<p>Ever since I turned 15 my parents made me get a job and pay for everything. I pay for my phone bill, car payment, car insurance, school fees (I’m a senior), gas, food, everything. I’m constantly struggling for money. My parents have a boat, lakehouse, camper-- a multitude of things they don’t need, or things that are usually purchased after all their children are sent to college.
We sold our house today so they can down-size before I leave for college in late August. The problem is that with the extra money they’ll have from selling the house, they’ll just blow off on things they don’t absolutely need.
I’ve had depression issues because I’m constantly stressed out about money. They are more than able to at least make a small dent in my college tuition, but they refuse to because their parents never did. My mom’s a nurse and my step-dad didn’t even go to college. They always make me feel like I owe them something; they put a down-payment on my first car for my birthday last year (I’m 17) and I was telling my mom about problems my car has been having with starting and she accused me of being ungrateful and said “well, YOU’RE WELCOME.” I said “for what…?” I’m paying them back the down-payment “birthday gift” and I pay for the hunk of metal myself.
When it comes to colleges, my plan is to go to a VERY good school, get a respected degree, land a high-paying job that will make all my debt something of the past eventually. Nobody in my family has dreams as big as me really-- I want to go to a private school in Chicago, whereas my family lives here in Kansas.
My basic question is: is it realistic, and how the heck do I do it?</p>
<p>Note: my father is a single-parent and makes a very low income. I’ve been thinking about moving in with him to get away from the carping of my mother. </p>
<p>Any feedback helps. Thank you</p>
<p>First read the sticky thread at the top so you understand how financial aid works. If you live with your father for most of the year, that will be the parent income you use when you file FAFSA. However for private schools, likely you will have to file other aid forms that will take into account both parents family income. You may not qualify for any aid beyond Federal Loans at privates. Target your instate flagship and look at the sticky threads that discuss automatic merit scholarships.</p>
<p>I hear a lot of emotion in your post, OP, and emotion is great for motivation and, as you know from your anxiety and depression, for disabling. You want to channel that emotion into getting a college degree, but you also want to make decisions that are rational, reasonable, and fit your reality at that moment. Emotions can lead to poor decision making. So you can, for instance, really want to move to Chicago, or go to a VERY good school, or live debt-free–all quite possibly good desires to have–but is it a good decision to do everyone of those things at one time or any of them at this time? That is less certain. So remind yourself that you don’t have to have everything at once, that you’re going to live a long time, and that if you make good decisions and act wisely you probably can have the things you want in time.</p>
<p>You’ve already shown the maturity to be able to hold down a job, make car payments, and continue living with your parents for the time being. Continue to show that maturity. You need to educate yourself about the opportunities that are out there concerning your next step. Using this forum is just the beginning, and you might need some adult help along the way. Use your guidance counselors while you’re still in school. Gather as much info as you can about the opportunities that are available to you when you graduate from high school. Then you need to make some priorities for your next few years–write them down. You want to go to college, you say, but you don’t have to go right away if there are better opportunities available. College will be there in another 6 months or 4 years, and in some ways you’ll be better prepared for college in a couple years. But if you make a priority going to college the August after graduating from high school, ask yourself what you need to do to in the mean time to prepare to pay for college. You will need to sit down with your parents and calmly go thru your plans with them and ask them if they can promise you any support. If they cannot, then you’ll know that for certain and can make a decision based on that fact. Will you have to go to your local community college or local state school and live at home? You may not want to do that, but if your first priority is August enrollment that might be your best choice at that moment. Or would you be able to afford Kansas or Kansas State? Would, on the other hand, joining ROTC be a possible route to your goals? Are your grades good enough to earn merit awards? Without your parents’ support, you won’t be able to afford a private college unless you have extraordinary scores, stats, and extracurriculars. OR you’ll have to find external sources of revenue such as ROTC. OR you will have to postpone college for a year or several, perhaps establish your financial independence from your parents. OR… </p>
<p>There are ways to get where you want to go and many ways to get there. You need to slow down and think your way thru them. Come back and ask for help here. Read up on college and financial aid. Take charge of your life. Use that emotion to drive you forward, but use your brain to keep the car on the road. Life will continue to throw up roadblocks in your path. It’s how well you think your way thru those roadblocks that will determine your success.</p>
<p>OP, ignore the ROTC specific advice above. ROTC is NOT a way to pay for school. It is for young men and women whose highest goal is to serve their country as an officer. Every time I have seen a student get an ROTC scholarship to pay for school (and it is rare since the services are very good about weeding those students out) the student quickly drops ROTC. Then they have no way to pay for school.</p>
<p>Since it sounds like you won’t qualify for much/any/enough financial aid, there’s few ways that a private college would be affordable. You’d have to get a near full ride. Even going-away to a public univ would have the same challenge.</p>
<p>Are your stats high?</p>
<p>If you have high academic stats, look at the sticky threads at the top of this forum section for the automatic and competitive full tuition and full ride merit scholarships.</p>
<p>In that list, note that Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago does have a competitive full ride scholarship. Not listed in that scholarship thread, some have reported getting a full ride Stamps Foundation scholarship at the University of Chicago. However, the competitive full ride scholarships will be far more selective than just admission to the school. Very near Chicago, Northern Illinois University has an automatic $23,500 per year scholarship for 3.75 HS GPA or top 5% class rank, with 33 ACT, though that leaves a $12,021 remaining out-of-state cost which would be a stretch to self-fund.</p>