<p>Anyone out there who thinks their parents push too hard their children to become the perfect candidate for admission to “elite” colleges?</p>
<p>Seems to me like a lot of parents are into the whole “college thing” for themselves. If a student goes to an Ivy League school, the parent can brag about it. Problem is, a lot of students fall victim to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, low self-esteem, etc., because teens are trying desperately to please their pushy parents.</p>
<p>Anyone agree? If so, what grade were you in when they started pushing to whole college thing? Just curious.</p>
<p>Don’t listen to your parents. Do what you want to in high school, as far as ecs go. Don’t be a whore to the the admissions process. </p>
<p>If you have the pushy parents ignore them as much as possible. If you go to a solid state school you can do well without killing yourself b/c of the pressure in high school.</p>
<p>Actually, I’m a parent, not a student. Just feel as though some parents go overboard when it comes to the whole college thing.</p>
<p>I’m one of those parents who believes that most teens are capable of making good college decisions. Parents should be involved in the process, but shouldn’t control it.</p>
<p>I’m a strong girl yet my parents still managed to break me down emotionally about twice a day.</p>
<p>You see, I know my parents love me, but they don’t KNOW what is best for me and what is not. I feel like they’ve already got my life planned out for me, and whenver I want to pursue my interest, they immediate disregard how I feel. Because I’m Chinese, they treat me (and have specifically told me so when they’re mad) that I’m a failure because I didn’t apply for the Ivies. Instead, I’m going for the top 25’s. I understand that my parents are worried about my future, yet I can’t help but wish that they’d see things from my point of view and support me for who I truly am. I feel like I need to carry a “Harvard” acceptance letter everywhere in order for my parents to be proud of who I am. I don’t blame them completely for that, because they are pressured by other kid’s parents as well. </p>
<p>It’s good to know that there are some laissez-faire parents out there such as yourself, old but wise. My parents, however, are angery control freaks.</p>
<p>I’ve pretty much wasted my time applying to 27 colleges total. My parents have this mega fear that I won’t even get into any of my 8 safeties. For them, it’s better being safe and apply to 27 then to not even get into 1. For me, the whole plan is a waste of energy. Some of the schools I don’t even want to go to even if I’m accepted. I could have probably focused so much more on those 12 applicants than on those 27.</p>
<p>I can’t make my parents understand something when they’re not willing to listen. They are stubborn and disregard everything I try to explain to them. They are trying to hold on to many values and prestige of a country they don’t even live in any more. The only thing giving me hope right now is the future. I believe that if I stay true to myself and my goals, time will teach them and force them to learn and we will come to some sort of reconciliation.</p>
<p>Stressedout: It sounds like you’re a very good and conscientious student…one that MANY colleges will be fortunate to have as a member of their student body.</p>
<p>Also, do you realize how many students (ones whose primary language is English!) out there would be thrilled to have your SAT scores?</p>
<p>You can’t control how others think, but you can control your perception of yourself. Also, don’t get caught up with comparing yourself to others.
Take inventory of all the things you’ve accomplished, and I’m sure you’ll recognize that you have much to be proud of.</p>
<p>Yes, through personal experience, having too much pressure from parents, coaches, and teachers really set myself up for some problems. In the beginning of 9th grade, I just felt overloaded by all of the pressure && developed an eating disorder. Now, a bit over 2 1/2 years later, I’m still fighting the eating disorder && I still feel like a failure for not being ‘‘perfect’’ as everybody wanted && expected of me. My self-esteem is improving && I’m beginning to see what TRULY matters in life—but its really hard to try and change that ‘‘overachieving’’ and ‘‘perfectionist’’ mindset when everybody is placing a whole lot of weight on your shoulders.</p>
<p>My advice is that parents should just LOVE their children && always be there to guide && support them without being pushy. Pushy parents only cause problems down the road anyway.</p>
<p>But, yeah, some parents, in general, do need to become less pushy.</p>
<p>Stressed Out: All three are out of college. Admittedly, I was way too involved with helping my first child through the process, but was much better with the last two, as I let them control the process.</p>
<p>One of my best friends has really pushy parents. She gets nearly perfect grades and she is involved in several ECs, and yet everyday she tells me how she thinks she’s inadequete and that she’ll never get into any colleges. She has absolutely no self confidence and it really worries me. Pushy parents are having awful effects on their children.</p>
<p>Seriously, plus they tend to be overprotective, which makes them (not by choice), somewhat dependent on their parents, which ultimately makes some of them unsuccessful in college, or just takes a while to adapt. </p>
<p>One of my friends is Japanese, her parents are INSANE. Her brother went to college, and almost failed out because he couldn’t handle doing everything himself.</p>