Personal Statement Critique

<p>For a scholarship I had to write a less than 250 word personal statement about my future plans. This essay is all they are basing their decision on. Advice?</p>

<p>I am pursing a degree in environmental sciences and a certification as a paramedic next fall. The environment has always been a focus of mine from studying it in school to picking up trash during family hiking trips. I will use my degree to obtain a career in environmental management. Becoming a paramedic will not only provide me with a secondary career option but also provide me with the knowledge of what to do if I am ever placed in an emergency situation. I believe both these paths will make me a more capable volunteer in the U.S. Peace Corp. It is my dream to join the Corp. after college to immerse myself in a new culture while provide aid to the people of a foreign nation.</p>