<p>Thank you very much.</p>
<p>I come from point of view that looks at bragging as tempting fate. When others have commented on my kids’ successes, I always try to point out the element of good fortune, and luck, involved. S1 had a successful college app season last year, and I do find some parents who quiz me, looking for a magic formula. The reality is that there are no short cut magic tricks for raising healthy, intact kids. And, like Alumother, there was some luck for mine that I found their quirks interesting and a puzzle worth solving. I’m working on S2 now – from one point of view I could talk about GPA, classes, test scores, ECs or whatever. But I have found that for my kids, anyway, their talents and intellect come at a price. Neither is what I would call placid or easy-going. I usually just describe them as ‘high maintenance.’ So for parents who only highlight the successes, you can be sure that there is probably some background of stress or anxiety, sport injuries, emotional upsets that are the price for being a wunderkind. Like others have said, I find that the response is a simple, “That’s wonderful! What are you doing for the Holidays?” Acknowledge what they are trying to say and change the subject.</p>
<p>All kinds of kids can be high maintenance, of course – not just the bright and talented.</p>
<p>Audiophile has it right.</p>
<p>I constantly am bumping into two people who are simply bragging machines. Because I know them, I feel like I am supposed to be in a conversation with them – but it is so much work to find anything to talk about that keeps me out of the bragging loop. (Probably because all we have in common is our kids’ activities.) So, I end up avoiding them like the plague. (You know, quick go down another aisle at the grocery store…)</p>
<p>These same people have been bragging and over-involved since preschool. It really is awful.</p>
<p>This forum is great for discussing college-related issues. I also agree with Alumother - it is also a safe place to do some occasional bragging that would not be acceptable IRL. Plus it can be hard to brag if no one knows what you are talking about. My D came home for Thanksgiving and decided to run some errands around the neighborhood wearing her college sweatshirt with the big “HOPKINS” letters. One of the neighbors asked if she was attending a 2 year or a 4 year school. So much for showing off.</p>
<p>If anyone wants to do some bragging, it is fine with me. It is nice to hear some parents who are very interested and proud of their kids.</p>
<p>Alumother, I was LOL when I saw your description of oh-she-of-the-strong-will. If yours is like mine, that is not just bragging, but more a source of constant amazement and often some intense frustration.</p>
<p>edad:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>LOL!</p>
<p>“…her college sweatshirt with the big “HOPKINS” letters. One of the neighbors asked if she was attending a 2 year or a 4 year school. So much for showing off.”</p>
<p>At least they didn’t say something about Anthony ;)</p>
<p>
You have it right. I never bragged about her strong will, as when she was little usually anyone within a 50 foot radius was already well aware of it…</p>
<p>I also find the bragging in real life by a couple of people irritating. I don’t mind it here on CC, though. In fact, I find it fascinating, perhaps because it is usually presented in a somewhat balanced manner, or as a prelude to asking, “What do I do with this kid who is good at such and such,” rather than simply blaring out “My son is BRILLIANT! He’s so BRILLIANT” --yes, I actually know someone IRL who likes to proclaim that in a very loud manner, and she doesn’t clarify what he is brilliant at, just that he is SO BRILLIANT!!! Yeah, gets old, and is weird. I also heard her yelling to someone not very long ago about her daughter who is in high school and is doing so well and is a SUPERSTAR! uckky. </p>
<p>It is easier to just scroll past posts on CC that irritate, not so easy to scroll past real people sometimes . . .</p>
<p>My son is brilliant, Brilliant, BRILLIANT!</p>
<p>…of course he is only seven years old and at the moment, refuses to eat his dinner
we are now engaged in a centurys old battle of wits and as Ive been through this before, with his big sister, I have a few devious tricks of my own that I am preparing to unleash;)</p>
<p>a friend is having difficulty with her D and friends who are high school freshmen.
already this year- her daughter and her friends have snuck out at an overnight- hired a taxi to take them to a party for seniors- and stayed out till 3, only coming home when the mother found out they were gone and demanded they come home.( they got a ride from one of the seniors- oh its ok mom- he is the designated driver!)</p>
<p>This group is determined to push the envelope apparently- and when my friend had a strong indication that one of the girls was supplying the others with alcohol, she called up this girls parents to discuss her concerns.</p>
<p>Instead of wanting to get more information/discuss- this 2nd girls mother was quite adamant that HER daughter was a good girl-popular-pretty-good in sports- good grades- etc ( of course none of those things have anything to do with experimenting with drugs/alcohol)</p>
<p>MOREOVER- she and her husband BOTH had PHDS!!! so they couldn’t possibly have a child that was doing anything that could be considered to be less than stellar in everyway.( she apparently stressed this several times)</p>
<p>I suggested to my friend that she fax her and her husbands resume for further consideration.( she has a MA and her H has a PHD- she said instead she was going to open the door barefoot and with her teeth blacked out)</p>
<p>My D came home for Thanksgiving and decided to run some errands around the neighborhood wearing her college sweatshirt with the big “HOPKINS” letters. One of the neighbors asked if she was attending a 2 year or a 4 year school. So much for showing off.</p>
<p>Lol
Reed is such a small school that very few men on the street probably have ever heard of it- however when we were at the beach last summer- a young woman working on her sailboat- was quite excited when she saw Ds sweatshirt and had to stop us to chat about it. It was pretty cute.</p>
<p>fendrock-
I read your post this morning as taking a shot at the parental units here. Rereading it 12 hrs later with all the posts-of-the-day in between was helpful in seeing it in a different light. Sorry if I misunderstood. </p>
<p>As for off-putting braggarts, I agree that CC is a “safe” place to share our excitements and our disappointments. In the real world, the bragging reminds me of sitting through a slideshow of someones summer vacation to the grand Canyon. Yawn. With close friends, I enjoy sharing in their excitement. I am proud for them and with them. But in general conversation with someone you don’t know all that well, or someone who takes bragging as a sport that they’ve lettered in, not fun.</p>
<p>Even worse is the class brainiac who asks all the other “smart” kids how they did on a test just so he can tell them his grade. At the risk of sounding like I am bragging (I’m not, reeeeeally) I must say that I vicariously enjoyed it when this brainiac kid asked my s. what he got on his SAT at the end of their junior year. When my s told him his score, the brainiac just said “oh-- that’s better than I did”, and wouldn’t tell his score. Yes, they all have their day!</p>
<p>D isn’t much on bragging on herself, but her friends are Hell on Wheels. Is that bragging by proxy? Maybe. Heck, she’s a senior. Why worry now? A couple wear T-shirts with “My Best Friend is Smarter Than Your Best Friend”.</p>
<p>Just stumbled on this thread. To be honest, I haven’t found many parents on CC who really brags, or did so annoyingly. I almost never talk about my S unless the topic itself was appropriate. It’s about sharing common experiences about our children, and the metrics here are test scores, EC, GPA, AP/honor classes…etc. Sorry if that seemed to offend you.</p>
<p>Woodwork–nice try, but it has to have sound with it, (a loud nasally tone is best), to be truly irritatingly, gratingly obnoxious.</p>
<p>A Real Life thing, not cc:</p>
<p>I always liked math, really numbers in general and I seem to not forget them. If someone tells me what their kid got on the SAT that’s it, I have it and likely won’t forget it. I even remember many classmates from hs long ago and their scores.</p>
<p>Anyway what I’ve come across a number of times, and this is the PARENTS talking, is their kid’s SAT scores that just get higher and higher (and no, not because their child has actually retaken the test).</p>
<p>I’ll be told their kid scored a 1270. Then in passing it’ll be up to “13 and change”; later it’ll be yes my D got in that school with her 1400.</p>
<p>I’ve caught several people doing this. Moral of story: brag if you want but don’t lie about the SAT scores.</p>
<p>2331clk, yeah, that trusty search feature stops some of that numbers creep on CC doesn’t it? Another good thing about having these conversations on-line only.</p>
<p>So what good is a fish story if the fish doesn’t get bigger with each telling?</p>
<p>BTW, my W tells me that the neighbor who thought Hopkins was a 2 year school feels sorry for my D because my D had trouble getting into college and has to go to school in Baltimore. It’s all in your perspective.</p>
<p>edad</p>
<p>I don’t . . . it’s just . . . your neighbor . . . .</p>
<p>Sorry, I’m speechless :)</p>