<p>This may come off as a bit of a vent but I’m curious to know if other people know people like this… </p>
<p>But does anyone know anyone who is absolutely awful with money? I mean, no concept what so ever? I apologize in advance if I am describing anyone on here… but I’ve had quite a few people ask me for things recently…</p>
<p>I know somehow who was evicted from their apartment for not paying their rent… but has no trouble buying an iPad. Sorry, you can’t stay here. Someone who just had their car totaled and is now trying to borrow money off people to buy a new one because they had no collision and don’t have credit to qualify for a loan. Sorry, but I’m not loaning you a cent and I’m not co signing your loan either. And no, you can’t borrow my car. Maybe you should sell your 8 video game consoles and 5000 games for them and buy a car with that. I realize its your kids birthday but unfortunately I am not going to give you money to buy presents for them. You seem to have plenty of money for a never ending supply of cigarettes. Why don’t you forgo picking up the carton on the way home that I just heard you tell your husband you would get and buy your kid a present with that. Or how about, May I borrow money to pay my cell phone bill because it’s about to get shut off. Yes, I am aware that other people have loaned you money before. Yes, I know that someone else that we know loaned you 500 dollars once. I’m also aware that it took you two years to pay them back and even then it took a lot of begging. So no, you are not borrowing any money from me.</p>
<p>I can fully understand if you lost your job or something along those lines but these people have full time jobs and are a few years older then myself… I just don’t get it. I hate to sound rude or like a bad friend but I don’t work all day to support myself and you. I’m 28. I own my car, my house (well, I have a mortgage on that), have the appropriate insurances and I feel uneasy if I have less then like 5k of emergency fund money in my bank account. These people have like 5 bucks in their bank account. I realize not everyone is great with money but come on… Maybe I’m just the one person that everyone assumes has money so they come to me first for handouts. I don’t know.</p>
<p>Yikes, I have a relative who is a sweet young girl, married a man much older than herself. She worked full time while going to college full time (he took his time and got his bachelors degree when he was about 30, then decided to go on and get a masters degree in art—while not working mostly). He finally graduated, bought a 30K motorcycle with no job in sight…months behind on the mortgage payments, going into foreclosure. She lost her job, but he finally (at tremendous family pressure) got a job as a security guard. No health insurance for several years.</p>
<p>Leaving me to wonder, how do you leave it to your young wife to support you while you continue as the perennial student, and as a man, how do you live with yourself not taking care of your family, but buying expensive toys on credit for yourself?? Ahhhh!!!</p>
<p>we are proud of you, fendergirl…keep up the good work.
my son, 27, just went to South by Southwest to show off his start-up - while maintaining his full time day job…he met up with a high school friend, same private school - still working as a waiter…</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with working as a waiter. It’s actually a profession in Europe, and here, in the US, in the bigger cities, in the better restaurants, I can promise you the head waiters are making a good, middle class living, AND they are all college graduates.</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with starting your own business while working a day job. Certainly has worked well for many Americans.</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with anything except not taking responsibility for yourself as an adult.</p>
<p>Of course, if 60 is the new 40, as they are saying in the press these days, it’s no wonder 30 is the new 20. Still, “begin as you mean to go on,” and OP is wise beyond her years, as we all know around the cafe. </p>
<p>Good luck with this situation. Best to kind of move away from it as gracefully as possible. Had a brother who was like this til he got married and had kids, and now he’s wildly successful and great with money. You just never know.</p>
<p>i don’t expect everyone to be as “good” with money as me, I just wish people would use more common sense. I don’t care if you are a waiter at 30, a cashier at 30, or an investment banker at 30. you try to live within your means. Getting evicted out of an apartment a month after they buy an iPad doesn’t exactly sound like they have their priorities in order.
They are all perfectly nice people and if you just met them you’d have no clue that they don’t have their ducks in a row.</p>
<p>I just think it’s funny that everyone asks me. I would have no problem loaning my best friend a little money if she absolutely needed it because her husband has been unemployed for about 4 months and this job market is still pretty horrible. He’s been on several interviews every week… finally had a job lined up and then found out they were eliminating the position they were hiring him for! She’s got two little kids and I know money is tight with them right now. I know she would pay me back in a timely fashion however she would never ever ask me to borrow money like that so it’s a moot point. I do however take her little boy to pick out a little something at the store when I see him, which is like one time a month. We usually come home with a new shirt or a $5 dvd or something little from the dollar store. She always tells me that I didn’t have to do that but never puts up too much of a fight… What can I say, it’s my job to spoil him right? :)</p>
<p>And I’ve had tenants complain they might have to move because the heat bill was “eating them up.” Yet on a visit there I found some upper floor windows partly open, storm windows open, and the lady of the house dressed in only t-shirt and jeans. I pointed out that if they wanted to pay for enough heat to be comfortable running around barefoot in a t-shirt with some windows open in the winter, then they need to expect a big bill. Most people that care about their bill wear shoes, socks, long sleeves, maybe a sweater too, and close all their windows! They are still sometimes late on the rent, but they kept their directv. And yes, their windows are closed now.</p>
<p>Our next door neighbors have a kid in middle school like we do. The dad hasn’t worked in years and the mom works nights in a not very good job, despite having a college degree. Their kid lacks for certain things like appropriate clothing and money to attend school activities. I’ve agonized over whether to offer to pay, but my husband, who sees them more than I do, told me to keep an eye one day when I wasn’t working to see what goes on. Turns out the dad, who has a much in demand skill that would get him a decent-paying job in a second, spends all day drinking beer with his buddies and playing rock music. They live in an apartment owned by a relative and don’t pay rent, but they buy a case of beer a day and smoke like fiends. A pack of cigarettes costs $11in NYC, so you’re talking about a chunk of change on a monthly basis. They could make better choices for their son, but they’d rather not, so I prefer to stay away.</p>
<p>Fendergirl, you are one in a million.
Money issues are major causes of fighting between couples. Luxories to one person are necessities to another.
Heat and a/c–such easy ways to cut down on bills.
Eating out often–learn to cook or fix prepared food at home.
Shopping–don’t go to “browse”</p>
<p>I think every high school senior should take a class in managing finances – how to balance a checkbook; how to evaluate a credit card offer; how to compare loans (car loans, student loans, mortgages); how to create a budget. Sounds like OP figured this out on her own – way to go!</p>
<p>Fendergirl,
You are right–it is a shame that folks have their priorities all mixed up. It’s great that you and actually quite a few people have their financial houses “in order.” It really helps reduce anxiety and lets you sleep soundly at night.</p>
<p>There are many people who have financial priorities I don’t understand, but we’re all different. It’s sad when bad choices made by parents affect their kids, but that is frequently the case. I guess because we try to live below the radar, no one has ever asked us for money. I guess it’s partly because many of the people we know have more apparent wealth than we do, which is just fine for us. </p>
<p>We know MANY people who like to buy all the latest expensive tech gadgets and then bemoan having to work at jobs they hate for the benefits. They also grumble about loans and payments but have much newer cars than we do, which they only keep for a few years before they get the newest, best thing that comes out. It doesn’t seem to buy them any more happiness or security, just more “gimmies,” and sucks them more deeply into the “golden handcuffs,” where they have to keep their despised jobs just to keep their pricey home & other things they feel they MUST have.</p>
<p>Having a class or a ton of classes in managing a checkbook, understanding a loan is a fine idea BUT won’t make much of a dent when folks are born into “entitlement,” feeling that they need to maintain a certain lifestyle and can’t distinguish NEEDS from WANTS. There are many in our country that blur these and advertising and all these “Sex in the City” type shows glamorize having a ton of possessions & gorgeous place to live. When a kid is raised in a family who is always working their best to “keep up with the Jonses,” what else should the kiddo learn?</p>
<p>I have to laugh because I pick my battles when it comes to splurging on certain things. The one thing I do splurge on is heat. Not like I heat my house ridiculously warm but I keep my house a good 5 or so degrees warmer then my boyfriends house, and my house is larger, so I tend to go through much more oil then he does. But I don’t have to wear eight sweaters and cover myself with ten blankets when I’m sitting in my living room, lol. I’m exaggerating slightly but that’s how it feels when I’m over there sometimes… haha. Oil is crazy expensive right now and I probably should turn it down but I’m standing by this choice. If it costs me an extra 200 bucks or so over the course of the winter, that’s worth it to me.</p>
<p>That being said, I almost had a car accident that would have totaled my car on the way to work today. It scared the crap out of me. Thankfully my car and myself are okay but I was really shaken up. I also have a plumber coming over shortly to look at something with the house. Oh the joys of home-ownership… and the bill that will be sure to follow. LOL.</p>
<p>We enjoy splurges as well–I admit I love going out to eat at nice, reasonably-priced restaurants and occasionally a nicer, pricier one. Heat isn’t an issue with is and we don’t have an A/C, tho at times we do turn on the fans as it can get quite muggy here. Being an appropriate temperature is important and can affect overall health–when our bodies struggle to keep us adequately warm, we can get ill.</p>
<p>I strongly agree with post 10. Such a class in high school would repeat and reinforce what the parents should have taught the kid, as they prepared him/her for adulthood.</p>
<p>Different than fendergirl- one thing we scrimp on is heat. Dress very warm, keep house cool unless a guest is coming of course, and prefer to spend our savings elsewhere.</p>
<p>We do enjoy eating out too… We go to a reasonably priced resteraunt usually about once a week unless something else comes up… Like typically we wouldn’t go this week since I have a plumbers bill to pay but we have a double date with a couple from work tomorrow and I’m not a fan of canceling plans. We’ll just skip our date night out next week and eat in instead. That being said, if I was someone who lived paycheck to paycheck and struggling to pay bills then eating out once a week is probably not the greatest of ideas.</p>
<p>I think a basic finance class like that in high school would be great. I took a finance course in college but it was more related to business as opposed to your own personal life.</p>
<p>Boy Scouts who want to make Eagle have to complete a badge on finances, which includes making and following a budget and other basics. I’m not sure whether Girl Scouts does so as well.</p>
<p>It would seem that math could be made MUCH more relevant in lower grades if real life examples and budgets were incorporated INTO the curriculum rather than a standalone course in HS. My kids had to do sample budgets in health in 9th grade or so, with sample earnings & how they’d use those earnings to pay all their expenses. It was somewhat eye-opening for them to realize that all the 0000s didn’t amount to as much as it sounded once bills had to be paid, especially our high rents in HI.</p>
<p>That is true. I do think we did things like that when I was younger but I could be wrong on that. I know my sister learned how to do her taxes in high school as part of a class she took.</p>
<p>I have been in public accounting 25 years and have many multi-generational families. In my experience, the apple usually falls very close to the tree. I think good money management skills are one of the most important things parents can teach. Surprising, the amount of income often has little to do with timely bill payment and savings ability.</p>
<p>Yes, but some kids just don’t take up the lessons. Two of mine are frugal, the other one has huge credit card debt. Scored 790 on the Math part of the SAT. Has several credit cards up to the max… has suffered from the bad credit but hasn’t changed. Like I said, some kids just don’t take up the lessons.</p>
<p>^Agreed. I grew up in the same family with my two siblings, but we are all over the place in regards to prudent money management (I’m the miser in the family.)</p>
That being said, if I was someone who lived paycheck to paycheck and struggling to pay bills then eating out once a week is probably not the greatest of ideas.</p>