE and THANK you **</p>
<p>Wesley, I don’t fully understand. What is it you try to do or want to do while he is there that you can’t do? Does he pick on you? How does your mom feel about him being back at home after what he did to both of you? Have you told your mom that you aren’t comfortable with him in the house (since he sounds like he could be a serious threat to your safety)? Just trying to get a better picture here.</p>
<p>I really wanted to lose my weight during the two summers but it is very awkward trying to do things while he is in the house walking around (we usually avoid each other). And she doesn’t talk about it that much. The only time after it happened that she talked about it was when he came into the house for the first time (freshman summer) and he helped him get out of it (which REALLY made me mad!!)</p>
<p>Sounds like you are going to have to take the bull by the horns and tell your mom (while your brother isn’t around) how uncomfortable you are having him in the house. Maybe ask her in a respectful way why she thinks its ok for him to be in the same house as you after what he pulled? Just remember, your brother is her son too and mom’s tend to forgive their kids just about anything (although what he did is way out there).</p>
<p>In the meantime, are you in a neighborhood where you can walk/run/exercise outside? I know how hard it is for kids to lose weight nowadays…seems like all the popular “activities” are indoors (on the computer, etc.). I know its hard enough to get motivated to exercise and eat right in the best of circumstances, so good luck to you. I know you will reach your goal. Don’t let ANYBODY get in your way.</p>
<p>THANK YOU!!! You all your advice and I tried talking to my mom but she kinda blew me off and kept saying “Yeah hopefully he will move out soon” over and over again. It was/is very frustrating! And once again there is another night with him yelling and laughing on the phone…ugh ■■■ :(</p>
<p>The main issue is that he is trying to go back to school? Talking loud on the phone?</p>
<p>How old is he? How old are you? I am wondering if you or your mom are afraid of physical violence. If so, has CPS ever been involved? Is there still an open case? If fear of violence is what this is about, and there is an open CPS case, there might be a social worker you can talk to, and a way to get family therapy.</p>
<p>I want to chime in again. Wesley, please don’t think we’re all saying that your troubles aren’t serious and real. You deal with some pretty awful stuff, and of course it’s not easy. I think our message (if I may speak for the others…) is that we can understand your situation because it’s not absolutely unique.</p>
<p>A lot of people overcome adversity and become happy and successful adults. Your local/school librarian can suggest books and movies about/by people who have overcome adversity. Do you have a stable adult in your life who can help you? Maybe your counselor at school can help find you an adult mentor.</p>
<p>Please believe that you can overcome adversity and meet or exceed your goals!</p>
The main issue is him getting out of the house because he is rude and just uses people (us) and he is way to sneaky.</p>
<p>I am 15 he is like 30 something. And not sure…there was already a fight and I think she just wants to help him even though she really doesn’t like him. And i don’t know what CPS means…I think I do but I will say this it won’t work because out family is really big time against that and it wouldn’t happen because I have family in there…</p>
<p>
Yeah I know this but I also say why must I go through mine so soon at a early age (my prime)? And my school really isn’t like that they will only take the time to help you if you are mentally challenged or poor or popular or mexican (yeah weird i know)</p>
<p>^CPS is child protective services. If he is an adult, and you are a minor, and he tried to kill you, and charges where filed, a “case” may have been opened, and a case manager assigned.If by “our family” is against it, you mean you are against getting local help, then I guess I don’t have anything else to suggest.YOU can call CPS if there is physical danger.</p>
<p>I guess I would try to focus first on staying safe. Have your wits about you and be very aware early if you feel that tensions, which could potentially lead to violence, are evident. </p>
<p>Speak to a trusted adult in real life, a counselor at school for example. Don’t give up on finding a wise, trustworthy adult to guide you and be an effective sounding board. You may have a guidance counselor who is weak, but you may find that one of your teachers, clergy, a coach, etc. could fit the bill.</p>
<p>Begin, at your very young age, to do what you need to do every day to take care of yourself by shutting out whatever “noise” is distracting you. Detach in a healthy way, find your serenity, and then maintain it. Become so focused on meeting your own goals that the stressful things in your landscape fade to the background.</p>
<p>At 15 you are not in control of who lives at your home. Accept what you cannot control, and change the things you can. Study at a library during the hours that you’d be better off out of the house. Improve your grades so that you have a better chance at a good college. Get involved in a healthy activity at school, something that might be related to a passion of yours. That will keep you out of the house even more. Have lunch out with other family members one on one for bonding time in private without the family member who stresses you out. Avoid adding stress to your healthy family relationships by spending time talking about the one that is a problem for you.</p>
<p>Another idea is Overeater’s Anonymous for young people. Google the organization in your area, and call the office to inquire about young people meetings if they are not listed on the web site. There you can speak anonymously, meet new friends with similar goals, etc. You can also find a sponsor, who could be a great source of support.</p>
And my school really isn’t like that they will only take the time to help you if you are mentally challenged or poor or popular or mexican (yeah weird i know)</p>