We had to put our beloved 13 year old cat to sleep yesterday. She had an embolism that caused paralysis of her hind legs and she was in extreme pain. She was my D’s pet, the one she picked from the animal rescue and D is devastated. We are all in a state of shock, our cat did not have show any signs of illness so we were not prepared for this.
Although, I don’t know which is worse, being prepared and having to make the decision of choosing the “right time” or like this, having to say yes to the vet with hardly any time to think. Both ways are horrible.
We had gotten Sabrina for my D because both kids wanted a 'kitten" and Hazel (my cat at the time) was 16 years old and just ate and slept. We had Sabrina for 2 years before we had to put Hazel to sleep. Of course Sabrina was mopey after Hazel was gone so we went and got another kitten- Misty. Now that Sabrina is gone, Misty is mopey and looking around for her sister. As much as they ‘fought’- little slap fights, they usually chased each other around the house playing tag and when nobody was home they would sleep next/near each other.
I can already hear my D ask for another cat, but I’m not sure if I want to go another round. Although, who am I kidding? I do love cats. But how much time should we wait? Is this another “you’ll know” scenario?
So sorry about your kitty. Hugs. Cats do “grieve” the loss of their “siblings,” as we found out the hard way. Please watch Misty and make sure she is eating! Our Ms Kitty starved herself when her “big sister” died…
Do consider another shelter cat. See the two in my avatar? They were added by my kiddo to the white cat we had. Took them a year to sort out their hierarchy, but now they sleep in a big catball in the comfy chair. 
>•<
So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved kitty.
When my Mittens #1 died on a Tuesday, we got another baby kitty at a shelter on Saturday when our boys could go with us. But, everyone is different. So, only you know what is best for your family.
{{ hugs }}
And yes, other pets do “grieve.” My Sammy (dachshund) literally cried when my Missy died.
We had to put are big dog (15 1/2) to sleep a few months ago. H said he wanted to wait a bit before getting another dog. I was ready immediately. His “bit” lasted 2 weeks. He said our house felt unbalanced. My little dog wasn’t even mopey as big dog did a lot more sleeping than playing with her. We found new dog at pet adoption clinic and he fit in immediately.
I am so, so sorry about Sabrina. Hugs and comfort to you and your family.
My response to this is going to depend on why you’re not sure about another cat. Is it because you’re nearing retirement and hope to travel without being tied down by animals? Is it a cost issue? Is it because the pain of the loss can be too much?
Going from having a non-human animal companion to not having one can be quite a shock for our pets.
So sorry to hear about your kitty. Your story was our story - my daughter’s cat Sam also had an embolism that paralyzed his back legs. It was sudden and completely unexpected, especially because the cat was only 8 years old. My daughter was alone with him when it happened so she was the one who took him to the vet and stayed with him during the euthanasia. Even though it happened ten years ago, it still makes me tear up to think about it.
When Sam died we also had an older cat. She and Sam never really got along - they just tolerated each other. Like BB, we did get two kittens to replace Sam, but unlike BB’s cat, our old cat never really adapted to the new kittens. Maybe the new kittens were too rambunctious, or maybe the older cat was just born grumpy…since she neevr seemed to warm up to any other cats.
How long did we wait? About two months. I have to admit, we adopted the new kittens (from the shelter!) primarily because my D was so heartbroken - maybe we didn’t think enough about the impact on the older cat. I’m glad we adopted the new kittens, but I still miss Sam.
I’m so sorry about your dear kitty. I think you know you need another kitty!
That is how our kitty died, @ChuckleDoodle – I didn’t realize that was the cause, but those were her symptoms.
Sending good thoughts. She sounds like she was an exceptionally good cat.
My Mittens #1 had similar symptoms. She couldn’t use her back legs very suddenly. I was in shock when the vet was drawing pics of what was going on, and can only vaguely remember bits and pieces. He used the word FATE, and now that I looked it up, I think this was the same thing. I remember him drawing a Y
Maybe it’s morbid, maybe it’s just blackly humorous, but George Carlin had a great quote about having (and buying) pets:
“It’s inevitable when you buy the pet. You’re supposed to know it in the pet shop. It’s going to end badly. You are purchasing a small tragedy."
Makes me laugh and grieve at the same time. Pets are great, and I have loved all my cats, and yet…
How much time… Good question. When Ms Kitty died, we decided to wait. A month later, we took some leftover cat foods cans etc. to the local shelter. We decided to peek at the cats in there, and there was a long-legged, long-tailed calico kitty, about 2 months old! Mr. B petted her, and I knew it was an instant match! Mr. is allergic to cats, but this kitten did not make him sneeze. As Mr. was holding “Penny” in his arms, a family with a bunch of kids marched in. “There she is! There is the second one!” cried one kid. Turns out, the family adopted Penny’s sister, and when they realized how great their kitten was, they went back to get the other one! To my huge surprise, Mr said, “Sorry, guys, but my wife really needed a calico kitten, and this one is just perfect. We already adopted her!” Wow. So Penny - Ms. Kitty Sarah Penny - went home with us that afternoon. She brought us so much joy until she broke our hearts when six years later she slipped outside and disappeared in the dead of night, leaving her white adopted sister behind. 
Then my D found the two darlings (in my avatar!) in a dumpster in a remote Central Asian city.
I put my dog to sleep last November. Same story: hindlimb paralysis at not even 10 years old. He was not in pain, but was very confused and depressed, and getting worse by the day. We prepared ourselves for months, and then I cried for months every single day. It’s finally getting better now, and we are getting a new puppy in a month - just went to meet him today for the first time. He is a darling puppy, but on the way home my husband told me that it’s still very hard for him. Different strokes for different folks.
Hugs…lots of hugs. We had the same problem. Our boy (15 years plus_ died and the girl was left. We were going to get a dog right away. After grieving a few days, she perked up. And she spent the rest of her life as a solo. And she was happy.
And after having only rescues…we bought a puppy. She comes home in a few weeks.
we are still sad…we will always love them.
Dogs need other dogs. Cats tend to have issues with cats they didn’t grow up with so it’s a risk introducing another cat. They may get along - or not - and sometimes I’ve seen kittens makeover a fairly grumpy older cat just by being kittenish, but sometimes not. (As in the month old stray kitten who still teetering unsteadily was introduced to our elderly cat, looked up at this much bigger animal and hit her in the face. That set the tone.)
I think the decision depends in part on stimulation: does the cat get enough stimulation from its environment or does it need cat companionship? And that raises another issue: if this is indoors, that means the physical territory has to be shared more intimately, which can cause problems.
In our case, we’d be fine not having more but they wander in from outside starving and tend to move their furry butts inside. Except for one, who comes in to eat, roll on the floor with a toy and then bolts, even in the dead of winter. Weird little animal. Likes to be held, loves to be petted, won’t stay inside and is the only picky eater we’ve ever had.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and comments. We are doing better, still missing Sabrina but it will be a day by day thing. It was interesting to read that an embolism is not all that unusual. It takes some of the guilt away from thinking we could have done something or seen something that would allow us to get her to the doctor sooner.
D is not crying anymore, but still sad. Misty (our ‘tub’), is still eating like there is no tomorrow so she seems to be doing okay. She has been looking around for her sister and meowing for her so we are trying to give her some extra attention. I think when the time is right we will probably get another cat. Misty came from a rescue home where there were about 100 cats/kittens so she is used to someone else besides her. We will probably go back to the same woman that gave us Misty as she always has a huge assortment of cats/kittens.
Seriously- she had about 100 cats in her 1200 square foot house! I thought it would smell like a litter box but even my super sensitive nose could not smell funky cat litter. I think she said she has about 20 litter boxes and various helpers to keep everything clean. I’ll post back whenever we get another cat/kitty…just waiting for D to ask.
Hugs to you and your daughter. Glad to hear that Misty is eating ok. Our white cat came from a rescue house just like that. I too can smell molecular traces of funky smells, but litterboxes apparently can be kept stench-free.
Mr. B calls our cat adoptions “never ending stream of cats.” I’m sure your daughter will ask soon…
As for missing: I think about some of our past pets all the time. Never goes away, but it’s not a huge hole the way the loss of a parent, sibling or child can be.
We put our beloved Siberian Husky (hence my screen name) to sleep a few hours ago. The relief in finally making the decision - after many months of declining health, watching, trying to help him and worrying - was soon replaced by that horrible empty feeling upon arriving back home.
I don’t see myself ever having another husky, he was our first, he grew up with our kids, and none other would be as good as he was. I’ve found over the years that it takes me months to process the grief associated with losing an animal. Bringing another dog into the house right away isn’t a solution for us.
Snowdog momma/dad, I am so sorry for your loss. It seems like snowdog had a wonderful life. I wish you peace and comfort during this time.