<p>After it was too late to benefit S, I read on CC that there are certain seemingly harmless adjectives which are being used by GC's on college recommendations to subtly communicate a perception about a child, and/or these words might be interpreted in a negative way by an Adcom. One example given was the adjective "hardworking," which could be code for "grind" or "isn't that smart and had to work very, very hard for those grades and scores" </p>
<p>Lo and behold, our school's guidance dept. just asked parents to fill out a form describing our children's attributes, personal growth, and accomplishments. In a large hs like ours, many students never talk to their GC's; D's GC doesn't know her well at all. While this has been the case for a while, I think the guidance workload is worse than ever so they're resorting to this method. So in that way, this could be a good thing. But it also could be very dangerous if not done carefully.</p>
<p>So, my question is this: what adjectives are a no-no? My D actually is very hard-working, so that might have been one descriptor I would have chosen had I not been forewarned. So then I starting thinking, "How about diligent? No, that could sound like she's a goody-two-shoes who plods along and lacks spontaneity." And from then on every word I thought of developed the potential for evoking an unwanted image!</p>
<p>Secondly, when I discuss an area of growth for D, how do I avoid indirectly implying she lacked that quality before? Suppose I would like to say D has become much more focused on her interests since the start of high school. Could that make them think she was unfocused and scattered before?</p>
<p>And how about this question: What personal qualities/characteristics set your child apart from others? Wow, what if your kid is pretty typical? Or what if S/D really is spectacular? How do you avoid sounding braggy? I mean, my D has strengths, but I'm not convinced they are so exceptional that they set her apart. Other top students would necessarily have many of the same traits.</p>
<p>It seems to me like this 2-page questionnaire has so many possible pitfalls that I shudder to think of what harm a parent could unwittingly do!</p>