<p>Wear the necklace, don’t wear the necklace…it seems to be split down the middle here, but my view is to wear something flattering but conservative and not wear the necklace. Even if it ends up that the necklace would have been fine, better to err on the side of caution on this one.</p>
<p>I always remember who gave me jewelry, nice pieces, I mean. I’d dress nicely but not flashy. The first in 20 years seeing these people, I’d be cautious and get the feel of the land. My cousin now includes her ex husband at grandkids parties, and it is so nice to talk as mature adults. </p>
<p>Thanks for all the great responses! </p>
<p>I don’t think my ex-sister-in-law (or anyone in my ex’s family) blames just me for the divorce, but I did wonder briefly what I would do if she asked for the necklace back 
I don’t think she would. (But if she did, I’d be ok with giving it back – no hard feelings.) </p>
<p>These folks are from another culture and flashy is definitely the way to go. I’m pretty sure I’d attract more attention trying to be understated than I would going all out with the bling, so it’s not a question of detracting from my son’s event. I have exactly one outfit that will work for this party, but I could get some costume jewelry to replace the necklace I had in mind. </p>
<p>After reading all these opinions, I’m inclined to take the advice of those who are saying that it’s not worth the risk. Maybe she’d like to see me wearing her gift or maybe she wouldn’t, but perhaps this isn’t the time to find out. I’ll get the lay of the land this time and then we’ll see if the occasion comes up again. </p>
<p>I agree that it’s very nice that they invited me and my (current) husband. I know my son is happy that they did.</p>
<p>sounds good.</p>
<p>By the way, I like your moose. Simple, clean lines. Makes me think I should change my avatar.</p>
<p>Enjoy the party. Save the necklace for another time, only because you would be thinking about it, SIL might not even remember it. You don’t need the added pressure of wondering who is noticing the necklace-- I vote for skip it.</p>
<p>Agreed, thanks! Bookworm, your avatar illustrates your user name very well :-)</p>