<p>After reading threads lately about parents distraught about the empty nest, I’m wondering if I’m the only parent looking forward to having some “me” time again. Don’t get me wrong: I have loved every minute of being a parent and I stayed home for 15 years (working p/t and then going to grad school but still…) After years of parenting, being a Girl Scout leader, PTA board member, Sunday School teacher, etc., I’m going to have time to pursue my stuff again. Like:</p>
<p>*traveling when we want, and not around a school calendar
*genealogy
*scrapbooking & cross stitch
*maybe even fostering kittens :)</p>
<p>Any words of wisdom from those who have gone before me? And any musings from those getting ready to walk this path for the first time?</p>
<p>I have this dream that when I come home from work at night, the house will look exactly like it did when I left. And that when I wake up, it will look the same as it did when I went to bed. And there will be no shoes left all over the house. Or books. Or magazines. Or the occasional wet towel :)</p>
<p>Getting back to more writing. Did some organizing for same today, throwing an icon on my desktop so I can snitches of notes, dialog, etc., at odd moments in the work day, material to be worked at later when I have 30-60 minutes at a crack to actually write.</p>
<p>Also…so much is on-line that didn’t used to be…I was stunned to see my ACBL membership had expired on 12/31/81. I’m going to start playing duplicate bridge again. TheMom doesn’t play and I miss it a lot but when D was at home there were too many competing demands.</p>
<p>Dinner parties with adults - no parallel kid/teen party in my house at the same time
Bicycle touring. Not just 4 days with the MIL watching the kids, 20 day, 100 mile trips.
Playing more music myself, instead of driving kids to music lessons
Friendships where we talk about philosophy instead of summer camps and other kid stuff</p>
<p>Took ballroom dancing lessons, went out to dinner (that wasn’t at a concessions stand), went camping over Thanksgiving, went to movies. Our kids have become envious of our second life. ;)</p>
<p>We have our main house in the city and an ocean front home on 3 acres of woods located on a nearby island. We love them both but entirely different experiences. Once we are empty nesters, we plan to have a routine of living 3 days on the island, and work 4 days in the city every week (our jobs enable a lot of flexibility so it’s just the kids and their school who keep us in a more conventional lifestyle). Aside from that, not much else will change as I think I will just work more.</p>
This covers a lot of it for me. I’m not in shape for the 20 day 100 mile stuff–but certainly more biking. And my amazing friends bought me a cello for my 50th birthday, which I have had to pretty much leave sitting in a corner. Maybe I can start taking lessons.</p>
<p>Also: cooking and eating any food we like, without having to pick something from the list of 10 or 12 things he will eat.</p>
<p>Urg! After my kids go?!!! I’ll still have my 93 year old mother living with us, and probably my college-educated son returning here 'cuz he can’t find a job. I’m the squish generation. Squish and there goes my freedom!</p>
<p>Traveling whenever we want instead around the school calendar and our son’s activities. Also, I plan to move my art table and supplies into son’s room where there is much better light and spend more time on that.</p>
<p>Oh, and having a standing Friday date with my husband through the fall. We’ve had Friday night football for six years!</p>
<p>And most of all - not having to wait up for son when he is out late. That’s been one of the hardest things the last few years. I can’t truly sleep into he’s in the house for the night.</p>
<p>The only thing I am NOT looking forward to is the lack of ‘fun’ money. Hopefully S2 will get a major scholarship or opt for a public university!</p>
<p>I am looking forward to traveling without having to do a major house cleaning prior to leaving. (Mother in law watches the kids)</p>
<p>I would like to take up welding or stained glass.</p>
<p>The only thing I’m likely to do that I don’t already do is accompany my husband to some of his meetings and cook more food that my kids don’t like - lots more fish!</p>
<p>Well, when this one is gone, I still have another at home. But when they are both gone, I look forward to happy hours with friends without feeling bad that I’m missing “family” time. Last night, I went out with a bunch of friends and it was SO fun. Really looking forward to happy hours instead of lunches, when the kids are in school.</p>
<p>I see freedom beginning in 5 months, three weeks. My daughter got her driving permit last week, and looks to be a very solid driver. I think the Monday after her 16th birthday will be a big day for me. I’ll get 10 hours back a week I spend driving her places, not to mention saving 1/2 a tank of gas. I will have my whole weekend days free, so I don’t have to cut tennis socials or bike rides short to pick her up. I can sign up for evening classes. I’m thinking maybe conversational Italian. I will be able to visit my older one at college, as I will be able to find people to watch my younger one without having to drive her places.</p>
<p>After she leaves for school I’m planning on moving to a smaller home that is easier to care for. No pool, no high tech stuff I need to fuss with to run. And much smaller, so I can find things. I will be able to accompany my boyfriend on his business trips. And take girls outings to visit friends across the country or the world. And even better, I will be free to visit both girls whenever I want, without finding folks to stay with the younger one.</p>
<p>I was a stay-at-home mom. Since the kids started college I began working part-time and taking classes to increase and update my job skills. Not too glamorous… no island homes, bicycle tours, music lessons… but the days feel productive and I LOVE not having to make dinner every night and having to go to the grocery store so often. Hubby can make do for himself quite nicely. ;)</p>