Pet Death (not an essay topic)

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Our dog died last night and we are a bit in shock and don’t know what to do. If it were summer I’d bury him on our property, but we have several feet of snow. The vet will cremate him for $80, or $280 if we want the ashes.</p>

<p>DD was shaken but able to drive to school OK.</p>

<p>DS is away at college and I’m thinking I’ll call him after he’s out of his morning classes. Any advice?</p>

<p>The hardest part about it for me is that after my stroke 18 months ago I suffered from “emotional incontinence” and am on medication that supresses my emotional reactions. I’m sad but I can’t cry. I feel like a block of wood.</p>

2

<p>I’m sorry that I don’t have any knowledge or experience that would be helpful to you. But I do want to let you know that I am sorry for the loss of your dog. It’s been many years since I lost a pet and I remember how difficult it was. I still think of my beloved cat 30 years later.</p>

3

<p>I’m so sorry about your loss, Sherpa. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a member of your family.</p>

<p>Our dog died when our two oldest kids were away at school. We didn’t call them until we knew they had a block of free time so they could digest the news. They were sad, but they handled the news amazingly well. </p>

<p>We chose to have our dog cremated with the ashes returned to us. My floodgates opened when I picked up her ashes and held the urn in my hands for the first time. That’s when I knew our sweet girl was really gone.</p>

<p>The hardest part for us was coming home to a house without a dog. It seemed so empty. Although we thought we couldn’t emotionally handle another dog for at least a year, we adopted two young dogs within three months of our old dog’s passing. It turned out to be the best thing we could have done for everyone’s sakes.</p>

<p><<hugs>></hugs></p>

4

<p>I’m sorry this happened - I know you will miss your friend. </p>

<p>I had to euthanize my cat last week. She was 15 and suffered from kidney failure. It was very difficult. </p>

<p>I left her with the vet to cremate. I have never felt an emotional attachment to what is left after a person or animal dies so I had no problem with the mass cremation. Of course, the alternatives are more expensive for a larger animal. </p>

<p>I say this because I have friends who felt guilty not arranging for a burial or having the ashes returned. You can still create some sort of memorial with pictures or use a collar or even a favorite toy.</p>

5

<p>I am so very sorry to hear of the death of your dog. Pets are truly a member of the family and often we become more attached to them after kids go off to college. I would suggest cremating your dog and keeping the ashes as a remembrance. Don’t worry about how you’re feeling - everybody grieves differently. My heart goes out to you.</p>

6

<p>I am also very sorry to hear about the death of your dog. I have had 3 dogs die over the years and I had them cremated and buried in the back yard. But now I wonder if I did the right thing because I now get very sad when I go in the back yard.</p>

7

<p>I would look for other alternatives - is there a pet cemetery in your town? </p>

<p>Call some other vets and see what they will charge for a cremation - I think $280 is pretty pricey. If all the prices are about the same they most likely use the same facility.</p>

<p>Many of your friends and family will not understand your grief at losing your pet. It is not an easy process for those of us who become deeply attached to our pets who give us unconditional love every time we walk through the door. Non pet owners and even some pet owners just do not understand.</p>

<p>I wish you all the best in this time of your loss. Take care of yourself. To have this happen within 18 months of your stroke will not be easy even if the drugs you take block your emotions. Those emotions are still inside your body. You might want to visit the Rainbow bridge website. There are two - one is a .com and the other is a .org. There is also a .com for petloss.</p>

<p>Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.</p>

<p>When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.</p>

<p>All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.</p>

<p>They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.</p>

<p>You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.</p>

<p>Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…</p>

<p>Author unknown…</p>

8

<p>Sherpa, I share your grief; my dog died yesterday as well. We have called our daughter, but haven’t yet reached our son. It is so hard. Seeing him in distress was the worst part. I try to remember that we were with him at the end and that he has found relief. We opted for a $60 (group) cremation.
I hope your pain is easing.</p>

9

<p>Singersmom - that was a beautiful poem. I’m teary-eyed just reading it.</p>

10

<p>michone - when our last dog died we struggled with the depth of our feelings. I found the poem on line and it really helped.</p>

11

<p>We have three geriatric pets, and my heart goes out to you. Some vets will also take a plaster pawprint as a keepsake - my daughter has requested this when ours go (since she doesn’t live at home anymore and most likely won’t be here to say goodbye).</p>

12

<p>Get a copy of Dog Heaven, a children’s book by Cynthia Rylant. It helped us. So sorry for your loss. We’ve been through it twice so far.</p>

13

<p>Sherpa, I’m so sorry. Our beloved miniature poodle died in November. We are still grieving, and we think of him every single day. First, the details: $280 seems pricey to me, too. As I recall, we paid $160 at a pet crematory that our vet uses. That included a very nice wooden box and the very kind services of the staff member who made the arrangements. We could also have opted for a group cremation and burial. Check with other options.</p>

<p>The loss of our dog (I’ll just call him E, to make it easier) has affected us deeply. He was an important part of our family–companion, caretaker, watchman, napping partner, walking buddy, entertainer, babe magnet (through my S’s middle and high school years), greeter, and officemate (I work from home). The first thing I did was tell everyone who knew him–friends, family, neighbors, petsitters, the groomer, colleagues who could overhear him “mumbling” while I was on conference calls (he was always kind enough not to bark). I sent an e-mail and wrote on my Facebook wall. It was easier not to have to tell people in person. Everyone was so kind and comforting–even those who aren’t “dog people” (E had a special way of cozying up to them). We made a little shrine with his photo. I sat down and wrote a lot about him–stories, funny habits, milestones in his life, etc. My point is, you don’t have to grieve in private. Others have a lot to offer you (and I found that those who think he was “just a dog” won’t say anything). </p>

<p>Our son had just gone back to school after TG break and knew he would not see E again because E was very sick. We called him before and after the euthanasia procedure (our vet came to our house). He wrote on his Facebook wall, too, and told me that his roommate is a doglover, so that helped.</p>

<p>I know something about stroke and emotional incontinence, so I can understand how you feel. But you are still grieving inside. Take the time to celebrate your dog’s life and just let your heart ache for a while. My eyes literally hurt from crying, but nearly three months later, I’m making progress.</p>

14

<p>The charges in this area go up according to the size of the animal. I just got the bill for my cat and the cremation fee was $34. </p>

<p>Fortunately, a few days before the bill arrived, I received a really nice handwritten note from the vet’s office - signed by everyone in the office.</p>

15

<p>^^^ You’re right. I had forgotten about that. The person at the pet crematory told me that the cost was based on size.</p>

16

<p>sherpa - I am so sorry for your loss. I love my pets so much, like part of our family. Life wouldn’t be nearly as great if God didn’t create pets for us to love. And they love us back -unconditionaly. Well - maybe not my cat. She is a little snotty.</p>

17

<p>I am so sorry for your loss. Our dogs have been a part of our family and it is so painful to say goodbye. Give yourself the gift of grieving without judgement. Everyone does it differently, there is no right or wrong way.</p>

18

<p>Sherpa, I’m so very sorry for your loss.</p>

<p>Singersmom, I’m sitting here in tears after reading that piece you posted. And it isn’t even the first time I’ve read it!</p>

19

<p>Sherpa,
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the information we discussed backchannel was helpful. You are obviously a very caring individual.</p>

20

<p>Sherpa:</p>

<p>I too am very sorry for your loss… Pets become such a special part of our families and it is very difficult to see them go.</p>