<p>How come some parents do all of the work that their sons or daughters should be doing? I am proud that my parents care enough to let me make decisions for myself. Aren’t these parents afraid that their kids won’t do well if they don’t ever step back?</p>
<p>Philly - Just because a parent posts here doesn’t mean that a student hasn’t done all the hard work. Just because your parent doesn’t post here doesn’t make me think they are uncaring “throw you out the door at 18 parents”. I happen to enjoy reading the posts and seeing what others are saying…my student has absolutely no interest in reading any of this or posting. If you think that means he doesn’t make his own decisions, your wrong.</p>
<p>but it seems to me that some parents embarrass their children here, whether or not they mean to do that, and make them less able to enjoy the process of making decisions on their own. and some parents in their interest to seem interesting tell way too much about their sons and daughters. so that it is easy to know so much about somebody who isn’t sharing information about him or herself (where he/she comes from, which school he will be in, which house he will live in, which languages he speaks, what other universities may have rejected him/her, how he/she feels about his or her minority status)</p>
<p>just saying…</p>
<p>I see your point. I am amazed when parents and students post their GPA and SAT scores and other details.</p>
<p>However, this is a forum where people feel they can ask and get opinions from others who may have similiar situations or concerns. Remember, your parents probably have conversations with their friends about how well you did or didn’t do in a class or what colleges they think that you will or won’t get into. Just because it isn’t posted here for the world to see, don’t assume that those topics aren’t being discussed by them as well.</p>
<p>I can understand that, Lakemom.
On the Preview Days that I attended, one mom kept interrupting one of the deans who was giving a tour. Her son kept asking her to be quiet, and honestly she was saying sort of rude things and keeping the rest of us from hearing about the house I was most interested in.</p>
<p>Lakemom - Thank you. Very well put.</p>
<p>PhillyfanAG95 - I can see how that would be very upsetting (mom talking for student while student is there, interrupting). Yes we parents do tend to overshare sometimes. On other groups, I’ve seen parent forums just for their school, but haven’t seen that here. So that’s why you see parents asking about here (yes, there is a parents section, but not just for Penn). We all worry in our own way about our students going away to college. Some people live near the school or have family near the school or know students who go to the school and ask them, some of us have some or none of that, and ask here. Just saying…LOL</p>
<p>The day I’m not involved in my kids’ lives is the day I’m buried. They are everything to my wife and me.</p>
<p>mrdysart - LOL. True true.</p>
<p>Isn’t that a line from “Oedipus”, mrdysart</p>
<p>A big thing at a lot of schools is overactive parents. Many times parents’ care for their children is too much, and it does actually stunt students’ personal growth. Realistically, by the time you start applying to colleges, you should do the work, and your parents should support you and help you when you need it, but they shouldn’t be asking the questions for you.</p>
<p>I’ve experienced the negative aspects of having parents too involved in their kids’ lives… kids come into Penn and have no idea what to do when they get here, and they are really behind the eight ball.</p>
<p>If you have parents who are more hands off, I applaud you. My parents decided once I was sixteen that I could handle my own problems, and they have only supported me financially since then; I’ve asked them for advice, of course, but they recognize that I can handle myself well. That’s worked incredibly to my advantage…my parents had nothing to do with finding housing, courses or jobs, and both they and I are proud of the fact that I didn’t need the help to thrive on my own.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you aren’t ready to make all of those decisions on your own, it’s pretty important that your parents TEACH you how without doing it for you.</p>
<p>One last thought on all this…just because a parent asks a question, doesn’t mean they are asking for their child. And on this forum, as Lakemom said, it’s a place people come to ask questions and possibly get answers for themselves…to share their concerns. Every parent decides how they will parent and there is no perfect way. No one sends their student away to college without some concerns…especially when it’s far away.</p>
<p>I see the points made by students as well as moms.</p>
<p>D usually surfs school web pages to get direct and reliable information, and emails school officials to ask questions. She does her work, but as a parent I also want to know. If I ask D all the time, she will be bothered. Then CC comes handy for second-hand, digested information. School web pages are complicated and hard to follow. That’s why I hover over you guys. Sorry. I’ll leave you guys alone when D moves to her dorm in September.</p>