Parents - please remind your kids - again

Parent Cafe
1

<p>In the wake of an awful car crash here I just feel compelled to ask everyone to once again review and reconsider some really important stuff. I know every town has its share of horrible car crashes. We had two teen crashes, with 8 fatalities, in the space of 30 days, and of course, it’s been a sobering experience. </p>

<p>I know we have all talked to our kids a million times about this stuff - but it still bears repeating to them:</p>

<li><p>Put away your phone, your iPod, your radio, your Starbucks. Your main job is operating the car safely. At 60mph, if you are distracted for even one second, your car has covered 88 feet with no driver.</p></li>
<li><p>Driving at night is hard. It’s harder than driving during the day. There’s a reason kids are discouraged (in come cases by law) from driving after nine. It’s because that’s when, statistically speaking, you are likely to be killed.</p></li>
<li><p>Contrary to what you think, you are not an expert driver. Take your time. You don’t need to pass cars, hurry through yellow lights, or exceed the speed limit. Slow down.</p></li>
<li><p>Do not pile your friends in the car. Your are not a good enough driver.</p></li>
<li><p>You do not need to drive if I think it’s unsafe or unwise. I will drop you off and pick you up.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>I really have no idea how you make kids (and parents in many cases) take this stuff seriously. Once they are out of sight, we don’t always know what they’re doing. Most of the time they manage to stay lucky, but it sure is bad if they don’t. Maybe a renewed push for enforced junior licensing is necessary. Or maybe one more reminder will help.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.whec.com/article/stories/S138252.shtml?cat=566[/url]”>http://www.whec.com/article/stories/S138252.shtml?cat=566&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

2

<p>Just want to say thanks for caring enough to post this!</p>

3

<p>If it’s available in your area, have your kids take an advanced driver training course like InControl or Skid School. These are not “driver’s ed” but real, behind the wheel emergency training. </p>

<p>My d took the InControl course (at her suggestion). It was more effective than anything I could tell her. (And some parents took it too.)</p>

<p>They had one exercise on tailgating. They had a lead car with flags tied onto the car with ropes. Two cars, driven by the students, were on either side of the lead car. They were instructed to keep level with the flag. The lead car drove off getting up to about 50 mph and then slammed on its brakes. The students did, too. However, every student car passed the lead car by a substantial margin. Every one of these students would have been dead had he or she really been tailgating like that. </p>

<p>They did a car “slalom” - turns as you would see on a windy road. First the students took the course at about 10, then 20, then 35 and saw the real difference in the amount of control they had.</p>

<p>They also did a “pile in the car” exercise. Again with a lead car off to the student’s left, with the tethered flag. They put 3 other students into the car, and turned on the radio. The other students were instructed to talk and try to distract the driver. The driver knew that the lead car was going to slam on the brakes, and were told to do the same when the lead car did. Even while anticipating slamming on the brakes, the students overshot the lead car.</p>

<p>Thre were a number of other exercises, too - about 4 hours worth. Feeling the car, seeing the results had more impact on my d and the other students than anything mom & dad could have said. It has changed the way she drives (and, in fact, the way I drive!)</p>

<p>It was worth every penny it cost.</p>

4

<p>Thank you Weenie and Chedva! My oldest D is starting drivers ed when she gets home from her trip, and your advice could not be more timely!! I’ll definitely check into the InControl course.</p>

5

<p>I wish I could take one of those courses! :slight_smile: I don’t see any near there though…</p>

6

<p>thank you, out of tragedies, we need to learn and remind and teach…at my Ds school, everyother year, they do a car crash scenerio with students as victims, and with an accident outside the school, with kids pulled out of class one at a time because they have been “killed”, a service in the gym for those that “died”, with their parents their…some kids scoff, but I tell you it is very effective, and sad</p>

7

<p>Thank you, weenie.</p>

<p>You know, I always felt this little mishap was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me and DS when he was learning to drive:</p>

<p>On the way out of our (long) driveway when he was learning, he leaned over to change the radio station. In that nanosecond, the car veered off the driveway. No harm done, no trees hit (and there were plenty nearby; we were just lucky). But the look on his face said it all ----- he had <em>no idea</em> that it could happen so fast. Talk about a teachable moment.</p>

<p>Makes me think - perhaps we parents, when teaching our kids to drive, should engineer such a teachable moment. While on your quiet little driveway/side street/cul-de-sac… find a place where there are no cars/obstacles/people in sight. Distract your kid on purpose - ask her/him to turn up the AC, turn down the radio. Whatever. Let them see how severely and how quickly the car can overreact.</p>

<p>Just a thought and thanks again, weenie.</p>

8

<p>Also to parents…if you have a certain vehicle that your Jr. driver is the primary driver of, don’t forget to check it out once in awhile to be sure all systems are in good operating order. Kids don’t think/don’t know to check on stuff.<br>
Our S slid off the road and into a ditch rounding a curve in heavy rain. He was not hurt but the car was pretty damaged. H had mentioned maybe a month earlier that S’s car would need new tires soon but then sorta forgot about it. When we got the car into the body shop for repairs the owner said the tires were dangerously worn and were likely the cause of the accident. We felt so guilty for coming down on S for reckless driving.</p>

9

<p>I can’t believe no one has mentioned the number one priority above all else… you must wear your seatbelt ALL THE TIME! My 25-year old nephew was killed in a car crash six weeks ago, and was not wearing his seat belt (he fell asleep at the wheel - another major hazard of driving… driving without enough sleep). A week later my daughter and I were rear-ended in stopped traffic by a semi-truck, but we both had our seat belts on; we both walked away with fairly minor injuries.</p>

<p>I can’t believe in this day and age, I still occasionally have to ask an adult guest in my car to buckle their seat belt. It’s a no brainer.</p>

10

<p>

This is my biggest problem with the ages my kids are now. When they were 16 and 17, it seemed they listened a little better. Now they think they are sooooo experienced and know everything and have reaction times equal to Superman. Would love to have them in one of the courses describe above. I was riding with 20 year old the other day on a busy 8 lane highway and I felt he was tailgating —his response was basically that I was kinda old and slow and that’s why I felt “threatened” and anyway that is how everyone drives in cities (that part did seem fairly true which is why I avoid city driving).</p>

<p>Thanks for the posts everyone.</p>

11

<p>^ Two very good points. I am so surprised when I see PARENTS leaving the school parking lot without seatbelts on. What the heck?</p>

<p>Also, another hazard of teens driving at night - they fall asleep even more often that adults! They think it is one of the big undocumented causes of teen accidents.</p>

12

<p>mkm: My sister and I still laugh about this: My niece had been out driving TWICE when she turned to my sister and said, “I’m a really good driver, aren’t I mom.” She was serious. LOL</p>

13

<p>Thanks for posting this, Weenie. </p>

<p>Teriwtt, I’m so sorry about your nephew. I always wear my seatbelt, and I make sure everyone else in the car does, too. I don’t understand why people would skip wearing their seatbelt–the weight of pros vs. cons are obvious.</p>

<p>I do talk on my phone in the car sometimes, which I probably shouldn’t, but I never dial while in the car (my cell phone has voice-activated dialing), and I never do it while on the highway, on unfamilar roads, while turning left, etc. I do see girls dialing their cell phones while driving and trying to do u-turns one handed while chatting with friends and doing whatever else. </p>

<p>Being 18, I spend a good amount of time in cars with teenagers. I like to think of myself as a pretty good, safe driver (not an expert, though :)). My siblings all safe drivers, too. Our parents are very good drivers and taught all of us, and I think that is the most important thing in learning how to drive. “Drivers ed” taught me nothing and was really useless. A course like the one Chedva describes sounds good, but I’ve never heard of any of them around me. Unfortunately, many teenagers don’t have access to a good driver who wants to teach or a good driving course. One of my friends is not a good driver: she doesn’t notice red lights or that cars in front of her are stopped until very late, she drives in a way that feels “out of control,” she tails people, she sticks to the far side of the road, etc. She doesn’t even know what things people are and aren’t supposed to do while driving. Learning to drive takes a lot of time and practice, and many teenagers don’t have someone who drives well and is willing to put in that time. Some of my friends make fun of me for driving “slowly,” especially on highways, but I get everywhere on time and–most importantly–in one piece. </p>

<p>I’m going to add people’s suggestions onto Weenie’s list: </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Put away your phone, your iPod, your radio, your Starbucks. Your main job is operating the car safely. At 60mph, if you are distracted for even one second, your car has covered 88 feet with no driver.</p></li>
<li><p>Driving at night is hard. It’s harder than driving during the day. There’s a reason kids are discouraged (in come cases by law) from driving after nine. It’s because that’s when, statistically speaking, you are likely to be killed.</p></li>
<li><p>Contrary to what you think, you are not an expert driver. Take your time. You don’t need to pass cars, hurry through yellow lights, or exceed the speed limit. Slow down.</p></li>
<li><p>Do not pile your friends in the car. Your are not a good enough driver.</p></li>
<li><p>You do not need to drive if I think it’s unsafe or unwise. I will drop you off and pick you up.</p></li>
<li><p>Take a good driving course that goes beyond the level of “drivers ed.” You may find it changes your view on driving.</p></li>
<li><p>Make sure your car is in good shape. If something doesn’t feel right, ask your parents and get it checked out.</p></li>
<li><p>Always wear your seatbelt every time you’re in a vehical that’s turned on, and make sure everyone else in the car does as well.</p></li>
<li><p>Alcohol, drugs, and driving should never be mixed. Appoint a driver to stay sober. If you find yourself with no one sober to drive you home, call a taxi, a friend who wasn’t at the party, a sibling, a family member, or a parent.</p></li>
</ol>

14

<p>Those accidents are so sad, and thanks for that reminder, weenie. Here in London the anniversary of the death of Princess Diana is always a sad occasion. This year, my daughter asked me “But why did she die, Mom?” and the best answer I could come up with on the spur of the moment was – well, the car was going too fast, and the driver appeared to have been drinking, and in the end, she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. In fact, the only person in the car who survived was wearing a seatbelt.</p>

<p>I’m pretty sure my D got the message, although I think my kids do have good seatbelt habits you just never know. Don’t know if you all want to use that as a cautionary tale? Very sad, the things that can happen in a split second.</p>

15

<p>I see my link doesn’t work anymore.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.whec.com/article/stories/S138751.shtml?cat=566[/url]”>http://www.whec.com/article/stories/S138751.shtml?cat=566&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

16

<p>I’m always amazed that the seat belt inforamtion about Diana isn’t as talked about as much a it should be. I’ve often used it as a cautionary tale.</p>

17

<p>Governor Corzine’s injuries are certainly a cautionary tale about the need to wear a seatbelt. He is very fortunate that he was helicoptered to a trauma center and received the best medical care available, or he might not be making such a nice recovery from his very serious injuries.</p>

<p>The 19 year old son of my husband’s boss, who was also a friend and fellow musician of my daughter, died instantly last fall in an accident very close to his home. He was not wearing a seatbelt, and, if he had been, it is likely that he would not have been seriously injured.</p>

18

<p>I always make an attempt to educate younger passengers who complain about seat belts in my car, advising them that they are required to wear seat belts due to the g-force of any potential accident. I tell them that my seat belt will not do me much good if their body is a projectile force, hurtling forward toward my head/neck in an accident…</p>

19

<p>My son, a very careful driver, just totalled a car on the Taconic Parkway in NY. When I picked him up, I realized the problems with this road. But driving is the most dangerous thing we do every day. ThanK God he wasn’t injured-- he could very easily have died. It’s a split second–he was wearing a seat belt–he is happy to be going to college without a car, but says he’d like to do training on ice or extreme conditions. I think I could use it too.</p>

20

<p>I hate the Taconic!</p>