Yep! I guess I’d be sad if she didn’t. I just thought it was pretty clear that we cared. It would be a sad day for her tomorrow if we REALLY didn’t. It was her last day of school today - I think that might have had something to do with her little fit - a sort of angsty day for her.
My S passed on the prom and went away for the weekend with a few friends. But for my D it was a huge boost. She was always really small growing up and was very late to develop – and I guess partly as a defense mechanism she got into a habit of wearing jeans and converse to school all the time. She really blossomed junior/senior year to a lovely young lady (yes, I’m prejudiced) but never changed her wardrobe or how she felt about herself (no matter what I said). So she went to prom with a good friend, got a lovely gown, high heels, had her hair and make-up done and wow --she blew a lot of people away – friends, parents, teachers AND most importantly herself. I think it was the first time she really saw herself as an attractive young woman. I guess it is superficial to a point, but it really boosted her self-esteem and confidence right before college (and yes, she ditched the converse every day for a more well rounded college wardrobe).
For the negatives, the cost has spiraled out of control…
What annoys me is that people now call it “prom”, instead of “the prom”. What’s up with that? Sounds too self important. 
a short prom story: my dear friend with 2 girls in HS lost her husband to cancer a few years ago. We’ve all read about the effects of losing a parent on CC and other places. It’s been hard on them. But her DD15 was named prom queen 2 years ago in a school of 2000+; and just last weekend her younger daughter was crowned prom queen as well. We are so proud of these girls, and my friend as a single parent, with this all. The family has done so well and the girls are so respected and liked despite their tragedy. It was a really sweet and gratifying time for them.
just thought i’d share that after coming home from her grad party right now.
prom was ok for my DS; for my DD the best part was dress shopping. She looked so good. Oh to that age again.
Back in the day, I detested prom. If you couldn’t get a date, you didn’t go. All that pressure.
D goes to a small school and I really liked how they did it. The ticket was inexpensive. The school sponsored a buffet style dinner before the dance. The majority of the kids went in friend groups. My D lucked into a gorgeous gown at a consignment shop and she did her own hair and makeup. Most of her friend group also took a low key approach and weren’t looked down on by those that had gone all out on their appearance. I don’t believe they had a Prom King and Queen. It was just a nice opportunity for everybody to get together and get dressed up.
After reading some of these accounts, I think my kids’ HS did prom pretty well.
Prom is held at the HS, which keeps the costs down. Going in groups is very common. Limousines are not common. The parents put on an elaborate after-prom at the HS that the kids love. Some kids skip prom and just attend after-prom. Tickets are sold separately for both events. I don’t remember the total cost, but I think 2 people could attend both events for $100 or less. No prom king/queen.
My S took his gf to senior prom, but she wasn’t allowed to stay out that late for after-prom, so he invited his best guy-friend who was a sophomore as his date to after-prom.
To be honest, the part my kids disliked was the actual dancing part. They liked getting dressed up for prom. S was in orchestra/choir and already had a tux. D is a great bargain shopper and the cost for her dresses for both junior and senior years was less than $100 combined. Make-up was done at the mall. A friend of mine who is a former hair-dresser did her hair.
My kids’ HS is a large, urban school with 70% on free and reduced lunch. They also started having a Prom Closest where formal dresses/tuxes/suits were donated. Prom was a community event - people showed up to watch the “red carpet” arrivals of those attending. Local newspaper photographed it. It was pretty fun!
My biggest gripe is how much prom - especially after prom - has become a thing for parents to get involved with around here. I don’t like how prom is held at a venue more than half hour drive from school, but it’s reasonably priced (I think it was $30 a ticket if you bought early), there aren’t over-the-top promposals, and going in a large group of friends is common, so we definitely have it better than other parents
I just don’t understand the after prom. It’s just as expensive as prom, and it ends at 4:30am. Who thinks it’s a good idea to send a bunch of 16-18yos on the road at 4:30? (It’s actually illegal in our state for newly licensed drivers to be on the road between 1-5am.) In addition, someone creates a signup genuis with over 250 volunteer spots and then hounds parents relentlessly because they never get enough volunteers to help out. It’s become a big parent showcase, and it should be run by students.
I do complain to D about how sad it is that guys don’t get cumberbunds and bow ties that match their dates dresses anymore. Seems a lot of the 80s are back in style, but not that!
Dislikes: promposals; expense; narcissism-fueled thinking that everything has to be over the top; ridiculous rules that legislate what the girls can wear (read the WSJ article, among others); the idea that you have to pair off
Likes: my kids’ school hired a motorcoach to take anyone who didn’t want to drive or hire a limo to the venue. It was never at a hotel and always included dinner. It was perfectly acceptable to take the bus and to go solo.
Our school provides an after-prom party at an indoor athletic center that’s run by adult volunteers. This attracts most of the couples because it’s an alternative to drinking etc., it’s free, and is a great way to end the evening. Couples show up whenever they want after their prom, change their clothes, and many moms organize great activities for them to choose from. Dozens of local businesses donate free prizes that are given out throughout the evening and wee hours. Couples can win thousands of dollars for college, new computers and cell phones and electronics, or sizable gift certificates, for example. Both of my kids came home with nice prizes and stories about how much fun they had.
The party ends in the early morning hours and groups of kids typically head over to a parent’s house for breakfast. It’s a long night for everyone (especially the moms), so we don’t get to see them until after they have slept in for several hours. It’s a peaceful night for us parents and we don’t wonder where they went or if they have gotten into trouble. All it takes are active parents willing to lead it.