<p>If you asked me three years ago if I loved being tall I would have said ‘absolutely not’ with no hesitation. After all, what girl would love to taller than every boy in her class.
Growing up, I was always a foot taller than everyone in my class, and sometimes even the teacher. In class pictures I would always stand out like a sore thumb, so I would slouch to make myself look shorter but it would never work. I always hated my height when I was younger because it made me so different from everyone.
Being six-foot-2, people automatically think I am number a number one athlete, or a top model, however I am not. I am not your stereotypical tall girl who is number one on her sports team, or top model. I am an average athlete who excels mostly in art . Art is what makes me stand out from other people. When people ask me if I am basketball or volleyball player I say ‘no’. When I say art, it puts a stunned look on their face. I like to make people believe that tall people are not always the number one athletes. They can be outstanding in other things than sports. </p>
<pre><code>If you asked me three years ago if I loved being tall I would have said ‘absolutely not’ with no hesitation. After all, what girl would love to taller than every boy in her class.
Growing up, I was always a foot taller than everyone in my class, and sometimes even the teacher. In class pictures I would always stand out like a sore thumb, so I would slouch to make myself look shorter but it would never work. I always hated my height when I was younger because it made me so different from everyone.
Being six-foot-2, people automatically think I am number a number one athlete, or a top model, however I am not. I am not your stereotypical tall girl who is number one on her sports team, or top model. I am an average athlete who excels mostly in art . Art is what makes me stand out from other people. When people ask me if I am basketball or volleyball player I say ‘no’. When I say art, it puts a stunned look on their face. I like to make people believe that tall people are not always the number one athletes. Exceptionally tall people are not always good at sports, there is more to them.
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<p>What kind of feedback are you looking for and what schools are you interested in? This won’t get you very far on it’s own. It needs work. A lot of work.</p>
<p>You drone on too much about “number one athlete” and “top models” when it really doesn’t have much to do with what you are actually writing about - art. Try and bridge some sort of connection between your height and your love for art be it through an experience, epiphany, etc. </p>
<p>Also, try not to construct sentences like : “Being <em>__, </em><em>." Or "Growing up,</em>___”. These sentence structures seem very sloppy and can be written to be more concise and powerful in conveying a message to the reader. When I see these type of sentences I am immediatelyreminded of the cliche statements that I typically hear from NBA, NFL athletes that have trouble expressing themselves eloquently in interviews.</p>
<p>As it stands, I agree that your essay still needs a lot of work.</p>