<p>How do you feel about the lifestyle that your kids will most likely be enjoying at College (smoking drinking, having lots of sex)?</p>
<p>and this differs from high school how?
At least they are adults in college.
;)</p>
<p>I am shocked. Time sure has changed.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t generalize.
Not all kids engage in these activities while in college.</p>
<p>Thank you, editor. You beat me to it.</p>
<p>Ok, maybe not having lots of sex, at least not our girls, only the boys. </p>
<p>I remember when I was in high school (long time ago), we were told good girls didn’t have sex, but it’s ok for the boys. I used to think who the heck they were suppose to have sex with.:)</p>
<p>I don’t think many kids take up smoking in college.</p>
<p>jealousy??</p>
<p>This is my feeling: as parents, we do the best we can to guide our kids. We give them lots of advice, suggestions, etc. At some point, we have cut those proverbial apron strings and let them make their own decisions. We hope that our guidance has sunk in and they make the right choices, but they will make mistakes and that’s how they learn. I have a D starting college in the fall. She’s going to a Big 10. We have a great relationship, and our communication is wonderful. I instill as much as I can, but ultimatley, she has to make her own choices regarding her actions. Her father and I will always be there for her, and she knows that.</p>
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<p>I’m glad they’re doing exactly what I did. ;)</p>
<p>Interesting wording. You ask about the lifestyle they will be “enjoying”, but I don’t think they all enjoy it so much. Certainly some do, and certainly some go to college with that lifestyle in mind. There is a really ugly side to it with out-of-control behavior that leads to a lot of misery. I hear a lot of complaints from my s’s friends about this stuff. My ds isn’t into that scene and lives in a dorm community of like-minded kids. They’re a really tight-knit group and they have a lot of fun together, and nobody has to step over the puddles of puke in the hallway. </p>
<p>It seems to me that there is this weird fallacy surrounding college that you’re living in some bubble and can shun all common sense and still come through it just fine. I find it puzzling that this hasn’t evolved at all.</p>
<p>I really didn’t think it could get worse than the very good time I had in college, but it seems to have. I’ve had years to adjust though, because my kids went to HS in NYC. Any of you who’ve caught a few episodes of Gossip Girl will understand. So I knew who the drug mule was in their high schools and the kids who supplied the alcohol.</p>
<p>My freshman tells me that kids go out every night. The frats are know for which has the Monday party and the Tuesday party. Please, we waited until at least Wednesday! </p>
<p>And the hook ups are truly disturbing. We had an excuse, we didn’t know about AIDS and that all these years later there still wouldn’t be a cure for Herpes! And the STD rates blow my mind!</p>
<p>Most young adults – married or not – are having sex. I don’t have a problem with it unless they are having unsafe sex, are risking a pregnancy when they aren’t ready for one, or are exploiting others or being exploited themselves.</p>
<p>Most college students don’t smoke. In fact, the more educated people are, the less likely they are to smoke.</p>
<p>While many college students drink heavily, many do not. Not every college student’s idea of fun is getting drunk. Even as a college student, I didn’t understand why anyone thought that drunkenness was fun. Why get drunk when one can have real fun like dancing, playing games, talking to people and flirting?</p>
<p>I was disappointed when I learned that one of my sons idea of fun was to drink to drunkenness and then make what I considered a fool of himself. I thought he had more good sense than that. He is the same son who took up smoking in college. I had thought he had more good sense than to do that, too, but it’s his life. He is the one living with his choices.</p>
<p>I know my sons have to live their own lives just as I have had to live mine.</p>
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<p>The highest risk time for taking up tobacco smoking is middle school.</p>
<p>Or were you talking about marijuana?</p>
<p>My offspring don’t smoke tobacco; one of them doesn’t drink alcohol at all and the other didn’t start until he was legal; and both seem to have sexual relationships rarely if at all. </p>
<p>It seems that other people’s kids are having all the “fun.”</p>
<p>I asked my D (college junior) this question…after she stopped laughing and drying the tears that streamed down her face from same laughter she asked…“Is THAT what’s supposed to take place in college???”</p>
<p>Am I the only one who grew up in the 70’s?</p>
<p>From what I have seen, kids are less likely to engage in the activities mentioned by OP, than from what I observed by my peers thirty years ago.</p>
<p>Jealous, of their youth.</p>
<p>emerladkity, that is simply not the case.</p>
<p>We just do it on the down low better than y’all did it.</p>
<p>We just do it on the down low better than y’all did it.</p>
<p>uh. huh.
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no actually- that it isn’t true.
One- you have no idea how ya’ll did it-
I still see a high number of auto accidents involving young people, but I also see students engaged to a greater level in extra curricular activities in high school and even middle school. Kids are busier & motivation and involvement are a deterrent to substance use.
Why have cheap sex if you are experiencing the thrill of going to Ghana to teach students your age the world accessible with computers? Making a connection with people a world away who you now can talk with.
Why get high if you are learning to scuba dive? Substances aren’t needed ( or wanted) in the world that exists hidden under the sea.
My peers had parents who were going through the 70’s.
They were divorced and busy with their own concerns- or they were working so much to blot out that they weren’t involved with their own lives, let alone their children’s , that they had no idea of what was going on in the schools.
In my city, adults who are community members and parents are in the schools every day. They attend meetings, they are * in * the classrooms and on field trips.
Teachers are mentors and even give out their home number to students, there is greater connection between the generations than I saw thirty years ago.</p>