Comments on another thread of some people never witnessing their parents in decades of marriage/family life kissing made me think about the different norms we may have regarding PDA whether that be hugging, kissing, holding hands - or more.
In the past when younger, now or maybe how we see our kids display affection as adults.
Share what you like! What you’ve experiences, what you are ok with seeing - what you are NOT ok with seeing.
My parents relationship seemed fairly function based - keep the kids and home and work going. They did NOT ever go out together without us kids. They did always do like a home from work kiss or some slight affection in front of us.
One of my love languages as a couple with my husband has always been hand holding. I LOVE the feeling of hand holding - to me it also represents being relaxed and having a good time. We did that a lot when younger and I will still grab his hand now if we are out even as a family. I love hand holding.
We are a very “huggy” family. We hug when we see each other and when parting. Even if we live in the same neighborhood. We express “I love you” very freely. The kids all with partners will exchange a kiss in front of us and cuddle on the couch that sort of thing but are not OVERLY PDA! Overall I think “hugging” is something very common for all of us with people we know. I of course weigh that thought before hugging others knowing it’s not for everyone!
My family are huggers but my family growing up was not affectionate at all. Oddly, my dad became more affectionate in his later years but my mother never did. I did not want that model for my kids. We also say “ I love you “ frequently, something I rarely heard growing up.
I grew up in a family that was very demonstrative and I am the same way as an adult and parent. When my daughter has been uncomfortable holding hands or being affectionate with partners, that’s usually a red flag for me that it’s not gonna last long
My family of origin was very affection. Dad was from Bolivia, there everyone kisses hello and goodbye on one or both cheeks. I always greeted ny parents and all like that. I still do with my children, although I don’t get the kiss returned.
DH family is not affection. I’m sure they were taken aback with my hugs and kissing them when we first dated.
DH and I together show lots of affection when alone, kids grew up seeing that just sometimes we were. We rarely kissed in front of them and won’t do PDA in front of others.
My mom And extended family also were from Europe/Africa and double kiss and are very touchy. I wonder if others note this too.
I also want to say that pda or no pda is ok, whatever is your habit in your family. Love and caring is not only measured by touch. You can be genuine and caring in other ways.
I do not remember my mom and dad saying I love you, nor heard it toward my brothers or myself but my husband and I say it as the goodbye leaving the house, going to bed, talking on the phone. I always loved holding hands but for some reason it is difficult physically with my short stature and faster pace, my husband says I’m alway pulling him. We do hold hands for short walks or while sitting (at a football game). Another fun thing, my husband kisses me everytime our team scores a touchdown at the game (we have season tickets). It’s been kind of a barren year but a game or two last year the guys behind us said “it’s time to get a room and it’s only 3rd quarter!” He does rub my back and my sore feet, so that’s a lot of lov’n right there. This post is making me smile.
