<p>Maybe I’ll tell people I sold my daughter to buy a new car! :-)</p>
<p>Same here. My daughter is in the city’s best school but she’s still wanting more challenge. And here, despite being a big city, college aspirations usually mean a regional college to keep the kids within “visiting” distance of family.</p>
<p>When my daughter first told her teachers she was applying, several questioned my motives as a parent and assumed she was being punished. Others dragged their feet about filling out the recommendations in an effort to “help” her until they understood it was her pushing to go, not me (I was crying over losing my best bud). She texted them while on interviews to remind them of deadlines - one told her she’d forgotten - then texted back “Just kidding.” Her band instructor teased that she was being sent away because her “parents didn’t love her anymore.” And her Latin teach volunteered to write a recommendation even though it wasn’t required. By the time the letters came and she was once again flying off for revisits, the teachers didn’t blink about her missing classes because they understood and worked with her.</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure the teacher’s were doing it on purpose for her friend’s benefit. It helped get them get used to the idea. Everyone talked about it openly or plotted to take her spot on the debate team once she was gone. Many of them texted her while she was visiting schools to tell her to get out of New England or face their wrath. So they’ve had two years of her talking about it to get used to it. </p>
<p>That’s the hard part. Some of her friends have been with her since elementary school. They feel a bit abandoned, although that is less and less because of social media.</p>
<p>You know the most unusual part - it’s all the local parents who were dead set against her leaving (and giving me a hard time) that are now asking me about summer programs and forwarding them links, etc. The consciousness has been raised now that she’s leading the way to a path that was considered “forbidden.” Even my husband’s family (which is new to the idea) wants to go visit the school.</p>
<p>So to answer the poster’s question - start the transition now - make sure your friends know they are appreciated, spend time together as much as possible, then stay in touch using social media. It will make a difference - and you’ll have someone to “kvetch” to in private (about teachers, etc.). I suspect my daughter and her pals will still be “studying” together and sharing strategies (debate, etc.) online.</p>