My kids didn’t fight that much because of age difference. D1 was at times more like a mother to D2. When D1 went off to college she gave me a list of D2’s schedule. She told me D2 had to be reminded of putting her hair up for ballet, and D2 didn’t like to be alone at night, so we had to take her with us when we were going out or get a sitter for her. Even now, D1 is the first person D2 contacts when “you know what” hits the fan.
The other day at Whole Foods, I noticed all kinds of really small cakes in the bakery section. Good idea for twins or others with the same birthday. You can get them their own small one in their favorite flavor. And they are big enough for a couple of people.
My kids still fight over shotgun at the ages of 21 and 27. 
Yes, some very fine bakeries also have nice mini cakes or one could get slices at Cheesecake Factory. Since we aren’t so much into sweets, one cake for both kids to share worked fine for us.
One of the reasons we had only two kids is because of the endless fights in my childhood over who had to sit on the hump. It was usually the youngest, because he was much smaller and much younger than us two older ones, so he fit there better. He only had two kids too. My middle brother had four, but they drove a Suburban.
Great way to decide how many kids to have. 
I am with you 100%, inthegarden, and also sorry about your loss.
lol, alh #53: “the running of the bulls with toddlers” That is an absolutely classic phrase! If I ever write a book about my child-rearing days, I would like your permission to use it as the title (with appropriate citation, of course!), unless you will be writing one yourself.
Now my kids try to use shotgun to edge me out of the front seat. Usually doesn’t work. I never knew all the shotgun rules at least in my house! (have to be able to see the car, first one to touch it)
We would usually switch off the front seat - one got it going, the other coming back. Luckily, the age difference was such that there were usually only 2 out of the 3 that were eligible for the front seat at a time (other would be too young or off at college). Now as young adults, they tend to argue more over shotgun (or over who gets to drive) on those occasions when they are all home and we are going somewhere.
Now, one of mine likes to drive, so she usually does. If I’m along, they give me shotgun. If I want the back, then I have to press for it, lol.
LOL, well not the only reason. I only have two hands. We weren’t rolling in money. I wanted time to do other things and I thought two kids was about all I could handle. Same brother didn’t want three because he didn’t like the dynamics of being the middle child, but he wanted more than two.