<p>As I’m starting to make preparations to spread those wings of mine (signing up for summer orientation, looking at housing, etc.) it’s starting to set in that I really am leaving next fall.</p>
<p>What wisdom have you gained through sending your kids away to college that you would share with someone whose older siblings either never went to college or are still in City College and living at home?</p>
<p>Also, I’d like to take a moment to thank all you CC parents. My own parents never really went to college (my dad got his BS in Business Management from University of Phoenix), and you all have been such a wonderful resource for me when my parents don’t have an answer. Thank you so much for answering all my questions and keeping me encouraged!</p>
<p>Go to class even if it sucks. Sit towards the front and don’t text or read the paper. Profs will notice and hate you for it.
Make time for some fun. Treat school like a job. Have set study hours each day sunday-thursday. Friday and saturday should be off days most of the time.</p>
<p>If you have a problem, address it immediately. There’s no shame in asking for assistance, but small things can get big and out of control very quickly if not addressed. Your school and your family will want nothing but success for you, so remember that and let them help you when you need it.</p>
<p>Use the office hours. The prof is there to help you.
Have fun but remember why you are there. Don’t procrastinate.
I went to Sonoma State many years ago as a freshman. It has grown. When I went the school was surrounded by fields not houses and only one set of dorms. I transferred to Cal Poly but I did meet my husband at Sonoma.
Take the Golden Gate transit bus into San Francisco and explore.</p>
<p>Don’t spend too much money. It is not fun to run out before the school year ends!</p>
<p>GO TO CLASS! Study every single day. When you return from class, review your notes, do your reading, and outline whatever you can. Stay on top of your work. See your prof right away if you don’t understand something. Make friends with profs if you can … I had some awesome profs, and I enjoyed going to dinner at their homes, going to the bar with them (drinking age was 18 then), having lunch with them in the cafeteria, etc.</p>
<p>Have fun!!! This is the time to grow as a person. Do fun things. You worked hard in high school to get into college. Enjoy your time. You’ll have a job soon enough, and it’s nice to be able to “remember when …”.</p>
<p>Keep in touch with your parents. They’ll miss you.</p>
<p>Don’t know if they still have it but if they do Go sit by the duckpond. (used to be a quiet relaxing place)
At the time I was at Sonoma most of my friends transferred. I think many of us were just ready to move on. I had a change of major that made my move happen. Remember I have kids your age so it was a long long time ago!
I loved my time at Sonoma.</p>
<p>I also am a first-generation college student with older siblings who didn’t go to college. I can totally relate. My parents didn’t even finish high school, so I was on my own for so much of the process.</p>
<p>I would second the mentions above of being quick to ask profs for help and making a point of getting to know them. No one has used the word mentor, but that’s what a good prof can be – not just helping you in class but in directing internships and jobs your way, writing references on your behalf, etc. Because my parents had never “played the game” it was so helpful to have a couple of profs who could show me the ropes.</p>
<p>I can tell from reading your posts that you’ll be sensitive to your parents’ feelings, but know that your family may not “get” everything you are doing at college and why you’d do it. One shock to me was how angry my mother got when she learned that I wouldn’t be moving home after I graduated and instead would be pursing a career in a nearby city. It never occurred to me to move back home after being on my own for years, but my mom actually said to me that “I should go from my father’s house to my husband’s house.” Now, this had more to do with our culture than my mom’s level of education, but it really pointed out that I had changed a lot at school and that was difficult for everyone involved.</p>
<p>Good luck to you. You seem so level-headed that I am sure you’ll do well.</p>
<p>Sample a little bit of everything. College is a buffet table of things to try. College is also a place to change any label attached to you in HS.
Two ears, one mouth remember that proportion and you’ll meet all sorts of people and make new friends.
Study hard, but find time to play too! Not on the computer but pick up an club sport or activity. Most clubs welcome even the worst participants as long as they come with a smile on their face and a willing attitude.
Just cause you can stay up till 3 am doesn’t mean you should.
Be tolerant, but not a doormat.
Realize that when you complain about how “bad” the dining hall food is, somebody worked hard to make it for you and even more people would consider the best they ever had.
Smile more than you frown.</p>
<p>Take good notes in class.
DO NOT PROCRASTINATE
Take advantage of all the opportunities the college has to offer
Don’t be afraid to switch majors if you realize you don’t like what you are doing
Meet people
Keep an eye on your possessions and always be aware of your surroundings
Excessive amounts of alcohol is the most dangerous hazard any female will face in college. It will make you very stupid very quickly</p>
<p>SSS Programs are federal programs for lower income or first gen college students. The whole aim of them is to help students whose families may not have the experience to guide them through the college years. It’s a terrific program with all sorts of benefits–I work for one of these at another school, so I’ll admit I’m biased, but I really think you should check it out.:)</p>
<p>Here’s the website that describes it; Ican’t find one for the program itself, but the phone number is above. </p>
<p>Many years ago I was a first generation college student. There was much my parents didn’t understand, but they tried most of the time. </p>
<p>My advice: 1. Don’t be surprised when they ask why you’re majoring in “x” or “y.” My parents thought if I was going to school I should be majoring in something that would lead directly to a specific job area. They didn’t understand why I might take Chinese History or a fine arts class. 2. As many have said, use the resources available at your school. In many ways I was emotionally and mentally unprepared for college and the first couple of years it showed in my grades. Just because you’ve done well in HS is no guarantee in college. 3. Set goals for yourself in terms of grades, etc. The advice to treat school like a job is wonderful. Create a routine and stick to it.4. You didn’t mention this, but if it is the case, be prepared for some culture shock, even if you’re in a somewhat familiar surrounding. My family was definitely lower middle class. Even though I was at a state school I was surrounded by peers from more affluent families. I didn’t have the emotional maturity to deal with this as well as I should have and consequently felt less prepared than them in many ways. Learn from those peers that have had more “worldly” experiences than you or have grown up differently than you. You did what it took to get into your school. Take advantage of the opportunities open to you now. 5. Don’t let the freedom and newness go to your head.</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Assert yourself every now and then - in classes, in study groups, in clubs, in the dorm, etc.</p></li>
<li><p>Maximize your time - don’t slack. i.e. if you find yourself with a relatively light load don’t waste your time just sleeping 10 hours a day (surprisingly, some students do) and instead, look around for some other classes to take that might be out of your field or figure out a minor to take. </p></li>
<li><p>Make sure you do get some reasonable amount of sleep. It’ll keep you healthier and make your brain work better. Getting adequate sleep might be more difficult than it seems given late night schedules of students. </p></li>
<li><p>Call or IM your parents and siblings every now and then even if you don’t have much to say - they’ll enjoy hearing from you. While walking to/from class is a good time to call for a few minutes. That way you can have a phone stuck in your ear like every other student walking.</p></li>
<li><p>Invite your parents to visit you on campus every now and then and offer to let them take you and a friend to lunch (and let them pick up the check). You’ve now moved into a new phase of your life where you don’t need to be embarassed to be seen with them anymore (not that you were before) so go ahead and show them around campus and introduce them to your friends. </p></li>
<li><p>Make friends. </p></li>
<li><p>Don’t waste yourself getting wasted (alcohol, drugs) all the time or even ever. Some people will do this but not everyone will. Choose your friends/associations wisely.</p></li>
<li><p>If you’re not from that area, explore a bit.</p></li>
<li><p>Do some sports or clubs if you can. Even if it’s not an organized sport there are usually decent sporting facilities on most campuses.</p></li>
<li><p>Workout. Now’s a good time to get into the regimen. It also will be healthy for your body and mind.</p></li>
</ul>
Well, I don’t think what I said is silly at all. There’s a contingent at a lot of colleges who spend a significant amount of their time getting drunk or high and IMO it’s not the best use of their college years and can have some long-term consequences. There are also some people who don’t drink or do drugs at all in college and there’s nothing wrong with that either.</p>
<p>Academic: (1) keep up with your work on a daily basis. When you don’t have daily “homework,” it can be easy to let things slide and find yourself too buried to dig your way out; (2) go to class; (3) reread your notes right after class and fill in any blanks and clarify anything that’s unclear. When you are rushed, you may not get everything down and if you don’t review the notes for weeks, you may not be able to decipher them; (4) find a good place to study–for me it was the library. Don’t count on being able to study in your room. (5) Take at least one course each semester just for fun or because it sounds interesting. Studies have shown that students who try to fullfill all the general education requirements before taking other courses are less likely to finish college than those who take at least one course each semester which just sounds interesting to them. It’s especially good if it’s a small class.(6) Find out if the prof has taught the class before and, if so, if past exams are available. If so, look them over and if possible make copies BEFORE taking the course. It will give you a better sense of what’s important and what will be expected of you. </p>
<p>Social: (1) Be friendly the first weeks and open to meeting new people, but don’t spill your innermost thoughts to anyone too quickly. It takes time to build real friendships; (2) if you feel uncomfortable in a situation, get out of it. Trust your gut. Don’t let anyone make you think that you are “immature” or “babyish” because you aren’t willing to do something.That is ESPECIALLY true for upperclassmen. (3) Join some extracurriculars–it’s a good way to make friends. Don’t feel that you need to get your bearings academically before joining ECs. (4) Get enough sleep. There will be times when that may not be possible, but really make the effort; (5) Get some exercise. Build it into your schedule. (6) The first few weeks when you eat in the dining room, if you are alone, do NOT read a book or listen to music on headphones. It makes eating alone less awkward, but you might as well put a sign on yourself saying “Don’t bother trying to join me.”</p>
<p>Expand your perceptions and worldview without losing your core inner values. Meet people from many backgrounds without giving up your own. Add on to who you are, rather than feel you must change into something else completely. </p>
<p>Actually, all 3 of those sentences say the same thing but hopefully one will make sense :)</p>
<p>PS, My H often advises this one to departing freshman: anything about yourself you’d like to shed or leave behind, go ahead. It’s a chance to start anew with an even
better version of the self you’d like to be. Few people will know you, so it’s a new start.
Just keep what you still like.</p>
<p>Take a variety of courses: Some courses require daily work (math, languages), others tend to concentrate on midterm, final and a paper or two. </p>
<p>Don’t just take big survey courses, take at least one smaller seminar. If you can take a course that covers something you’ve never studied before. The best course I took in college was Chinese Landscape Painting of the Sung Dynasty. </p>
<p>Find out who the all-star professors are known for dynamic lectures and try to take a few of their courses. I have no regrets about the ones I took.</p>
<p>Consider auditing courses if the subject interests you, but you don’t really want to do all the work. (I went to lectures regularly in at least one course a semester I wasn’t actually taking - mostly art history courses in my case.)</p>
<p>Go to office hours. The professors want to see you - really. Discussing potential paper topics ahead of time is a good idea.</p>
<p>Do things outside of class. Volunteer to do good in the world. Join the literary magazine. Participate in a sport. Whatever floats your boat. That’s my biggest regret from my college days. I should have joined things sooner than I did.</p>
Thank you so much for answering all my questions and keeping me encouraged!</p>