Parents, what do I do with a boss like this?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Background: I was hired about 8 months ago. This job is at a high volume restaurant. </p>

<p>I have two managers, one has never ever ever criticized me and always says I’m doing a good job (Manager A). She treats me like an equal. The other (Manager B) treats me like I’m way below him, is very controlling, and has a bad impression of me (I barely work with him).</p>

<p>Long story short: I was new when the first situation happened. It was a very busy day and I had a customer complain about me.</p>

<p>Later my manager sat me in his office. Apparently the customer had told him that I made rude racist remarks (??? the guy was Asian like me so I don’t get it), didn’t apologize at all for the racism, made him wait 30 minutes for a table, all these bad things, etc. which were ALL lies! I explained to him none of that happened, told him my story, how I actually apologized THREE times (the guy kept saying I couldn’t do my job, I suck, he could do it better when I brought him to his table – so I apologized for my behavior [even though I didn’t know what I did] to all of his remarks). </p>

<p>He didn’t believe me, it seems? His reply: “I don’t care. We don’t treat customers that way. You better be careful on how you behave, you’re still on probation.”</p>

<p>Throughout these last 8 months since then, he has been very controlling. When I work with Manager A, she doesn’t tell me what to do but helps me when I need help. Manager B will criticize me, tell me to do this and that, do this that way, and then another day will tell me to do it another way. He also seldom helps me when I need help.</p>

<p>He also talks down on me as if I can’t handle customers. He implies that I’m bad at what I do, but has never directly said it. I’ve had two previous jobs in high volume retail stores so I have dealt with rude customers of all kinds before and know how to handle them. He barely works with me, so I feel like he has no basis for his opinions.</p>

<p>Today really shocked me though. I was dealing with a customer who was rude. He started swearing at me, so I called my MOD which was Manager B. Ironically, in the previous meeting, he specifically said to notify the MOD if a customer becomes threatening so they can handle it. He didn’t help me at all, instead told me to get the customer and just seat him. </p>

<p>I said “are you sure?” and explained to B that we were on a wait list. The customer swore at me because he saw some opened tables through the window but I told him he needed to wait about 10-15 minutes. However, we give out pagers so customers can wander while they wait, so the opened tables are reserved for them. I had paged these customers already, so they were on the way. B just said to seat him again, so I did. </p>

<p>Consequently, this meant that the paged customers who came had to wait an additional 10-15 minutes because the rude guy took his table. They, in turn, got angry at me for paging them when the table wasn’t even ready. My manager said “it doesn’t matter, they can wait, we don’t have tables anyway now.”</p>

<p>B then came and talked to me privately. This shocked me! He said “You don’t question me when I tell you to do something. I told you to sit him, so sit him. I’m your manager, don’t question me.” Then I explained I was just concerned that because I paged a party, it’d be unfair for their seat to be taken by some guy. He said something along the lines of “Is this how you treat customers? I don’t think you’re fit for this job if this is how you handle situations.” </p>

<p>CC, I feel like this boss is just picking on me. What do you guys think and do you guys think I should take action? Should I just speak to this manager one-on-one? Or am I just overreacting and this is just a “mean” boss I’ve never had? </p>

<p>Also, NOTE: Manager B seems miserable every day at his job and everyone sees it. Others also agree with me that he doesn’t handle situations well.</p>

2

<p>I would avoid speaking to this manage in private, as then it will be your word against his word. I would speak to the other manager about the situation and if it can not be resolved, I would look for another job. Sometimes there are people like this and when they are put in managerial positions, you don’t want to be on their payroll. </p>

<p>I found when I was younger, working as a waitress, some managers looked down on me and treated me poorly. Fortunately, we live in a nice area and I never had any problems with customers swearing or being overly pushy. </p>

<p>I hope things work out for you.</p>

3

<p>There are some bad bosses, and sometimes it’s just not your fault. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it. Sometimes you have to lick your wounds, limit your losses, and move on. Hopefully, if you need it, you’ll get a good reference from Manager A. </p>

<p>Believe me, I’ve had more than my share of bad bosses. And guess what – it’s not you, it’s them. Move on.</p>

4

<p>As ANNE said I would avoid talking to him privately. He’s already shown that he doesn’t care about your side of any story. Are you singled out or does he do this to other employees as well? How long is your probation period? Record your conversations. Ask manager A for advice. Good luck.</p>

5

<p>Are the two managers the owners or franchisee, or do you all work for somebody else? If they are the owners, I would address this with manager A. If there is someone above them, I would speak with that person. Ask that person what you should do if a similar situation should arise again. If it is against what manager B says to do, be prepared for some backlash. </p>

<p>Also be aware of manager B’s relationship with the owner. If he is related, it may not matter that you are right and he is wrong. If he has had trouble holding other jobs, the owner could protect him, even if it means losing other good employees. It’s not fair, but that’s how life sometimes works.</p>

6

<p>@VeryHappy – Thanks! Manager A had told me that same thing “It’s not you, it’s them” and I thought she was just being passive since they are co-workers and didn’t want to cause drama. </p>

<p>@ANNE: Thanks for the advice! This is my first “bad” boss so I didn’t know what to do. I’ll definitely start looking for another job in the meantime. My own parents have advised me of that, thanks so much!</p>

<p>@gouf78: I’m singled out along with another young girl with me. She had told me Manager B said to her “you’re even lucky to be here, we had another girl ahead of you but she didn’t pass her drug test.” We both are the youngest and relatively least experienced hires. </p>

<p>I have no solid proof, how would I bring this up with the big boss if I am able to see him? They would be just our words against his, as when Manager A is on duty, Manager B is off and vice versa.</p>

7

<p>Most of this depends on how great your job is. You say “high end” restaurant–so how great is it? Pay wise. Good enough pay that you can’t do as well down the street? There are some restaurants that people make life-long careers of. That would be worth hanging on to in a lot of cases. Hopefully those places have better managers than you are running into.
Proof–you have none unless you have recordings, video, witnesses. And some real back-up from others including managers. It’s all going to be he said-she said stuff. Which is why it comes down to how great a job this is. Career? Do something. Part time or interim work? Go find a new better job.
Get a good reference from good manager and chuck the rest. If you don’t NEED or desperately WANT this job for the future it won’t be worth fighting this boss battle. And that sucks. We all know it.</p>

8

<p>It sounds callus but bad bosses happen. Basically, you can get another job or deal with it. Don’t bad mouth him when you go looking for another job.</p>

<p>If you feel you want to go to a higher up, try not to have a laundry list of complaints. It is much easier for them to replace you than him. They may only “take your side” if they already don’t like him. </p>

<p>This is a no win situation.</p>

9

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<p>So sad. And so true. Welcome to Real Life.</p>