<p>Hi all,
Especially for those of you with college students or you college students just coming home for the summer, what do you think is a reasonable time for mom to start making “household” noise in the morning? For instance, today I waited until 11 a.m. to start using the vacuum because college student S was still sleeping, of course. Bear in mind that he is a nice kid, and really does not come in at all hours making noise and waking people up. It’s just that he’s on a very different sleeping schedule than the rest of us right now, and I’m trying to be somewhat considerate. What do you think is fair?</p>
<p>In my opinion, if you want to treat your son special and allow him to sleep in for a day or so immediately after he arrives home for the summer, that is fine. But WHY would you expect him to lounge around the entire summer, sleeping in every day? If he is in YOUR home, then he needs to figure out how to live there without inconveniencing everyone else. In terms of doing your household chores, I would do them when you feel it is convenient for YOU (vacuuming at 3AM may be a bit odd though). I do not see any reason to treat him any differently than you would treat a high school senior.</p>
<p>momof3sons~</p>
<p>My son has a college friend here until next Sunday, and they have been seriously on a “nighttime” schedule!!! Though I have allowed them this indulgence, I make no adjustments to the household in terms of noise, etc., EXCEPT for trying to keep the “littles” from fighting TOO much before school (7:00) and making a ruckus right outside their room. Outside of that, anything’s game. On the other hand, I do not put major limitations on their nighttime activity either, as long as they show general consideration. And because my kids have all grown up in a family of 8, they tend to show that kind of consideration naturally. Most of the people in our family are pretty heavy sleepers (I’m not), so it all works out. When it doubt, get a fan in his room and put it on HIGH!!! We’re big “fans” of white noise! :)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>pafather,
I wouldn’t permit him to lounge around all summer! In a month he will be heading off to a wonderful out-of-state job which will require him to be responsible for waking up other kids at 7 a.m.! I really was just wondering what other folks would think was reasonable.</p>
<p>I don’t know your son’s sleeping schedule, but anything past 1pm is fair game. If he went to sleep reasonably late and after having stayed up for a while, a bit of background noise shouldn’t wake up the typical college student on a weekend. (Or weekday).</p>
<p>That said, I’m also not going home for the summer, so I’m not one to comment.</p>
<p>Even if you are pretending that your home is a hotel – </p>
<p>the housekeeping department starts to rattle around at 8 am, knocking on doors by 9 am.</p>
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<p>I forgot to mention the MOST important thing…do as <em>I</em> do: DON’T VACUUM!!! <em>lolololol</em> 
You think I’m kidding, huh? I really DON’T vacuum. Dh does it when he comes in from work! :)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>I think that about 9 am is appropriate, unless he works the night shift somewhere and has no choice but to get to bed late. </p>
<p>7 am phone calls, vacuuming, etc. can be a little excessive. Use this guideline: what time would be okay for someone to call you on a Saturday morning when you and your hubby went out on a date the night before? If the phone rang at 9, you might be a little cranky, but would not think it unreasonable. If the phone rang at 6:30, you might throw it across the room.</p>
<p>Hey Berurah has a great idea here…
Mom vacuums at 9am unless S wants to do it upon awakening…LOL, its called pick your battles!! </p>
<p>my DS slept for 13 hrs straight on day 3 of being home…now that we are at day 6, he is starting to keep a more normal schedule… no job yet, but he was reasonably frugal with last year’s earnings…still has more than 1/3rd left, so he is not in a “rush” to get/start another summer job… I must admit I am coveting his balance!! LOL…</p>
<p>My problem isn’t my parents, but my neighbor. The crazy man mows his lawn EVERY DAY at 8 AM. I had off work last friday only to be awakened by him! And again Saturday! and Sunday!</p>
<p>The problem I have co-existing with my parents (just my mom… my dad is totally fine) is what time I would come home at night. I’m used to strolling in at 2-4 am and it not being a problem. It’s still not a problem, but i’m constantly hassled about what time I got home the night before, etc. (I’m super quiet and Don’t make a peep so it’s not like i’m being inconsiderate or waking people up) My dad tells my mom that it just doesn’t matter, but she still wants to know. Sometimes I think she sits up and waits for me, then asks just to see if i’ll tell her the truth :P</p>
<p>cnp55-I love your analogy to hotel housekeeping. I think that will be my guideline!</p>
<p>berurah-While I like your “no vacuum” practice, some around here would say it gets done too little as it is. This is not an option for me. :(</p>
<p>fendergirl-I would love to know what seed is being sown in your neighborhood that requires daily mowing! We have vast wastelands of weeds and dirt in our yard, good intentions and lots of seed notwithstanding.</p>
<p>no seeds require daily mowing. its just that my neighbor requires a hobby… and unfortunately, hasn’t found a better one than mowing!</p>
<p>I say 9am…a grace period of 11am the first week, after that, well, a parents life needs to get moving</p>
<p>When my kids were little, I didn’t tiptoe around the house when they slept, if I wasn’t napping with them, I washed dishes, talked on the phone, vacummed, did laundry, all the stuff I need to, they slept through it</p>
<p>maybe its payback time now cause they can sleep through their alarms, and I go in saying GOOD MORNING PRINCESS, and its zzzzzzzz</p>
<p>I take it back, 8ish is fine, just don’t make anymore noise than you would to not disturb your neighbors, that would be mean ;)</p>
<p>You can wake up your kids just by vacuuming? Wow, I’m impressed. My son can sleep through anything–including making cinnamon scones and bacon. (My daughter OTOH can be woken by making blueberry pancakes.)</p>
<p>If it’s a day or two after the kid returns home after exams, I think that 11 a.m. is reasonable and considerate. Afterward, though, I think that it’s appropriate to live your life as you usually do. If the kid decides to sleep in after seeing friends to the wee hours, that’s his right, but you don’t need to change your household schedule so he can sleep in. After all, anyone who is living in a dorm has to deal with noises starting very early - when students go off to their early morning class or other activities. The sleeping student’s world doesn’t quiet down so that he can sleep.</p>
<p>S1 has already started working, but the hours have mostly been in the afternoon. That will change after Memorial Day and he’ll have some very early mornings. So…I have been pretty cool about the late nights and sleeping til noon thing. We try to be quiet about getting S2 and DH out the door for school and work, but I still do all regular things, including some vacuuming. Plus we have a grandfather clock that chimes at least a little bit every quarter hour & much more on the hour. Everyone has learned to sleep through that–it’s quiet between 10:45 p.m and 7:30 a.m.!!</p>
<p>Berurah~I didn’t know you still had your guest!! What a nice visit–say “hi” for us!! I bet they’ve been having a great time!!! And I can’t believe your DH does the vacuuming–I can’t remember the last time mine used one!!! 
But I make my kids use it whenever possible!!! :)</p>
<p>Work out some sort of compromise. Vacuum everywhere but outside his room,a nd make him vacuum that part when he wakes up.</p>
<p>Thanks for the opinions, everyone! He hasn’t complained at all. I waited until 11 a.m. from my own guilt, but he’s been home for 5 full days now, so it’s time for me to get rid of the guilt along with the dust!</p>
<p>He’s been at college. He’s probably slept through a lot worse things than a vacuum cleaner. Believe me.</p>