<p>I have a close friend whose son is THISCLOSE to perfect SAT scores. He feels competitive with other kids in his school and town who have reached that benchmark.</p>
<p>Not sure how to support her, as a friend.</p>
<p>When she asked if I thought her son should take them again to close the gap, I realize I made a thoughtless remark like: “What’s wrong with you?”</p>
<p>My intent was to suggest that her son has done fine work, earned stellar grades in a very hard course of study and has taken the SATs twice, plus nailed some perfect scores in SAT IIs. In other words, he has high chances of being accepted at the most select schools.</p>
<p>I was also thinking that the time spent working on perfecting the SATs might be well spent in getting involved more deeply in some club or activity he really enjoys. (Though he’s very involved already.)</p>
<p>I feel bad now and suspect she may think that I am trying to pull down her son to our son’s level. Our guy’s got very nice marks, good GPA and respectable SATs… but he’s not “ivy” material. And frankly he has no “ivy” ambition.</p>
<p>Any thoughts? I am fine with reaching out and apologizing for my thoughtlessness. Sometimes with kids and college, I think “enough already”! And when I think that, I am usually talking to myself.</p>
<p>Let them work it out for themselves. If that is what her son wants to do, fine. If mom encourages him, fine. Worry about your own son and leave it alone.</p>
<p>Just in case her feelings were hurt by your comment, I suggest that you tell her something like you are impressed by her son’s scores, and think it should be up to him whether to try for complete perfection.</p>
<p>“My intent was to suggest that her son has done fine work, earned stellar grades in a very hard course of study and has taken the SATs twice, plus nailed some perfect scores in SAT IIs. In other words, he has high chances of being accepted at the most select schools.”</p>
<p>Just FYI: When it comes to the most select colleges, they want more than scores. They also want very high grades as well as extremely strong ECs. If her son has are high grades and scores, but minimal ECs, the top colleges probably won’t want him.</p>
<p>I double NSM’s comments. “Just in case her feelings were hurt by your comment, I suggest that you tell her something like you are impressed by her son’s scores, and think it should be up to him whether to try for complete perfection.”</p>
<p>Or just tell her you’re clueless because you’ve never faced the same <em>problem</em>. (Pretty high class problem I’d say)</p>
<p>I don’t know about others, but I have plenty of friends whose kids do not have as high scores, etc. (or I don’t know one way or another, which is just about the same), and I would never go whining to them about our “predicament”.</p>
<p>Isn’t this sort of like going to your friend who is middle or lower income, when you are upper income, and complaining about your income taxes? Or what to do with your big bonus?</p>
<p>Isn’t this sort of like going to your friend who is middle or lower income, when you are upper income, and complaining about your income taxes? Or what to do with your big bonus?</p>
<p>"I don’t know about others, but I have plenty of friends whose kids do not have as high scores, etc. (or I don’t know one way or another, which is just about the same), and I would never go whining to them about our “predicament”.</p>
<p>I agree. It’s like when the model-slender girl complains to her chubby friend that she has gained a pound. I’m left wondering whether the OP’s “close friend” really is such a close friend. I used to have “friends” like that. It took me a long time to realize that those friends were not friends at all.</p>
<p>The only difference in being THIS CLOSE to scoring 2400 on the SAT and scoring 2400 on the SAT is that if you are the latter, you might get your photo in the paper. (Just had an article in the local newspaper about one such kid.) </p>
<p>As for admission results, I can’t haven’t seen where someone with 750+ on each section was penalized because they were not at 800.</p>
<p>The Presidential Scholars honor is awarded to the 2 highest scoring [ for all SAT tests] seniors from each state. Only 100 students are chosen each year.</p>
<p>Regardless of your friend’s insensitivity or the fact that she is in all likelihood (depending on the type of scores you are talking about) misguided, your remark was still a hurtful one and your friend deserves an apology.</p>
<p>While your friend may well have been clueless in saying something like this to you, it may have been possible that she values your knowledge on the college process, was taking your son and his scores completely out of the equation, and was simply asking you for advice. Any answer that begins with “What’s wrong with you” (unless you said it in a joking kind of way, and even then) has that potential. My advice is to apologize for the remark without qualification or explanation - you can just say that you realize how flippant and badly that came across. You can use NSM’s line, but I’d preface it first with a humble apology.</p>
<p>I agree about an apology–it never hurts-- but she did ask you for advice, so she presumably wanted to hear your opinion. It would be better if you had said it the way you meant it, but we all make mistakes. My son got 1550 the first time out and no way would I suggest a re-take. People can actually go DOWN on a re-take when their scores are that high. I view it as a waste of time to keep hammering away at the same test, but that’s just me.</p>
<p>I think the Presidential Scholar thing is not just about SAT scores. One boy and one girl from each state are chosen, but there are numerous “candidates” and an essay has to be written to go on, so it can’t just be test scores.</p>
<p>Thanks for clarifying the info about President Scholar. I know one that received it and the student did get perfect score so I thought it has something to do with perfect SAT scores. Come to think about it, other in the same school that have perfect SAT scores but did not make it either.</p>
<p>Thanks to all who responded. You helped me clarify a lot of things. Yes, I am inexperienced with the college process and this board has lots of people with multiple kids and deep experience with various goals, personalities and energy levels for this endeavor.</p>
<p>I thank you all. If my gaff proves useful to others to read through, then the question and posting might be a productive contribution to others as well.</p>