<p>My grades were awful and so now my mom has returned to her old controlling self. She has threatened to decide my profession, classes, everything and with the usual emotional abuse in between. I really would like to continue with college but not with her having all the control, so would it be manageable to take I think 12000-15000 in loans each year? I am a sophomore now, and will hopefully also find off campus housing that is cheaper and that I can stay in year-round so I don’t need to go back home next year.</p>
<p>Although I took leave of absence on my job because I assumed I would go abroad, I think they will take me back (and probably give me the worst hours :/) and I also have so research to complete with will earn a little over 1000.</p>
<p>I am hoping the figure is closer to 12000 per year, but I worry the loans are too high to take. Any advice? Also, is it too late to take loans for the spring? I’d like to start as soon as possible, but then I’d probably have issues finding housing for the summer. </p>
<p>What is your planned career? One where you are pretty much guaranteed a $40K plus job after graduation? If not, those loans could leave you in trouble.</p>
<p>what is awful and what were the strategies employed or was any attempt made to do so?
THat isn’t a lot of information
It is a world of difference if someone blew off a whole semester, if they took too heavy of a load, had learning issues or severe illness, suffered external event that was unmanageable, or jsut forgot to set the alarm.</p>
<p>So-
how awful were the grades- did you pass?
What were the reasons for the awful grades
What strategies were tried and why didn’t they work and what are you going to try next time?</p>
<p>I never said the grades weren’t my fault, though I did somewhat overload with too many credits+work (not the main problem I think). Regardless, that’s not the issue: if the response is her picking my career for me, I obviously need a way out. To be honest I would really just appreciate financial advice; my relationship with my mother is complicated and probably neither of us have been perfect, but she is unlikely to change and I am unlikely to stop resenting her for past and present behavior.</p>
<p>and I suppose I always thought bad grades should be handled with dissapointment and demanding the student takes loans or works more hours, not threatening to beat their face if they talk back to you and getting some kind of schadenfreude out of seeing them cry with self-pity when you tell them they’ve ruined their future. Just a thought.</p>
<p>and no I will not have a 40K job because I will be teaching at a low income school to fulfill my TEACH grant. I will hopefully have a Masters. I’m sorry if my previous tone was snippy, but I was hoping to get neutral responses about what to do about present and future finances and instead see everyone wants to dig up the past. I’m not proud of my grades so I’m hardly in the mood to post them on a parents of top students forum to be critisized, I’m sorry.</p>
<p>No need to beat yourself up about your grades IMHO. My conjecture is that mom loves you and wants the best for you but going about it the wrong way. </p>
<p>Going to school and self supporting can be very difficult. Would you consider stopping for a year to try to save some money up first ?</p>
<p>Parents here will genuinely try to help you, but to do so they need to understand the situation. Getting awful grades means your mother has a point - a legitimate complaint. She may over-react, perhaps WAY over-react, but the best way to deal with that is to get better grades. </p>
<p>Also having bad grades puts you in danger of being unable to find a good job when you graduate or worse flunking out and not graduating at all. And your prospects of paying back student loans will influence the financial advice any sensible person might offer.</p>
<p>How about asking your mom to give you one more semester to improve your grades in your current major? Then clean up your act and do it. It is way easier than being saddled with all those loans in a low-paying profession after college. Believe me, you will work less at your grades than you will at paying off that debt. At the end of next semester if your grades are not acceptable, then you have to change plans. Either (1) start paying your own way. I agree with the idea that you may need to take a year off to earn some money for this, or (2) consider changing to a major that you can get better grades in and possibly has better earning prospects (probably what your mom wants). While I certainly don’t condone abusive behavioir from your mom, it sounds like you have been WASTING HER MONEY. Don’t forget, you are on a parent’s forum, so while you are correct that it is YOUR LIFE, it sounds like it is mostly HER MONEY that you have spent. Most parents save and work their tails off to give their kids good opportunities; some anger on your mom’s part is probably undertstandable if you have mismanaged that opportunity.</p>
<p>The other choice is if your chosen profession is low-paying, then consider that a private school is a luxury you can’t afford, and think about transferring to a state school with a good teaching program.</p>
<p>Coming out with a ton of loans so you can teach in inner-city schools for low pay is not smart. And maybe mom doesn’t think that paying big bucks so you can get lousy grades so you can then go and teach in inner-city schools for low pay is the smartest use of her funds, either.</p>
<p>I’m a teacher. It’s a wonderful profession. But not one that supports the use of tons of loans to get an undergrad degree, IMO.</p>
<p>I honestly think that many kids underestimate the sacrifice on the parents part to finance their college education. </p>
<p>OP: Your mom’s reaction to your bad grades as you describe them are definitely over the top. However, it’s important to remember that she probably feels as though you haven’t appreciated the financial sacrifice that she has had to make to pay for your college experience. To her, she sees you as wasting a once in a lifetime opportunity. Why don’t you re-evaluate the situation? Find a neutral place for you and your Mom to have an adult conversation. Take her out to lunch. Bring up the dreaded conversation regarding your last semester grades. Be calm and mature in your tone. Take responsibility for your actions. Set up a plan of action with her. Ask her to trust that you will significantly improve your grades for the Spring semester. Tell her that you want to prove to her and to yourself that you are indeed capable of succeeding.</p>
<p>Before the credit crunch, students seemed to be able to get all sorts of loans on their own without a co-signer (albeit at a higher rate of interest). I wonder if it is still that easy to get loans…</p>
<p>Have you talked with your school’s financial aid office yet?</p>
<p>A lot of students have a sophomore slump–classes get harder, professors aren’t coddling the freshmen, some students slack off on effort after having a successful first year. Your best bet is to negotiate with your mother for a workable solution and then deliver the goods.</p>
<p>We had this agreement with our kids, maybe you can see if your mom will agree. </p>
<p>We paid, and continued even while on probation, what we agreed to pay and the kids had their Stafford loans only. They were expected to make continual progress toward their degree. When they finished, our investment was our gift to them. If they dropped out or were kicked out, they had to start repaying what we had invested to date. The amount of any lost scholarships, was their responsibility.</p>
<p>Agreed with all…consider changing schools. I completely understand the desire for financial independence and wouldn’t want to presume to understand the relationship with your mother.<br>
Large student loans in today’s world, for any major, are a mistake.</p>