My husband will be “that guy” answering all the auestions! Lol.
Was thinking of going another weekend, but decided that even if it is crowded, he may be more open to us being there than on a non-parents weekend when he might have other plans. But the crowds and costs are annoying. Probably will only go parents weekend freshman year.
We did a terrible job of planning for both our daughters’ parents weekends, and it’s one of our biggest regrets. I wish I had asked more questions and talked to our kids beforehand. Here’s a good article I wish I had read. http://grownandflown.com/the-best-parents-weekend/ UGH. Can’t get it back.
What were you unprepared for LaundryMom??
good article, will be curious about the dumping parents part.
I’m still debating. She’s an 11 hour drive or fairly arduous flight + drive away and Thanksgiving break is just 2-3 weeks later.
anyone bringing a grandparent? we are and it’s adding a lot of stress
Before you bring a grandparent PLEASE consider the crowds, all the walking (every parking lot will be full no matter big college or small), etc. I myself would definitely prefer to bring a grandparent to see campus on a “not” family weekend!
@rumrunner, I went to only one Parents’ Weekend and it was only my husband and me. My mom (who just turned 87) did come to D2’s graduation this June. My mom can walk but is finding it increasingly difficult and slow-going. My husband persuaded her to use one of the many wheelchairs that the college had available in the Student Center, and that really helped. I was so glad that my mom was able to come. It was almost a family reunion; my sister came, as did my older daughter, who was able to get sufficient days off work and fly in from the west coast.
Here’s my first CC post, to reply to this thread.
Jollypapa and I have plane/hotel reservations to visit our freshman DS halfway across the country for parents weekend. Now he has informed us that his (club) sport has an away meet that weekend that he is “going to attend.” That is, we are pre-dumped. “We could have Sunday dinner together when I get back.”
Note, he didn’t ask our opinion or permission. He is pretty independent-natured and is feeling his oats. Fortunately this news was via text, not phone, so I could ponder my reply and not blow my top.
Jollypapa and I are thinking that we will rent a car at College City’s airport and drive him to the meet ourselves. We expect some pushback, but at least that way we’d get some time to talk, and we’d see him play and meet his teammates. (Which we’d have done, of course, if they’d had a home event.)
Trying not to feel (too) hurt … feel like this is pretty age-appropriate thoughtlessness. He’s devoted to his sport but not obligated to attend this event … don’t know how many other freshmen are going, and how their parents will react!
This has gotten pretty long, and maybe I should have made my own thread. I’ve been enjoying other parents’ thoughts and experiences.
“Jollypapa and I are thinking that we will rent a car at College City’s airport and drive him to the meet ourselves. We expect some pushback, but at least that way we’d get some time to talk, and we’d see him play and meet his teammates. (Which we’d have done, of course, if they’d had a home event.)”
Sorry to hear that you have been pre-dumped, but… Please, do not drive him to the meet! Spending time with the teammates on the bus is a big part of team bonding experience. So let him go with the team. You can definitely come and watch the event - I’m sure the team will appreciate having a couple of fans 
Jollymama, same thing happened for my DD’s freshman parents weekend, but she’s on the varsity team and it was required. She plays in a spring sport, but coach accepted a ‘fall ball’ date after many had made reservations for parents weekend. I decided not to go, but I think a lot of the other parents (some who flew down) just drove to the out of town game, about 3.5 hours, drove back, and did the other weekend activities. Club teams are different, but just as important. My sister drove to some of her daughter’s club games or tournaments, usually within 2 hours of the school, but sometimes farther. She looked at it as a chance to see other parts of the state.
My kid thinks we are coming even though we already said no. It is too pricey to fly across the country for 3 days where we wouldn’t be spending much time with kid anyway. We went to orientation and hardly saw kid at all. I just don’t think we should pay almost $2000 to see kid for an hour or so. I plan on telling child that we will be happy to visit on a later weekend when he can actually spend time together. I dread this conversation since I don’t think it is going to go over well.
I agree with BB on not driving your son to the meet. Meet him there and support him and the team, yes. The coach may actually prefer/require your son to travel with the team.
I can certainly understand your frustration and disappointment too of the situation.
I appreciate the comments about not driving DS to his meet. Does anyone’s opinion differ if it’s not a team bus, but rather three or four players driving in a player’s car and meeting at the event? This is a pretty low-budget, do-it-yourself sport. I’ve been reading CC threads long enough to have great respect for the collective wisdom of the community, so if the consensus is “back off,” I truly will.
@abasket, you named my feelings exactly: frustration and disappointment. Putting the name on them helps me deal. Thanks especially.
Yeah, I still think that it’s best to encourage him to drive with his teammates. Or make the offer and see which he takes - but don’t be offended if he’d rather ride with his friends - that’s healthy to want to be with friends/teammates before a game/match.
The question or conversation you might want to have with your S is this: excitement over his sport but also your disappointment in making these weekend plans (and if you are losing any $$ over squelched plans) and not knowing sooner - IF he could have informed you sooner.
Is there a way to make this trip (and not lose hotel reservation $$, plane ticket $$, etc.) for another weekend AFTER parent’s weekend? When he would be more available???
Non refundable plane tickets, so we may as well go … we’ll see him for a couple of meals, anyway. We’ll be fine … rolling with it as he figures out who he is and we figure out how to parent a hatchling adult.
I’d still let him drive with his friends. Be supportive, enjoy the meals, perhaps ask to include his friends (of course, shift to a less expensive place). Sometimes I find it cheaper to make plane reservations within the month, rather than well in advance, as son’s plans shift.
(This is coming from a mom who just visited son, stayed in hotel as roommates gf came same weekend, so I lost my space in apt. Hotel $700). I wouldn’t trade the meals/time together for anything.
ours went off without a hitch, grandma slowed us down and I had to remind the kids, it’s ok to wait for her and not ok to take off and come back for her, she came to participate, so we’re not leaving her behind. lots of driving and had to use 2 cars but we all made it back home safe and sound. we were lucky with good weather. and the main event, seeing our baby girl, was priceless, let us not wait another 5 weeks, EVER sigh
Sounds great @rumrunner! Another month, almost, until ours.