<p>3togo…with 2 daughters that are 2 years apart, this was frequently the case at our house. And, as everyone says, it’s normal. I’ve seen a 180-degree personality change with the girls… D1, a piece of cake and generally predictable disposition through adolescence, was clearly excited/apprehensive/hesitant/and ready to go at most times. Sort of like the mood swings of early adolescence.</p>
<p>D2, always one to let her “evil twin” to show up, is filled with so much relief to be done with the whole high school crap, and is much more pleasant to be around now. She’s excited to be going to a place where her older sister will be nearby, and she’s lived vicariously through her sister in the past years…the uncertainty that D1 struggled with is not there, and it shows.</p>
<p>By this time with D1, I had random and unexpected tears when I started the “this is the last time that…”. It got worse through the summer…I remember being at lunch with D1 and husband in early August that year and having to leave the table to go sob in the bathroom! I have no doubts that tears will be shed by this mom when we leave her little sister at school, but I guess D2’s relief and happiness has rubbed off on me.</p>
<p>I dread September already…it will really hit me that I’m an empty-nester about the time that my 50th b-day comes around. Ugh.</p>
<p>My child used to be the chatterbox that could rival Cliffie Claven (of “Cheers”) with his facts and trivia. Now, his idea of communication is one grunt for “yes” and a groan for “no”. Although, he does come out of his stupor at least twice a week. :)</p>
<p>This happened with my oldest S (now a college grad). He drove me nuts. When we dropped him off at school I could not believe how much I cried! I also did not expect to miss him so much.</p>
<p>Now my D did not go through this at all. And for some reason I didn’t feel quite so sad about her being away from home. I was excited! She transferred back to our area and I’m glad she did. She doesn’t live at home but I see her a lot.</p>
<p>My youngest S will go to college just an hour and a half away. I don’t know if the snark will start or not.</p>
<p>All I know is that there are a multitude of emotions I never knew I had until my oldest went away. (He’s presently in Ecuador working on a farm!)</p>
<p>My S was like that sometimes in the summer after he graduated from HS but D skipped senior year & also skipped the obnoxious bit (yeah!) I do agree it might be for the kid to have less separation anxiety–he was fine in college. D was pleasant up through the moment we dropped her off as a transfer for 2nd semester sophomore year. Kids are all different.
S had a lot on his mind in his senior year & spent a lot of it physically feeling bad, while D had only done one college app & was pretty clear that her goal was to join brother & many of her friends at their U, where she was pleasantly surprised to be accepted. Don’t know if it totally explains it, but S has always been nasty & cranky when he’s tired while D would just quietly fall asleep until she recharged. Personalities are different and so are coping mechanisms.
For me, the letting go process for college was not as wrenching as when the baby started preschool–maybe that was when I really felt they were severed from my hip (had been with me virtually 24/7 before then). Since S has always been private & independent, it wasn’t as noticable when he left as when D left 1.5 years later. Since she’s only been gone since January, it hasn’t been as bad as I expected, especially since they’ll both be home in less than 1 month!</p>
<p>Hey, guess what? I have this pooping-in-the-nest syndrome with a 23-year-old college GRADUATE who is starting medical school in August! She is being horrid all over again, just like the months leading up to starting college. And she doesn’t even live in the same state! </p>
<p>I’m trying to gently push her to get her darn financial forms done so she can borrow a gazillion dollars to finance this. “Mom, you bring this up every time we talk.” I am ready to retire from being a mother.</p>
<p>bookiemom, I was ready for my mom to retire from being a mother when I was 23 (or maybe younger). Bless her for not doing it. But she did let me make my own mistakes and live with the consequences. Maybe you can let your daughter deal with the worst that can happen if she doesn’t fill out the forms. At this stage, if she screws up, maybe your safety net should simply be a free, clean room for a vacation-length stay (longer at your discretion), a warm batch of cookies and some home-cooked meals, with hugs thrown in?</p>
<p>May I suggest a summer job as a night stocker? Worked wonders with my daughter after her senior year - barely saw her. Am trying to push son in that direction now.</p>
you got that right … and the kids must have stayed up late at night planning their strategy … as soon as the third could crawl the three would all head in different directions so Mom3togo and I couldn’t catch them all … they didn’t know who would get away but they were all committed to making sure one escaped!</p>
<p>3togo–I so agree…my three are all teens at this moment, and the mood shifting is fun to watch at times. </p>
<p>my s (now college fresh) was constantly finding everything wrong with our home, life etc. but also did the hang out together on the couch bit at other times…definitely felt like separation/nest fowling…upon his most recent visit home he commented on how much he loves our home, and was delightfully complimentary towards me, his h.s. senior sister and even 7th gr bro. wonderful to see their growth. now have h.s. d to contend with but nice to have them take turns…</p>
<p>“Perfect son”? That’s a hard thing to live up to, and maybe he’s stopped trying.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s a problem to insist on decent manners. He <em>does</em> still live with you, and it sets a precedent for what you’ll expect when he comes home from college.</p>
<p>centraleagle,
You are too demanding. Maybe if you choose very few buttles, you have a better chance at winning maybe one of them. Otherwise, take it as is and be happy with it. Most likely he is just so much better than most others. You have a nice boy, be proud!</p>
<p>This thread has really made me laugh today…thanks for that! Both S and D were total pills the summer before college. I still cried after drop-off (but not very long). I then proceeded to the “happy dance” that was previously mentioned. We’ve found that the attitude gets better with time, but D has matured more quickly and is easier in general to have around for short periods than is S.</p>
<p>This summer, H & I are dreading the very real possibility that soon-to-be-college grad S will have to come live at home with us when his lease runs out in August. He doesn’t know that we’ve decided he will live in the basement :)</p>
<p>My sister-in-law told a story of that summer before college and just being awful to her mother. As the summer wound down she was in the middle of another fight and said the taboo thing in their house,“I hate you!” Normally she could expect to be chastised but her mother looked at her calmly and said,“I hate you too.” My s-i-l immediately burst into tears and said,“How can you say that to me when I’m leaving so soon?”</p>
<p>helenback–boy can I relate–last summer when my now freshman son was insufferable/critical I put him in his place–you know I said “don’t speak to me that way”</p>
<p>he replied–I’m leaving in ___ weeks, how can you say ____. I said, good try…</p>
<p>Ahhh, the fond memories. I remember thinking, when my son was a senior in high school, that it was becoming a close race between my son leaving the house for college and me throwing him out of the house first!</p>